College
Quick recap for those that don't remember or know me:
We had a very contentious custody battle that we lost big time. SS19 was 10000% alienated and we have had no contact in over 2 years. Small town courts in the rural Midwest are not the friend of Active Duty Military fathers... or fathers in general.
Anyway, one part of the settlement is that DH has to pay "up to half" of SS's college. There aren't details on how many degrees, books, housing or anything like that. It just says college. I hate DH's first attorney and the 2nd was no better. DH does have the GI bill so there is no real out of pocket for us, just a loss in benefits that DH or I could use.
Current Situation:
SS's girlfriend, possibly wife, has had a baby. SS dropped out of college in March based on benefits used.
Does anyone know if him dropping out lets us off the hook?
Does him being a father matter? Is that some kind of emancipation?
If he is married, does he still get college covered by daddy?
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Emancipation event
I would assume would be marriage, joining the military, stuff like that but not sure if it kicks in if skid decides to go back to school. I've found that they seldom do after crossing the rubicon of dropping out. I hear ya about the dad attorneys. We went through 3 of them. The last one oddly enough recently passed on. First one horrid, 2nd one not much better.
I am sure these situations happened before
And the results are public knowledge, if you have a CO support order, going past 18. Then you must go to court to get it stopped becatse he's not a child anymore. He a BF. and husband
This is a gray area because
This is a gray area because it's not related to adult CS emancipation, but rather college contribution. There is nothing that says he can't be married and go to college on his parents' dimes, and your CO doesn't say anything to address it.
IMO, it is more likely that SS19 won't return to college after these big life events so you and DH may be off the hook. Do you have documentation stating that SS dropped out? If so, I'd hold onto that. If SS decides to re-enroll but doesn't inform/ask DH for help, is DH really on the hook? How have you had to pay up to this point? Or did the school just request the payment with no communication from SS or BM?
This is what I'd do. Document
This is what I'd do. Document as much as possible for now, funds provided for ss up until this point, births, marriages, dropping out of college, places of employment, salary (if possible), addresses, vehicles etc. Then I'd also keep note of how much contact he has with his dad.
Then I'd sit tight. If at a later stage he wants to go back to college and for some reason decides that he wants dad to pay, I'd flat out tell him no. If he wants to persue it he can take it to court and then hopfully you'll get a judge who lives in reality.
I would not necessarily waste time pursuing anything legal right now, when he may well never return to college or if he does foot the bill himself.
Do you have documentation
Demand grades and GPA too.
In case he does try to come back out of the woodwork demanding compensation for college education
Highlight him as someone who will waste money and needs a HIGH level of accountability if any money is ever to be paid out.
Insist his job - that he's using to take care of his family reimburse his tuition if he does decide to go back.
It's MUCH harder to get "extras" (above and beyond basic monthly child support) enforced so the leverage is in your husbands favor on this issue IMO
*consult with an experienced licensed attorney
He dropped out. Stand on that
He dropped out. Stand on that and provide no more money. Even if he goes back to school. No more money from daddy for the new daddy.
Congratulations on the SKid ending your financial support duty.
If in the future he goes back, say nothing, pay nothing. Make the kid engage a legal action and then go for his throat and motion to put your legal costs on him.
Decisions have consequences. Bad decisions my kidults should not be tolerated or supported by others. Particularly when those decisions are made by adults. Ostensibly, SS is an adult and if he can make the choice to dip his wick, he can live the consequences of that choice.
Good luck kid. Enjoy the baby.
IMHO of course.
I wish that I had solid
I wish that I had solid answers for you. Dh will have to take this back to court. Which really stinks.
You'd think because SS dipped out of college, SS no longer requires dh to help him cover college expenses because there are none.
It is cut and dry. Lets hope the court agrees.
I am sorry to read about everything else that has been going on with you.
Does anyone know if him
Typically students need to make certain GPA and be enrolled.
aDoesnt make fiscal sense to use resources on a failing dropout.
Um if he's grown enough to be out here creating his own family then he's grown enough to pay his, his baby moms, and his baby's way.
No man should have to support another man's household. That's asinine...
-*Im not a licensed lawyer though so consult with an attorney
I've heard of cases where
Biodad had to continue to financially support his adult skid and grandbaby! Absolutely atrocious but nothing surprises me in the legal circuits.
In this part of Kansas where SS lives, they do not consider the father necessary for anything but forking out money to the failed first family. Is the money going directly the college? If so, doesn't SS have access to that account and potentially drain it for non-college purposes?
My own separation agreement
My own separation agreement has several "child support termination" events listed in it... And having children and getting married are among the termination reasons stated. Also it's either turns 18 years old or has first college degree. So they'd have to be in school after 18. My husband no longer pays support for SS18 as he did not go to college.
I know it's more complicated, especially as it doesn't seem they have a court order however one would feel that is probably the norm in most cases.. However I see a lot of states handle things their own way...
I suppose you'd have to check with an attorney or state laws?
Read the CO. It should say.
Does anyone know if him dropping out lets us off the hook?
In the case of SS, he could nail the SpermIdiot for CS after age 18 or HS graduation (the later of) if he was a full time student in good standing with his University/College/Trade School until age 21. If those standards were not maintained, CS ended immediately. Drop below full time, drop out, or fail to maintain GPA standards. No more money.
If SS had kept them on the hook the CS would have remained the same with the change being that CS would go directly to SS instead of to the CP.
Read the CO and review the supplemental jursdictional rules. Post 18/HS graduation support is usually addressed in those documents.
I would think no DH is not
I would think no DH is not off the hook, just because SS is possibly married and allegedly has a baby does not mean that he can’t complete a college degree. In fact, where SS is living based off your past experiences with that court and that judge they would probably admonish your DH for not providing his son the ability to better himself for his new family. If anything, your DH is going to have to re-address this in court (but you shouldn’t do any of the work for him this time), or just let is go and see if SS even reaches out for tuition.