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CastleJJ's Blog

A Little Shocked By SS12

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DH FaceTimed with SS12 tonight for our usual twice weekly call. SS is in the middle of state standardized testing in school and told DH he just wrapped up English last week. DH asked SS what the English portion entailed. SS explained that there was reading, comprehension, and a writing prompt about whether class participation should count toward a student' grade. DH asked SS where he stood on that topic. SS said he felt it shouldn't and outlined his reasons.

Still No Summer Dates

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If you've followed along with my story, you know SS12 comes for a total of 4 weeks in the summer. It is supposed to be in 2 two week blocks but per our stupid CO, BM can break that down into whatever increments is needed for "sport related conflicts" as long as we maintain 4 weeks/30 days total. Oh and the CO gives BM up to one week before SS is scheduled to arrive (day after the last day of school) to make any changes. 

Toxic MIL

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DH's Mom (My MIL) is toxic. She reminds us exactly of BM. DH doesn't have a relationship with her outside of seeing her at extended family functions and a text on birthdays/Christmas. MIL constantly blames me for this, instead of acknowledging how her own behavior led to this type of relationship. 

Exactly What I Thought Would Happen Happened - SEEING RED

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DH received the dreaded football email from BM tonight. Exactly what I said a few blog posts ago would happen, happened. In her email, BM outlined that she has spoken with the coach and other parents with kids who have played junior high football and there will likely be optional Sunday practices. She highlighted that while they are optional, they will likely impact SS' position and team (A team versus B team) based on his "commitment" to football during those optional practices.

O/T: Toxic Job

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I posted a few weeks ago about my toxic job. As background, I loved my job until last Fall. I thought I was going to stay there for years. I had a great relationship with my manager, had a great relationship with my team, and felt content in the day-to-day. Well, I was "promoted" last September. I use air quotes because it was only a $1,500 raise, but double the workload was added to my plate. I didn't want this promotion, but couldn't I turn it down without losing my job. It was a "company restructuring effort."

See A Fight Coming This Summer

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SS12 has been playing football since he was 5. BM made this her hill to die on to prevent additional long distance visitation, citing that SS couldn't miss football in the summer to be with DH. The courts agreed. So, per our CO, we are entitled to 4 weeks of summer visitation, which is SUPPOSED to be exercised in two 2 week blocks, but the CO gives BM the power to break it up, if it interferes with sports. The CO states that DH HAS to accommodate it, no choice. So unfortunately, BM has all the power to dictate our summer visitation and we essentially have to agree. It sucks.

In A Funk

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I had a dream about BM and GF last night. They came to pick SS up and things got heated. I basically told them both everything I've been holding in for the last 10 years. These dreams happen maybe a few times a year, and I think it's my subconscious trying to vent all the anger and resentment I feel about my steplife situation. Since I can't really vent it aloud, it vents in my dreams. 

Visit with SS11.5

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As mentioned in my previous blogs, SS11.5 came to visit for the long President's weekend. We were planning on taking SS11.5 and DD2 to visit DH's family across the state. Well, I came down with the flu and was DYING on Thursday. I had the full aches/chills, high 102/103 fever, congestion, etc. When DH picked SS up on Friday, I told DH to take the kids and go for the weekend and I would stay home and rest, sleep, and recover. It seems like SS has enjoyed his visit with DH, DD and DH's family. DH has kept me in the loop via FaceTime. I have slept, ate, slept, taken meds, and slept.

BM Suddenly Being Nice

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I have been on Steptalk for several years now. I found this site during our high conflict custody battle in 2019 and have been here ever since, across 2 different accounts. If you have followed my story, you would know that BM has always been super high conflict. She has always refused DH any additional time with SS, acts like DH isn't an actual parent, always claimed that SS wasn't comfortable to be with DH, played games of chase to hurt DH, etc.

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