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The puppets of evil BMs

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Submitted by MorningMia on Tue, 06/17/2025 - 6:41am

Of course, I keep seeing this theme here: Skids feeding into the destruction of relationships by consistently proving their loyalty to BMs who haven't dealt with their own issues of (pick one or all) control, jealousy, anger, resentment, feelings of abandonment, and so on. 

Are there any among us who believe that the BM has not been behind poor skid behavior? Have any skids just taken on being asses all by themselves? 

DH used to repeat it all the time, as if it was an excuse: S/he feels the need to please his/her mom. S/he gets a lot of pressure.

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Repeat after me: We do not beg to sit at tables we were not invited to

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Submitted by MorningMia on Sun, 06/01/2025 - 11:24am

I came across this and LOVE it:

Repeat after me: We do not beg to sit at tables we were not invited to.
We do not chase people who exclude or ignore us. 
We do not seek healing from those who hurt us.
We do not set ourselves on fire to keep others warm.
We create our own circle.
We surround ourselves with only those who truly love, understand, and respect us.
We learn where to express our energy.
We remember our self-worth. 

-Dr. Jessica Taylor 

 

Speaking of Mother's Day . . .

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Submitted by MorningMia on Wed, 05/07/2025 - 7:41am

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms and stepmoms (including dog and cat and other pet moms) out there! 

I don't have (human) kids, but I am celebrating that this is my second year heading into Mother's Day NOT seeing the extreme forced Mommy Worship that takes place annually on social media by my skids--the over-the-top wuv and kisses and hugs and gushing these two adult skids have done for years. It has always been so over-the-top that it comes off as dictated and disingenuine.  

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Failure to Launch

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Submitted by MorningMia on Mon, 04/14/2025 - 7:34pm

BM worked hard to create mutual dependence between/among herself and the skids. The enmeshment with SD in particular has been like nothing I've seen. For years, I likened "BM's world" to a cocoon inhabited by the three of them. SS was at times an outlier, but it appears that he, now in his late 30s, has fully entered the fold. Like he's going backwards.

Update on DH

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Submitted by MorningMia on Wed, 03/19/2025 - 6:23am

I posted a little while back about DH, concerns about possible early signs of dementia or ADD, etc. He saw a doctor and was quickly diagnosed with ADD and OCD (the OCD dx surprised me). It was easier for DH to mention ADD to the dr rather than express concerns about dementia, so I don't think that ever came up. It's still a concern. At least he's open to looking at what's going on and doing something about it.  

This infuriates me

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Submitted by MorningMia on Mon, 02/24/2025 - 8:03am

When you have a crazy BM who has poured her poisonous crazy goo all over her kids, can you ever 100% free yourself of the toxic fumes? 

SD has apparently been whining to DH about driving 8-9 hours to watch 4 yo OGS play baseball next month. I normally don't give a crap about DH visiting; he doesn't go that often. But SD has 4 kids in her house, three under the age of 5, and she is anti-vax. And there's the measles outbreak in TX (apparently has spread to NM now). (SD is not in either state.) 

From Astronomer's post: Sister Wives

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Submitted by MorningMia on Sat, 02/22/2025 - 10:07am

Rumplestiltskin called it what it is: Sister Wives.  

Unfortunately, I know this well, because that is the situation the BM here wanted, all under the pretense of "what's best for the kids." When we put a stop to the nonsense, I was the one to be forever blamed for destroying "what's best for the kids." <EYEROLL>

The wanna-be sister wife warnings (feel free to add your own; it might save someone): 

BM's and SO's post-divorce enmeshment

O/T: ADD and/or Dementia--and overwhelmed

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Submitted by MorningMia on Tue, 02/11/2025 - 6:18am

The one (big) reason this might actually be "on" topic is that I have always wondered if DH's untreated ADD/ADHD has been a major reason for so many issues with his former family NOT being handled back in the day. We have been in a place for a while now where he has compartmentalized, and that has seemed to work. As you all know, he sees his kids offsite. I am fully disengaged. But I can't help wondering if he would have been thinking more clearly back in the day, some of the turmoil and suffering would have been alleviated.  

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Skids as BM’s soldiers—Cutting off the head of the snake and finding peace

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Submitted by MorningMia on Wed, 01/29/2025 - 5:42pm

Initially, BM came on way too strong with me, acting like we’d be sister wives or something. It was creepy—she had no boundaries. She tried to rope me into keeping secrets from DH, as if my loyalty would be to her, not him. I had recognized for some time that she was about control and manipulation, but had no idea what was coming once we married. 

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