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I Don’t Care: a Big Win

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Submitted by greyskies on Fri, 12/20/2024 - 4:35pm

It has come to my attention today, in this moment, StepFolks, that I really have truly reached the ultimate IDGAF-about-SK level.  I have been struggling with this for months, ripping my heart out and clawing at my head disgruntled.  OMG.  It really dawned on me that I just do not GAF!!! It's incredibly difficult for someone like me (like most of us...) to NOT care.  But OMG a big weight has lifted off.  I really feel quite free and liberated.

How do you learn to just not care about SKs opinions of you?

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Submitted by greyskies on Wed, 12/11/2024 - 8:08pm

I've gotten better than when I first arrived on scene, but I still have these days where I'm reminded that I'm viewed in a crap way by SKs when they ruined their own relationships with me.  Honestly, at one point or another, every single person they meet or befriend gets put down.... so maybe someone else is the common denominator.... but How do you just not care when someone thinks so vitrolly of you?  

SD missed her bus, thinks it’s bus’ fault

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Submitted by greyskies on Tue, 12/03/2024 - 10:20am

My partner has recently decided to stop helping monitor the SK time so they don't miss their bus. They have clocks, SD has a watch and alarm goes off over an hour before bus arrives, it's too taxing to read an analog clock for them, (not sure why it matters when our oven and microwave literally provide the numerical time stamp) blah blah.... 

So today SS barely missed the bus. He was too busy messing around to give a crap til minute of. But he made it.

Long time, no see … Update on changing dynamics

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Submitted by greyskies on Mon, 10/28/2024 - 12:57pm

Hello, ST community... 

It's been a while since I've been here.  After a long and painful last few months, so much has happened!!!

First... partner and I have been working together to drop the guilt (particularly my partner) and do what's gotta be done.  This has been a success, but ultimately we cannot control what kids do.  They are still little people and make choices in their behaviors and actions.  That being said, this whirlwind of a last few months has gained us SO much insight... 

SKs took my partner's engagement ring box and destroyed it

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Submitted by greyskies on Thu, 05/02/2024 - 9:44pm

Today's been hectic, my partner just got home and told me she accidentally broke her phone.  She's really busy right now trying to set the new one up and do the transferring of contacts and whatnot.  SKs were brushing their teeth, and I overheard SS10 murmur to SD13, "Do you have it? The box." I have outstanding peripheral vision, so I noticed a white ring box that seemed strikingly similar to the one I gave my partner.  They both had walked out of their rooms for a second, so I peered in. Yep, there is was.

SS10 tried running away today

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Submitted by greyskies on Tue, 04/30/2024 - 7:33pm

My partner went to go pick up SS10 at school this afternoon, and after about an hour of her being gone, I texted her to see what was up and if everything was alright.  School is only half a mile from home.  She told me that the staff was looking around for SS and couldn't find him.  I texted back if I could do anything to help and did not hear back.  She pulled into the driveway about 5 minutes later with him and SD13. 

When people show you who they are, believe them

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Submitted by greyskies on Sun, 04/28/2024 - 11:01am

I think this should be a new mantra we ST'ers keep at the forefront of our interactions with HCBPs, SKs, DH/DWs, even down to friends, etc.  I once read that you are what you consistently do.  So, of course, toss out the outlier days or moments, but pay attention to what is consistent, and you'll never be disappointed or surprised.  As they say, a tiger cannot change its stripes, by and large.  However, I do think in many circumstances, if a person's willingness and desire for change is there, they can and absolutely will make strides - no matter who you are, where you come from, or what yo

The power of being an outcast

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Submitted by greyskies on Fri, 04/26/2024 - 8:53pm

This has been a long-time thing now with SD13 ignoring me in the house.  Going OUT of her way to.  This morning, when she was getting ready for school and eating breakfast, she turned herself in the chair the complete opposite way, back facing me.  She rotated chairs to do it a few times, just in different chairs, at different angles.  Been disenganged slowly over time, but more rapidly recently, and I think she's just angry she can't pick a fight with me.  I'm nonchalant.  I've taken away her power.  She's one of those silent plotters.  You know the person outwardly expresses angst and hat

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