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Frequently Asked Questions


Do I need to be concerned about my privacy?

Yes! Sure you do! This is a public forum, meaning that anyone in the world can read what everyone posts on this site, if they're looking for it. It's most likely how you found this site; by searching for something related to your situation. By being an open forum, the search engines get to index members blog posts and other people in need can find what they're looking for: people in the same situation.

So, in the interest of your personal privacy, and the privacy of your family members (and ex-family), do not post personal details such as names, well-known nicknames, specific places, etc. on this site or any other site for that matter. If you don't publish that information, it's impossible for someone to find you by searching for those details. You are as private and safe on this site as YOU make it. Take a minute or two to think about it. How would anyone know how to find you here unless you've provided that information yourself? How would any member of this site know who you are, your family is, or your spouses exes are, unless you give them that information?

They can't. It's that simple.

Bottom line, if you haven't posted your family's names, nick-names, places of employment, phone numbers, names of schools, etc., they won't find you here by searching. So as long as you don't allow them to find out you frequent this site some other way (browser bookmarks, browser history, watching over your shoulder, etc.), you're perfectly safe here.

So as long as you follow those simple rules you can contribute all you want to this site without fear of retribution.

What do the abbreviations mean?

Here are just a few:

  • SM = stepmother

  • SD = stepdad or step daughter

  • BM = biological mother

  • BF = usually biological father but every now and then some use for boyfriend

  • SS = step son

  • BS = biological son

  • BD = biological daughter

  • DW = dear wife

  • DH = dear husband

  • DD = dear daughter

  • DS = dear son

  • POA = power of attorney

  • CS = child support

  • MIL = mother-in-law

  • FIL = father-in-law

  • PAS = Parental Alienation Syndrome

  • SO = significant other

  • O before ss or sd = oldest

  • M before ss or sd = middle

  • Y before ss or sd = youngest

  • SF = step father

  • CO = custody order

  • GBM = biomom's mother;grand BM

  • CP = custodial parent

  • NCP = non custodial parent

  • OP = original poster

  • MOTY = mother of the year

  • GUBM = golden uterus bio mother

What are the rules of conduct?

First, by creating and using an account on this site, each user indicates their understanding and acceptance of the site's Terms of Use and the StepTalk Etiquette (STEtiquette).

What do I do if I am being called names or see behavior by other users that is against the site rules of conduct?

  • Flag the content

  • Contact a moderator

  • Do NOT take action directly with the offending user.  That will just get you in hot water as well.

What are the repercussions for users who break the site rules of conduct?

  • A user who violates the Terms of Use is subject to immediate blocking of their account.

  • A user who violates the STEtiquette will get a warning via private message for each offense.  On the second warning, the user will be informed that if he/she violates the STEtiquette once more, he/she will have her/his account blocked.

  • That said, site moderators have the right, at their discretion, to block egregious violators of the STEtiqutte immediately and without warning.

Can I delete my account? Or, how do I delete my account?

Yes! You can delete your account if you wish to no longer contribute to the site and want all of your prior contributions (Blog posts, Forum posts, comments, etc.) deleted. Just click the "Cancel Account" button on the edit tab of your account page. Once you confirm the cancellation, your account and all of your content will be deleted.

Can I delete comments other users leave on my posts?

Yes! You can delete any comments from your own blogs.  

Can I delete my own posts?

Yes, and no. Your blog posts are your own, and you have full control of them, including deleting them. You can also delete any comments on your blog posts.

Forum posts are different, however, and we don't allow users to delete forum posts. Site admins can remove forum content in order to enforce site policies, just like any other content. If you post something inappropriate to a forum, or accidentally post something that you should not have (too many details, real names of people, specific event or location information, etc.) and you need to have it removed, just contact a moderator with a request to remove (and the reason) and we will consider your request.

Is this site for Step Parents only?

Absolutely NOT!

Even IF we wanted to restrict this site to step parents only, there's just no way we could. Think about it, there is absolutely no way to verify that someone is a step parent. Anyone can lie about their parenting status.

Our slogan is "where stepparents come to vent", but that in no way means that we don't welcome anyone else. We welcome anyone who wants to contribute to this site in a constructive way, even if they aren't a parent at all. As long as you play by our rules, you're welcome!

On the flip-side, if you don't play by the rules, you are not welcome here. That applies to everyone, irregardless of your parenting status or how long you've been a member.

Can I block members from sending me private messages?

Users can block unwanted private messages by going to their user page, clicking the edit tab and scrolling to the bottom. Click on the relationships only option and only users on your friends list can send you a private message. Site admin will still be able to send you messages as well. Make sure you click "save" after you make the change.