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Blow Up w/ DH

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DH took this week off to spend time with SS and DD. I did not take time off (I work 100% remote), but I have today off for New Years. DH informed me on WEDNESDAY that he works a half day today, from the office an hour away not remote. It is kind of a big item to fail to communicate, especially when no plans were made for SS. 

After SS' toxic phone call with BM last night, I told DH that I was not comfortable being home alone with him. DH's response was "I told SS he needs to be on his best behavior and he is pretty self sufficient - he can get his own breakfast and stuff."

Phone Calls

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I am at a loss for how to handle phone calls with SS anymore. Since we are long distance, we FaceTime SS at BM's twice per week, usually on Thursdays and Sundays. They aren't scheduled calls - DH texts BM on those days and asked for good time usually in the evening. At that time he FaceTimes SS on BM's phone. Usually, SS is in the kitchen or living room, no more than 5 feet from BM at any given time. It is evident BM (and GF) are listening to every single call.

SS10 Blew Off DH

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We FaceTime with SS10 twice per week, usually for a half an hour or so for each call. Since we only see SS for 6 weeks every year, often going several months between visits, this is really our only way to stay connected. 

Passive Email "Requests" and Visitation

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Many of you know that SS10 is enrolled in sports year round. Soccer in the spring, football in the late summer/fall, and basketball in the late fall/winter. Often times, he only has a week or so break between sport seasons, except soccer to football where he has two months, except BM keeps him loaded up with off season training camps. This kid practices two to four days per week with games every single weekend. We aren't in agreement with this much activity and feel that SS deserves to be a normal kid, but we have no say so it is what it is.

Christmas Gifts from Skids

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Christmases have always been weird with SS10. We didn't have him for a single Christmas until SS was 7 because our CO never outlined holidays and BM refused to give up holidays on the grounds that SS was used to her family traditions and he shouldn't have to miss them to see DH. When BM moved out of state in 2017, we demanded a holiday schedule and since we are long distance, those breaks are really the only time to see SS. Our holiday visitation equates to alternating spring break and Thanksgiving break and splitting Christmas break in half.

I Triggered Myself This Morning

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I was looking for our court order in DH and my joint email account today to look for a clarification to an upcoming visitation. The clarification I needed wasn't in the most recent CO, so I started looking for the old COs in our email. While we keep physical copies of all our COs and court documents, it is less stressful to keyword search for the document we need instead of sifting through thousands of pages of printed documents. While looking for said court orders, I ended up coming across packets of emails between BM and DH that we had sent our attorney for our court battle 3 years ago.

Update on SS10's Visit

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DH is currently driving SS the four hours back to BM's house to conclude our Thanksgiving visit. All in all, it was a perfect week. SS was very well mannered and had a really great time. I think him arriving empty handed from BMs really helped - no perfume covered stuffed animal to remind him of home. 

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