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Recent Blog Posts
We finally sent SS to live with his mom fulltime...as I predicted she went from psycho lady to all of a sudden being TOO nice. Which gives me the creeps. Is this normal? But then again she got her own way and is in control now so I expected her to be all nicey to us..Now she is calling and emailing on a daily basis about miniscule things and it irks me...but than again she's always been a codependent person, I wish she would find her own man to talk to..Half of the things she emails and calls about have nothing to do with SS.
This stuff is so hard. After a heart-breaking holiday where DH decided to spend Christmas with his GROWN kids (who ditched me when we started having trouble) rather than me (SD was with her mom), I have taken the hint and am leaving. It's pretty obvious now that he will never put our relationship first - even when SD graduates since the grown kids are here. And he acts surprised - he thought everything was going fine. As long as we only talk about the weather, it is fine! I am so angry, which is a sure sign to me that I am hurt to the core.
So.. it was only Thursday night.. and it has begun..
DH called to talk to the skids.. he gets off of the phone and then turns to me and says.. "oh.. by the way... BM said she would drop the skids off Friday night" (says Friday night like it wasnt the next day.. says Friday night as if that was what WE agreed to.. (also.. this is RARE that she would drive them to us... I can count on 1 hand the number of times she has driven her children to us in the 4.5 yrs I have known my DH))
So if you're not up to date on my situation. last weekend SS7 had called saying he hates coming here and is mom siad she not going to send him if he doens't want to come. So DH all week (SS is on winter break) I asked DH call see if we can get him for some of the holidays. DH was like I don't want to fight with BM. if SS doens't want to come thats fine. I'm like whatever. So last night DH calls BM, and asked to pick up SS tongith at 6 (court ordered vistiation) she says only if he wants to. So DH beggs to talk to SS on the phone and beggs him to come over. I'm just like this is ridiuculus!
I've been under a ton of stress at work lately -- I work for an incredible jerk. He owns the company, and so there's no "HR" to complain to. Besides, it's just... a steady stream of intimidation and humilation. I've lived through the same situation before, and the hours/commute/pay is good. In my line of work, it could be better, but it could also be a lot worse. So I really need to stay put for a while, but it is sometimes very costly, emotionally and psychologically.
So this whole pregnancy thing is not for me! ;)And I have until August! But seriously I think I am missing that gene that makes me feel all happy about having a child. Or maybe I'm just too stressed about SD and BM to enjoy it. I know BM is going to make my life hell when she finds out. SD is going to start hating us again because she is not ready for someone to take her attention. I dont know what to do! This is not how I envisioned my first pregnancy. Instead of being excited my husband and I are just stressed to the max.
My ss said the rudest thing to me tonight. I was in the kithchen looking at a magazine with sd when sd made a comment about an actress not being very pretty. I said I don't think she is ugly, she just looks average there. So my ss pipes up and says "oh like you?" How rude. Do 8 year olds really come up with that sort of thing? I didn't say anything to him but I felt that for whatever reason he was trying to make a real effort to get to me. He has never done anything like that before. In fact, I thought we were buddies.
For those of you who know about our troubles with the stepkids, a brief synops. DH has met with the counselor and BM to work towards fixing the relationship with the kids. They agreed to "have 3 good days" over the holidays instead of the regular 2 week visitation per the degree. The kids agreed to come over on the 26th, even though my last contact with SD was an email stating that I was not to write to her or respond to the email she wrote. I honored it, but it was difficult.
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To the ladies whose H's won't listen to you, who won't work with you, who totally treat you with disrespect... did you have any inkling that they were like that before you married them?
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