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How to tell kids you are going to fight for full custody

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Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 02/22/2018 - 6:53am

SS is 13. If you aren't familiar with my blogs for the last 5 years BM has done everything to limit all contact SS and stbDH have. She has limited visitation to less than 3 weeks a year- we are 1/2 way across the country so it isn't like we get to see him at basketball games, lunch at school, etc., weekends, etc. She is the poster child for PAS. Only says things that degrade SO, refuses contact, puts down on medical forms to specifically NOT release any info to SO, etc.

Finally heard back from the lawyer!!!

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Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 02/21/2018 - 10:43am

BM's lawyer is sending over their newest proposal this afternoon. It is going to be filled with BS. We are going to take that, submit it to the judge who has already told our lawyer that he is going to rule the divorced finalized with the journal entry and then we set the court date for custody. The judge also told both lawyers in an email that he is likely going to rule standard out of state visitation- Most of Christmas break, spring break, every other Thanksgiving and most of the summer. That is all that SO has been asking for for 5 years now.

When BM refuses to respond

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Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 02/12/2018 - 6:41am

We have been asking BM daily (rotating between a text and email) for almost 2 weeks now asking about summer visitation. We will be driving to KS in May for OSS graduation and driving back. It would be great to only have to buy a 1 way ticket later in the summer to send him home. BM won't respond. We are labeling each email/ text with "this is my ____ request for information regarding summer visitation".

Going for full custody- all gloves are off

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Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 02/09/2018 - 6:47am

Made the decision on Wed. after pretty much losing his sh!t, and briefly considered keeping YSS and not sending him back after spring break, that we are going for full custody. - If you didn't see my very brief post, there is no custody agreement. There is no divorce. He was divorced while deployed, that was thrown out thanks to the Soldiers and Sailors Act. But since a divorce decree was entered originally, Vital Records show him divorced, the Navy shows him divorced, but podunk Kansas does not. So... there we are.

Help with on the Spectrum Teen moving in- Questions for the therapist

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Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 01/29/2018 - 12:33pm

I am having a conference call with soon to be SS's Therapist this week. Just a reminder: he is almost 18, bipolar and autistic- he is on the higher functioning side. graduating HS soon and coming to live with us. He has spent HS with his grandma after BM2 left since SO is military and was highly deployable. I want to learn as much as I can and do the best I can. Please help with questions I should ask.

What I have come up with:

Question as a BM

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Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 01/15/2018 - 2:12pm

Over the summer my ex took me back to court to try and reduce CS because he has another kid. It hadn't been modified in a couple of years, I was no longer paying daycare but he had a substantial pay raise... so whatever. When I looked at it through the state calculator the worst case I could find was a lowered amount of $40/ month and best case was it went up $70. So anyway the date comes, I agree to let him count summer camp (which he shouldn't get to count by our county standards since I have sole physical- we aren't joint physical).

I think SO may be gun shy now...

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Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 01/12/2018 - 6:49am

After the gigantic disappointment with lawyers and SS13 not coming for any part of Christmas I think SO is afraid to be disappointed for spring break. Apparently the only 2 things that were agreed upon when they were in court a year ago (and yet to have signed into an order) was that SO would have spring break and "part" of summer. There is a so called sweet spot for buying plane tickets and based on SS's spring break that will be in about 2 weeks. I have been checking the prices daily and they are horrible right now... as in with the unaccompanied minor fee around $950.

It is sinking in now...

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Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 01/03/2018 - 9:28am

Back Story for those who don't remember/know: SO had SS17 right when he turned 19. What was supposed to be a 1 nighter right before he left for the Navy turned into a "do the right thing and marry her". BM1 never stopped partying and they were divorced before SS17's 1st bday. SS17 had issues. He is bi-polar and on the autism spectrum. His medication is well regulated and he does pretty good considering. After BM2 left, SO was still deployed in the Navy so SS17 got dropped at SO's mom's house.

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