BM started with parental alienation syndrome within 6 months of our marriage (several years ago). She initially hoped that her punishment would get us "in line" with how she wanted things to be (apparently, she would be Wife #1 and I would take the backseat, while DH would cater to "the family"), but the opposite occurred: we set boundaries and were determined to have a decent life together without toxic interference. It was not easy.

I bring this up because SS recently asked DH why I wasn't on Facebook anymore.

I mentioned here before that I connected with the skids via social media a very long time ago initially out of expectation that we would all get along just fine. When problems (quickly) arose, I stayed connected because we knew we were being lied to (a real dilemma...that wasn't my job, yet the intel was useful although frustrating/maddening).

He drove several hours and rented an Airbnb to see the skids. He said this was his last visit. These visits, ranging from 2 - 4 times a year, cost him over $1000 a pop, even more when he flies. 

He called me last night with the usual skid-visit distraught-sounding voice, maybe a little worse this time. He really enjoyed seeing the grands and getting to know them better (he had never met the youngest). SD invited him back to her house Saturday afternoon to hang out for several hours and have dinner, and he had been looking forward to that. SS was going to be there, too. 

It’s the look the skids (SD much more than SS) always had whenever I mentioned anyone in my family, when any of my friends or family (who were always extremely kind to them, by the way) were around, when I said anything about my job or other activities, when I pointed out where I worked as we drove by. Glazed-over eyes and no comments.