Why does BM always blame DH for everything?
Does anyone else have this problem? The BM has been blaming DH for everything for years.
Just some of the things that he has "caused" are:
- Any bad behaviour by the 3 SSs
- Poor school results
- YSS mental health issues
- Her last divorce
She must be mad. She has sent ranting emails to DH over the years blaming him for this stuff. Luckily, he doesn't react and will only respond where necessary.
DH saw the boys for 24hrs every weekend. He was not the CP so couldn't do the daily parenting. (They are all adults now so no regular visits from OSS and MSS. Lucky me, YSS now lives with us) There is a limit to how much behavioural modification you can do one day a week.
And how he is supposed to have screwed up her last marriage is beyond me. Must be that DH has evil magic powers of distruction. Maybe he has mind control?
It's become a joke between DH and I. When anything goes wrong; weather, natural disaster, dinner gettign burnt, we laugh that he's responsible.
It used to drive me nuts but I'm over that now.
Is anyone else's BM crazy like this?
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tog, notasm, BeGoneSpawn - I
tog, notasm, BeGoneSpawn - I don't know whether to be glad I'm not the only one or be appauled that there are so many insane women out there in charge of raising kids. (Must remember to blame DH for climate change - LOL)
At this point, the text messages are pretty much consigned to comedy value only. But this constant pattern of blaming everyone else has contributed to the YSS mental issues which DH is try to help him to unpick/deal with now.
BeGoneSpawn - I am eternally grateful that she doesn't do drugs. I can't imagine letting that kind of crazy into my life in any way, shape or form.
YES! BM blames DH for: 1.)
YES! BM blames DH for:
1.) Splitting up with her when he caught her cheating 1st time around.
2.) Splitting up with her after he caught her cheating 2nd time around.
3.) Advising her that not to go to CSA as she would end up with less money, she chose to ignore him went to CSA and ended up with less than half of what she was getting before.
4.) Not phoning BM to remind her of SS soccer fixtures on HER weekends even though she has the exact same e-mails with all the info from the coach as DH.
5.) No longer saying "how high?" when she says "jump"
6.) No longer being able to manipulate DH & squeeze him over and beyond his CSA payments -oh actually she probably blames me for this lol.
OMG I forgot the CS stuff.
OMG I forgot the CS stuff.
When OSS aged out and YSS moved in with us, DH reduced CS in line with the rules. BM went nuts. She still gets about 75% of the old amount as its on a sliding scale but it is DH's fault she has less money. When MSD finishes college DH stops paying. That'll be in another year and half. I have no idea what she'll do at that point as it is a huge amount and while she has a job it is low paid. I guess we'll get another mad rant. She hasn't planned for this change at all. I guess she thinks she's entitled to be paid forever. As I said she a complete madder.
Bit of back history. YSS
Bit of back history.
YSS moved in at 16. He was failing school, just been diagnosed with epilepsy and having major issues. I told DH that I was prepared to let him move in and to turn him around at 16 but no way would I do it at 20+ when the rot really would have set in. BM was completely failing to cope with him.
There was no change in CO or any courts. YSS just came to live with us. DH stopped paying BM CS at that point.
He is now 19 and working full time in a great job with prospects. He's still living with us. There are ups and downs with his mental health but at least he's been molded into a contributing citizen. Compared to some of the skids I read about here he is a parigon of virtue. LOL
OSS's CS stopped at 18 when he finished education. He works but still lives with BM.
MSS is at university but still lives with BM. DH will pay CS until he has his primary degree.
Definitely! They are "HER"
Definitely! They are "HER" children...unless, of course, they have done something to piss her off. Then it is: "Do you know what YOUR son/daughter did??"