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strugglingSM's Blog

I think SS has an eating disorder

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Mon, 03/14/2022 - 2:47am

Both BM and DH are large people. They both had weight loss surgery in the last years of their marriage. DH has been able to maintain about 140 lbs of weight lost since then (over a decade), but BM seems to have gained it all back. BM was always overweight, even in childhood. DH didn't gain weight until after high school. SS has always been told he takes after his mother's family and a year ago, after sports had been out of session for a bit, he had gained quite a bit of weight. Last summer (at age 15), he decided he wanted to lose weight.

DD has covid and BM makes it all about her

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Wed, 12/22/2021 - 12:33am

Our DD tested positive for covid this weekend. We were testing in anticipation of our first trip in two years. The same day we tested, we got an email about an outbreak at her daycare. We were shocked that she was positive because she has virtually no symptoms (she is still only slightly congested). We had to tell BM because SSs were with us on the day she tested positive. SSs are with MIL and have been since Saturday. They have all been testing daily and are negative. BM has sent five messages. To summarize: 

MIL and her knack for ruining a step christmas

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Sat, 12/11/2021 - 6:48pm

So, MIL again makes her attempt at Christmas plans that totally ignore anything about our schedule or DH's time with skids. She even includes Skids on the text when she tells everyone that she will take them to the family cabin on DH's next weekend (we can't go because DH has a work meeting on Saturday and then we fly out Monday morning) without saying anything to DH about it first.

Already over Thanksgiving

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Wed, 11/24/2021 - 1:59am

In early October, one SS called DH to ask if he could go to California to spend Thanksgiving with his grandparents, even though it's his year to be with DH. In response, DH sends a message to BM via OFW saying, "SS asked me if he could go to California for Thanksgiving. Please confirm." BM sends 9 paragraphs in response about how it was just SS's idea and she doesn't even know if her parents will be in California...and on and on and on about nothing.

BM ignores the agreement and SS is the next Tiger Woods

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 09/24/2021 - 1:42am

Tonight, SS calls DH and asks if he can pick them up tomorrow for visitation weekend. If anyone has read my past blogs, they know that BM is supposed to drive SSs to our house on the Friday of visitation weekends, but always has some excuse as to why she can't or some reason why she thinks DH should pick them up. With all this in mind, DH tells SS, "I can't, but your mother can just bring you by later." SS replies that she can't because she left for Mexico that morning.

Do kids ever see HCBM as the problem?

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Sun, 08/29/2021 - 9:38am

So, if you read my last blog you know that BM tried to stir up drama about DH taking the kids driving. Fast forward to this weekend and one Skid shows up and says to DH, "aren't you going to take us driving, Dad? That's part of parenting, Dad!" And he kept going on and on until DH got mad at him. Later, DH talked to both skids. He told them that their mother did not dictate what goes on in our house, that it wasn't any of her business what went on in our house, and he was sick of both of them causing drama by reporting everything back to BM.

Skids apparently have a right to drive my car

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Mon, 08/16/2021 - 11:47pm

Today, BM sends DH an email via OFW. 
 

"You told me you would teach the boys how to drive. They are now telling me that your wife is refusing to allow it. They have just started drivers ed and the school says they need to get as much practice as possible. Please confirm with me that this is true."

BM-speak - “co-parenting” = do whatever I demand

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Thu, 08/12/2021 - 4:25pm

If you have read any of my other blogs, you know that BM regularly tries to get out of dropping skids off on visition weekends (which is her one obligation under the CO). Now that she has a boyfriend (soon to be husband #3?), she has doubled-down on getting out of this requirement.

Yesterday, she texts DH and says, "can we switch pick up and drop off this weekend?" DH replies, "I can't, but it's fine if you drop them off later." This should address BM's issue because she always claims she can't get out of work on time to get skids to our house by 6pm. 
 

Ugh - MIL and guilt trips

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 07/16/2021 - 6:26pm

So, DH hasn't seen SSs since June becuse first BM planned her vacation over his weekend and then when they returned from that, MIL whisked them off for two weeks with her. 

Today, MIL texts DH and says, "overly dramatic SS says he hasn't seen you in over a month. You need to plan a special outing with them when they get home." Why does everything always have to be a "special outing"? Also, why does DH have to make up for BM and MIL's penchant for scheduling over DH's time?

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