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Recent Blog Posts
I'm sure most of you are aware of the absolute crap show SD15 pulled the whole week of Christmas. She has not apologized for her behavior nor did she even reach out to DH to even tell him Merry Christmas. I have had my fair share of limits with SD, I tried to be nothing but nice to SD and I got pooped on, I tried disengage and it worked for a while until crap like this comes up and it absolutely unavoidable. I know it's not my right to tell DH that SD is not allowed here due to her behavior but I really really don't want to be around her.
We had such a fun Christmas. DH got me the CREAMi ice cream maker that he saw on TV Lol. It is a very uncharacteristic gift from DH but he thought I would have fun with it and he is right. DH was super cute and he froze me a premade mix so that I could try out the CREAMi right away. I have since made two types of ice cream and both turned out to be good. It will be really fun to use in the summer. I am going to try some healthier recipes next like frozen greek yogurt, fruit sorbet, and protein ice cream.
I never used to. Saturday We went to DH's parents and saw SS18 for the first time since he's been home from college. DH and him didn't talk for the first hour and DH ended up telling SS that they needed to talk about his college plans, because if SS thought he could just ignore DH and DH would still pay for SS's cellphone, car ins. And health ins, and co-signs all of his college loans, he had another thing coming because DH would stop paying all of it. SS got pouty but agreed to talk later.
Summary....
She's almost 19, acts like a 10 yo still. Didn't bathe till this morning, wash her face or brush her teeth. I know this because the towels I left for her were untouched until this morning. The day she leaves. I told DH the reason her hair looked so dark is because it was so dirty.
She gave DH a pack of dried seaweed that he likes for his gift (suspect it was from BMs cupboard). I got nothing. She gave us a house gift of two trivets she made in high school. Which is ok but obviously out of convenience.
Apologies are hard.
DH apologized to me for all the years we went to Skidville for the holidays. We fought about it every year. I wouldn't have minded as much if they came to our house once in awhile. Last year was likely the last trip and even then I didn't have to see either skid.
I still carry anger about it. I should have refused when he could still travel by himself. But I accepted his apology and didn't dredge up the residual hurt. And I appreciate his acknowledging that he never once spent Christmas with my family, never saw my traditions.
Yesterday, as I sat in the living room of my nearly 100 year old house (built in 1925) with my pretty little live tree, my dining room table decked out with greens and glass ornaments hanging from the light fixture, the TV playing a video of a crackling fire and Christmas music quietly playing in the background while delicious smells wafted from the kitchen, I looked around me at the faces of my two sons, their father and his girlfriend, and the girlfriend's daughter and son-in-law, and I thought "THIS is what it's like when families can blend and really enjoy each other."
This was something I had mentioned in a comment but thought I'd elaborate now that the day has come and gone, so might be time for an update..
I dont know why I get so nervous and anxious before having to go to MIL/ DH's aunts for Christmas Eve, knowing that its more than likely that SD was physically a no show once again as per usual. Thats the thing, knowing that there is always a possibility that these Skids are out there and capable of turning up. Someway. Somehow. bullshit in tow.
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to everyone who is celebrating tonight! I hope everyone had peaceful and enjoyable day.
Things have been pleasant here. Over the past week, both my SDs have spent quite a bit of time at my house and going to various holiday events with us. I think I must have some residual holiday trauma from years past when they or BM did something to ruin holidays, because even though it's been years since that's happened, I do always feel like my subconscious is halfway expecting something crazy to go down. Thankfully it didn't and we all enjoyed ourselves.
SD shows up and instantly huggy/kisses with DH. My blood boils around that girl... disengagement continues...Then, "dad do you want to sit and talk for a bit? Do you want to go take a walk with me?" Please, let this event end like now.
It's been pretty chill. I was exhausted yesterday, messed up the gravy, overbaked turkey by a few minutes. Not my usual standards. But veg and potatoes were good. And the champs. 
YSD made her usual vegan meal, still barely any conversation out of her. She volunteers nothing. I gave up.
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