Hi all, SS13 lives with us full time and his mum sees him one weekend every 2 months (her choice) SS has been having violent outbursts at school and has always had issues. He recently started a new school 2 months ago and he's already been suspended twice for hitting people. Today we had a report that he punched another boy at the back of the head and he had put his hands on a girls waist even though he had been told not to, his reasoning was that he found it funny.

I have severe claustrophobia - so bad that I cannot tolerate being in a crowded venue, unable to move around without touching people (nightmare for a Finn!). It's due to something my oldest brother did to me when I was 5yo. My entire family knows, but most are now of the opinion that I need to "just get over it". 

It has been a toxic nightmare for 18 years, my DH and I went no contact with adult SDs in the last 2 years. My DH has recently been diagnosed with dementia, the SDs continue the pressures they have recruited my sister in law and her daughter and now they are all pressing that we need to let them back into our lives because they are family. We are dealing with narcissists and already know they will only cause problems, take advantage of our situation and cause huge upsetting that we don't need. In the past things were so bad, their behavior was affecting my health.

I know finances can be an issue in the healthiest of relationships/families, but in dysfunctional step-families, they fuel a bona fide s-show. One early red flag was after BM learned we were dating: Suddenly, the "needs" ($) of the skids ramped up (DH mentioned this to me with a bewildered look on his face). It was unusual that yet another laptop or iPad had broken and needed replaced; iPods had to purchased; new cell phones were needed; there were camps to attend; professional photograph sittings*; etc. BM did not have a good job and complained of struggling.