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It seems like SS is learning more and more from BM

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 12/27/2017 - 1:02pm

As many of you know we were unable to get visitation secured for winter break this year. Hopefully within the first few weeks of January we will have that all worked out for SS to come to our state for spring break, summer, and other extended holiday breaks.

Since court was 4 days before Christmas and we were holding hope that the judge would order BM to send SS, so we did not send out his presents. SO tried to call and facetime SS Christmas morning but he didn't answer. Finally after a couple of hours he sent SS a text with a picture of all of his gifts under the tree and said that we were holding hope he would be out with us over some part of the break but since it didn't happen we will send out the presents tomorrow (26th) to his state. SS replied "OK". That was it for Christmas.

Day after Christmas SS calls SO. Says his iphone isn't working, he would like an upgrade. "Mom" said to ask you if they can go do that today. ---- ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME :jawdrop:

After SO told SS no, that his phone was only a year old, we were still making payments and that it is covered by the extra whatever bonus insurance plan- go get it looked at in a cell store, I had a chat with SO. I told him that in the past 6 months it really seems that SS is becoming more and more like his mother and only seeing you as a check book- not a father or even a person who loves him. SO agreed and he said he knows this is why he can't give up fighting for SS.

I really feel like this Christmas was a turning point in our realization of what is happening with SS. While he is with us he is a totally different kid. But BM won't let him spend more than 2 weeks with us. So... Who really knows what he is like really.

Comments

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Submitted by Dontfeedthetrolls on Wed, 12/27/2017 - 1:07pm

I would not be sending all of his gifts. Fine to send something small to show you still care / are thinking of him, but your expressing being upset because SS sees dad as a check book. How else would he see him when this is what is happening. Gifts aren't a bribe BUT why does BD need to send a lot of stuff to a kid who's already being cared for.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 12/27/2017 - 1:25pm

That is what I said. I think he should have held all but a couple of small ones here at our house and he can open them when he comes out next time.

Llilac1's picture

Submitted by Llilac1 on Wed, 12/27/2017 - 9:32pm

The upgrading the phone question, don’t be too hard on him about that. I know it’s frustrating but my own SD would have called and asked her Dad the same if her mom asked her to and she’s here 50%.

That old saying “out of sight, out of mind” really holds here. But it sounds like once he’s with you all he’s a sweet kid? I wouldn’t be too hard on him. It sounds like he’s used to not being there. You’ll turn things around if you guys get more custody.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 12/28/2017 - 5:28am

You are right. When he is with us he is great. Everything is great. I think it was just the ignoring dad on Christmas but wanting stuff the next day...

It turned out that his fingerprint unlock wasn't working. BM was in the background saying "Just tell your stupid dad...." "He is so stupid for taking me off the account..." you know all the fun stuff. Like she would ever be on a cell phone account with SO! They have been split up for 5 years! Insurance did get his phone taken care of, so that is good, just tired of entitlement. My own kids are the same though... I think all kids are now a days!