peachymom's Blog
Does my Daughter have a Brother???
I'm starting to wonder. SS8 hasn't been to our house the whole summer. the last time we saw him was the first week of July at DH parents house. I've tried calling but BM wont answer her phone. Even the week at DH was off of work and was home he called every day, DH got SS8 for one afternoon and took him to a football game. Ok i get it that DH is rarely home, but I do think it's important to SS and DD spend time together. She's only 16 months. It takes time for a bond to form, and if she never see him I don't think it's going to happen.
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Been a while
Ok it's been a while since I was on here, But I have a lot to Vent. SS7 is suppose to come here every Friday at 6 to Sunday till 6. But his dad works out of town. I've been pretty nice about BM keeping SS for the weekends while DH was gone. But when I had enroled SS in karate, I checked like 6 times with her, when I was thinking about it, when I found a good class, checked the dates with her 2 times, when I was on my way to enrole him, and the day after I ernroled him, to ensure that he would be able to make all the classes.
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First Councling session
So our first session went well. We were give a few things to work on our own. Therapist suggest that DH stay at his parents for longer than a week. So he will be there for the rest of the month. This will give us time to refocus. But on Sunday we have a "family dinner'" date with SS and DD. We have also talked to BM (vaguly) that we have having marital problems and are attending coucinling and it might be beiffecall for SS to come with us. BM said very clearly NO. Unfortanally I think SS needs it. He probably needs someone to talk to.
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Starting therapy tonight!
So DH came home yesterday afternoon. We where able to talk calmly about what happened. And have decided to attend counciling, both couple, and indivually. DH has also agreed to start going back to his CA meetings, and I'm going back to Allon meetings. So we have couples councling tonight, then I have see my therapist tomorrow, then DH on thursday, then CA and allon on Sunday nights. It's going to busy and take alot of work. But I'm hopeful we can save our relationhip. DH is also going to stay with his parents for the week. To give us some time apart.
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Don't know what to do!
Ok, so I'm so lost. DH just left with SS. We where watching a movie last night, I was feeding DD, and she spit up on me. I asked DH to get me a cloth to clean up. He said yeah in a minute. I go mad. Cuz thats what he does, just lays on the couch and watches tv. So I called him lazy and to get up, i was covered in milk. Well in turn he called me a C***. I hate that word, and he used to call me it all the time. So I smacked him. (Probably not the smartest thing) But I did. I had DD in my arms, when DH gets mad he gets really mad. So i tried to get up as quickly as I could do get upstairs.
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DH just gives in!
So if you're not up to date on my situation. last weekend SS7 had called saying he hates coming here and is mom siad she not going to send him if he doens't want to come. So DH all week (SS is on winter break) I asked DH call see if we can get him for some of the holidays. DH was like I don't want to fight with BM. if SS doens't want to come thats fine. I'm like whatever. So last night DH calls BM, and asked to pick up SS tongith at 6 (court ordered vistiation) she says only if he wants to. So DH beggs to talk to SS on the phone and beggs him to come over. I'm just like this is ridiuculus!
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WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So dh just called me from work. SS7 had called him crying. he said he doesn't want to come here anymore. that he's unhappy and all dh does is lay on the couch. and that he never wants to come back. this is totally untrue. he is always happy here. we had a great christmas. we even had a big christmas party on saturday with my family, where he got a bunch of gifts. my family treats him just like one of there own grandkids. BM said she not going to spend him if he's unhappy. but i'm like what? BM's mom is in town, and shes a complete bi***. so we are thinking this is a big show for her.
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School.
So last week, DH went to pick up his tickets for SS7 Christmas concert. While he was there the kids where just going to lunch, so he asked to see SS. Well I guess SS told his mom that DH was at the school. BM called the school and told them that DH is to have no contact with SS at the school what so ever. We found that out cuz DH called the school to see if there were any tickets left so his parents could also go to the concert. And the sectratery had said that DH is not alwolled to see SS with out concent from BM. That is so not right, they have shared cusidy and gaudianship.
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Sorry but this is how I feel.
I'm going to sound like a bitch, but for right now that's ok. In reading some replies, I hate hearing they are just kids, your the grown up. In here I vent things that I would never say to DH, SS, DD or BM. I have feelings that other people on here understand. Like I would never tell SS that the love I feel or DD is very different and much stronger. I would never call him a spoiled brat. Even though thats how I feel. But people come on here to make sure that they aren't crazy. And it's totally normal not to love or even like Skids. Or to have confilciting feelings about them.
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humph!
We have been thinking of moving, and having a nother baby in a few months. So this has been causing aurgments with DH. I figured we could get a three bedroom house and use on room for DD on room for new (hopefully) baby. no way we can afford a 4 bedroom. then set up SS almost 8 in the basment as long as it's devopet. When i wasd a kid i always wanted my own space and ussally got the basment. i thought it was cool. But DH says no that bio kids can share a room and SS can have a room all to him self. i would set up the basment really good. like my folks did.
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