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Need your advice and perspective about this. Am I thinking about this correctly?
Background:
The skids are PASed out—OSD since she was 14, and now at 20, remains completely estranged from her father. YSD, only recently PASed out a few months ago at 17, has also severed contact with DH. Neither daughter communicates with their father, despite the years he spent time, love, and all the care he has given them.
Yesterday when DH and SS return after school pickup, I notice SS asking DH to unlock his tablet over and over without a breath in between while DH is on the phone with a customer (DH has a flexible job and can work from home as needed). I ignore the situation due to my nacho mentality and leave DH to handle it. Eventually DH snips at him and tells him that he's on the phone, has to find something else to do for now and not to interrupt him while he's on the phone. SS proceeds to watch TV for a while but comes to see if I would unlock his tablet. I ask, do you have homework? He said um....
TGIF? I don't know her. When you have SS7 with severe ADHD, the weekends are agonizing. Meltdowns, constant whining/crying over miniscule things, bullying my 2 toddlers... and never ending talking/noise making. I don't want to deal with any of the behaviors but, when we live together 24/7 it's unavoidable.
We are taking the SKIDS to Mecico in July. We told them today and SD 15 said, "can we go see aunty N at spring break?" I find this to ve ungateful, we spent 6k on this trip and she is asking for more already. This was within 2 minutes of being told.
I just have a question. Does anybody else's SKs not give the same amount to you as they do to the biological parents? My 24 SD, who is the only bio kid that talks to my husband, always does less for me than she does for her dad. I feel jealous and left out and I'm wondering if I shouldn't be feeling this way and feel grateful that she even gets me anything for xmas or my birthday. For example, I received about $153 for christmas from her. I on the other hand spent over $250 on her from both her dad and I. She spent way more than $150 on her dad. Is it normal for SKs to do this?
Had enough of the he-said-she-said.
We will be fine. He promised he would work on the house to make it beautiful (instead of hanging with his dudes?) and that he will liquidate and sell all the cars (6-7 I think, that I know about).
It was because his computer skills are low to nothing and his new job requires everything to be documented and videoed. He said he "tried really hard but it just wasnt something he was able to do".
The pay was fabulous, he had retirement accounts.
It is what it is. Will be looking at the bright side:
I feel like I live 2 lives. One is happy, the other is not. We have the skids half the time. When they are not here, my wife and I can be intimate, watch our shows at night, have some drinks on the wweekend and enjoy our cats. The other half, that all goes away. Zero intimacy ever when they are home (10 and 15 and cant leave the house without mummy), ss 10 hogs the living room 24/7 (is annoying when not glued to screens so not worth changing it), no drinks together and they both feel the need to do loud baby talk to the cats so I cant even enjoy them anymore. I have talked to my wife
My DH and I play this dumb game of "When the day comes" and we are over the obligation of dealing with his HCBM what that will look like.
Lord have mercy.
Had a wonderful day out with my DH, sightseeing and enjoyed dinner at a charming restaurant located on the water. Out of the blue DH asks me if I would like to go visit The Diablas.
As you all know, they are moving outside of the US (hallelujah) where they have rented an apartment. He says, "The Diablas will already know the lay of the land and can show us around."
In my own mind I am thinking, "Lololololol Whaaaaaaaat?" I kept my cool. This is to be expected. The Diablas are predictable, as is DH.