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I recently read the book "Baby Teeth" by Zoe Stage, about a 7 year old girl that is a sociopath and tries to kill her mother several times. The father in the story totally fits the "oblivious disney dad" role. I kept having flashbacks to my own experience as a stepmom to three SD's who were being alienated from us by their Bm and turned suddenly cold towards us.
Sorry for the non-step related post but I have to get this off my chest and besides my husband I have no one I can share this with because of the nature of the situation.
As some of you know from my past blogs my mom is very ill. We have almost lost her several times this past year. I caregive for her 24/7 after moving her into our home back in March. (Mind you I just had my brand new baby in May and I also work.)
My husband seemed stressed lately (different things like his car etc) and this morning I asked how he was doing.. He said he is upset about his kids. I asked why.. And he said because he hasn't been able to see him. I asked why don't you set up a time... The thing is he didn't communicate with them over the summer much, I assumed he would plan something..
He tried a few weeks ago to meet up and they bailed last minute with lame excuses. He tried again this weekend and they both had excuses again.
....lots always going on!
In another post, MorningMia wrote: DH eventually began to see his kids for who and what they are and finally accepted that they would never have the relationships he expected. He said in a sarcastic tone (as if, "big deal"), "She (BM) WON!" lol.
A Pyrrhic victory is one that is achieved at a great cost, resulting in significant losses for the victor and making the victory unworthy. Our not-so-beloved Crazy BM has a habit of winning Pyrrhic victories.
Today is the long awaited day! This evening, I'll be on my way to Provence via Iceland, Paris, and Avignon. Planes, trains and buses.
My two good friends will arrive today and I'll catch up with them tomorrow. We'll spend 4 days walking trails around Provence, then next Friday, my one friend and I will head to the Atlantic Coast of France going back through Paris, to spend a week in her cottage.
I'll be renting a bike and getting in my miles exploring the flat coastal area during my 2nd week. *squee*
Hi guys, hit a low patch. How do I start to take control of my own life and not feel bummed down and plagued by unrealistic expectations that are placed on me. If I want to have a photo shoot of my bios without SS as they are babies then why do I feel like I can't? Why do I feel like I can't put pictures up of my kids in the house? Why do I feel like I can't take my bios on vacation when SS is with his mum in the holidays?
I am 28 weeks pregnant, I have a 3 year old and SS13 lives with us full time. I have such a biological urge for it just to be us 4, days out, I just want it to be us 4. I want a photoshoot with my 3 year old and newborn when he's born but don't feel like I can without SS. I do not feel like I can have a enjoyable vacation with my bios until SS is 18. I don't know if this is my pregnancy hormones but I have never bonded with SS over the last 6 years, I think it is made worse by my hormones though.
Friends,
First off I want to thank YOU. This particular group of stepparents have gotten me through some hard/dark/awful times and the shrewd / excellent advice and stories have helped shape my mind and behaviors to see reality. I was that stepmom that wanted everything for them and really dove in, sacraficed - and finally after SKID adulthood realized I was no better off than any other stepparent and possibly worse off than the ones that chose to do nothing (...if I were to do it all over again, I would do nothing and disengage right away.)
I survived the week! Thank-you for all the thoughts, prayers and emotions. 