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So overwhelmed I can't even....

justmakingthebest's picture

2 big things happened in the last 18 hours....

1) The finalization of divorce for SO (5 years and counting...) was supposed to be done on Feb. 1. His attorney filed everything the judge told him he could file during the emergency hearing right before Christmas. Basically- Alimony done in March, we get yss spring break and "part of summer". That was what was under oath. As soon as that was processed we were going to re-file for modification. But this is the only way to close out and finalize the divorce. Well, apparently after her lawyer has refused any communication since November, they responded on Jan. 31st. Stating that they disagreed and he could only have the child when "the child's schedule allows and both parties agree". Also as far as medical goes, SO is responsible for health insurance and all cost and co-pays including but not limited to: hospital stays, orthodontics, optical, procedures, ambulance...etc". -- :jawdrop: PROCEDURES?!!?! WTF?? YSS wants a nose job? Maybe a little tummy tuck? Good lord... He is calling his lawyer today to discuss. We were told to file what was under oath by the judge. This is all bullshit.

2) We talked to the psychiatrist for OSS last night. She believes that OSS will never be able to live on his own. He shouldn't bother with college or vocational training. He should be limited to a job where he can work when he wants and leave when he wants. -- After that call, which somehow I held it together for, I asked SO what his thoughts were. He had my thoughts exactly- OSS is smart. He is capable. He has manipulated those around him to use his issues as a crutch to get out of what he doesn't want to do. The bright side is, with everything that his school counselor, IEP admin, and psych said= social security will be a breeze and we will have no problem getting him lots of support.

Here are my big fears- this divorce will never happen... He will have orders out of here in less than a year. I can't move unless we are married. I am also about 100% sure that with all of OSS issues and the struggles that we will have, orders will be for Japan. Because that will be when my ex fights it (rightfully so), that is when BM2 will never let him see YSS and OSS won't yet be approved for Social Security and we won't be able to claim emergency family considerations. I just need orders to be stateside. I need this divorce to be finalzed, I need to know what OSS actual limitations are (I realize that until he is in our home I won't know), I need a vacation!

On the bright side, my kids 2nd quarter grades were finalized- BS12 (all advanced classes) lowest grade was a 94.8, DD10 - all A's and B's - They are some awesome kids Smile

Comments

LuluOnce's picture

I saw that you have a lot of blogs up, but I haven't gone back and read them all. What state are you in? We're in California. My DH and his ex-wife had a horrible, contentious divorce that lasted 5+ years. However, he was able to file for divorce - and he was granted a divorce very quickly - separate from ever discussing custody, assets, alimony, etc. They spend another 4-5 years in court arguing over that (and they still do!) but the divorce was processed within 6-8 months. Is something like this not an option for you and your SO, so that you could get married and move with him when he gets orders?

justmakingthebest's picture

We are in VA and his ex filed in Kansas... That is 1/2 of the problem. They won't finalize the divorce until custody is settled and she won't ever settle custody.