I am having such a hard time with everything since losing in court for summer visitation rights. Our wedding is planned for June 9th. It will be small but our families will be there.... except SS13. SS18 will be moved in with us at the end of May. With SS18's autism and other issues, I really don't think he minds if he won't be there. He love us both but he doesn't love outside, he doesn't love standing, he doesn't love the beach, he doesn't love social situations, he doesn't love hugging, he doesn't love pictures, etc. This is just one of those things...

Since we aren't in the state, we are being teleconfrenced in. I am a wreck... like want to puke. 

I never would have thought a simple standard out of state parenting plan would wind up in court 4 times over the last year and cost 30K and counting.  I need prayers, I need faith that the judge will do what is right, I need a drink! 

We got the response from BM for our hearing next week. Her #1 complaint for SS13 to not be able to come out to the east coast from the mid-west is that we work. Since BM doesn't believe in holding a job (for the last 10 years) she doesn't think that SS should come see us where "he will be left alone all day". 

I realize that I can't control anything that is spinning me into a spiral of crazy but I can't help but have this overwhelming anxiety!

1) We are trying to plan our wedding for June 9. I am so happy, and so excited but of course everything hinges on BM and this freaking court case! So while we are making tentitive plans, nothing is concrete. Thank goodness we are doing things at my god-parents beach house so we can be flexible if we need to be. We want all of our kids to be there, it is really important to us.