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Hi I am new to this site, and I was searching for a site on how to help deal with an ex wife. I have been married for 5 years and have to stepchildren one is 12 the other is 13.
A year ago the ex-wife moved out of her parents house and now lives on her own, every since then she calls him to go over and help around the house, fix the dishwasher, thermostat, her car, move furniture, pick up and deliver furniture. etc...
I think I'm a crazy grown-up. I have 4 sons, a SS, and a SD. My SS is always around, sometimes he can be a pain, but is respectful and listens to me. My SD, 7, is so-so. She can be a sweety and a little monster, I say that with love. She's really a gorgeous little girl, looks just like my DH. That's good and bad. Good cuz she's cute, bad cuz she's not mine. 
Lately, she has tested me everytime she comes over (Tues and Thurs evening and Sat. night).
Lately I'm at my wits end with things that have been going on. I am dissapointed in myself for feeling this way, but I think I need to take a big step back in my role as a stepmom. I have had a few things come up w/ my skids, one w/ my SD. that I posted about already, she only wants to be here when her dad is home, and not "left" with me...??? That issue has resolved itself some, new issue is w/ SS.
So my BF cousins GF just had a baby girl...yahoo.My BF other cousin is still friends with BF ex so they were talking about the new baby.The ex asks if there will be a baby shower and says she would love to come.First of all the ex isn't even friends with the one who had the baby...actually last time I talked to babies Mom she hated the ex.So iget a phone call today from my MIL saying that the ex may be at the shower...how did I feel about that?I told her I wasn't very comfortable around her but also mature enough to deal with it.Then I told her I was a little shocked that she might be there
I am a stepmother of 5 children varying in age from 15 to 27. When I first came into their lives the youngest was 6 and the oldest was 19. During my tenure as a stepmom I have encountered all manner of situations. I have started visiting step parenting sites because I am in the process of writing a book for step mothers. I am curious about the focus of many of these forums. It seems that the focus is on "venting", relieving stress, dealing with out of control people, and various other issues that do not focus upon the person typing.
Well, before the New Year things seemed to be going somewhat all right.....SS was coming over about 2 days a week with one overnight for several weeks in a row!! :o This was a record folks!
But, now visits have dropped back to about 9 hours each week. And now, BM is starting in with her normal crap again~ she sent my DH an email informing him about SS's IEP (school appointment). They want both parents to be there ideally, and she said she needs to know if he's coming so she can tell the teachers who will be there.
I guess statistics say that 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages. As a woman married to a man with a son from a previous marriage I know why that is true.
Nevertheless, my husband is such a difficult man that even if this were his first marriage we'd probably be having problems.
Right now I am having fantasies of leaving. He is so darn resentful of having to work to support a family. He is angry at me for a reason I cannot write about, even tho this is anonymous. He feels I have ruined our family.
I know for a fact that my mother in law, sister in law are still in good relationship w/biomom behind my back. Why then do they still act like they support me when I complain about this woman? But behind the scene they talk to this woman and maintain a good relationship w/her? I thought that once divorce is final no more contact w/ex families period? I feel so stupid for telling them what we have gone through w/this woman knowing now that they are friends w/her. I don't feel like visiting them anymore. Please give me your input on this, I would really appreciate it.
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