Skids are almost 17. DH has told them that he knows they have plans with friends and despite the fact that he wants to see them, he will understand if they choose not to come on weekends. One texted on Friday and said he was working both days (it's a 20-30 minute drive each way), so wouldn't be coming. DH told him that was okay. 

DH has a younger sister who has always been the princess of the family. She is in her 40s and I always thought she was opposed to marriage, but apparently, her SO of 5 years proposed and she is getting married in June (not sure why so soon...that seems quick to plan a wedding, especially since she lives in a foreign country). 

Last weekend was DH's weekend with skids, but we had a family event out of state, so DH decided he would just skip his weekend. For context, SSs are nearing 17, so when they do come to our house, they mostly hang out in their rooms or go out with friends. They will sometimes eat dinner with us, one will play with DD a bit, and sometimes watch a movie with DH. DH sometimes plans things to do, but often we just have a regular weekend with chores, errands, or recovering from the work week. DH told SSs that he wasn't going to be around and both said "ok".

SSs are passive participants at best in planning their education. BM is clueless and I think assumes (correctly in most cases) that she can just go in screaming or crying to the guidance counselor and change things after the fact. If DH expresses an opinion, he is told he is making the kids feel bad...most information is kept from him and despite updating his address in the system and talking to the school multiple times, he rarely gets any info directly from the school....so, he's backed out of any involvement.