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I've been talking to a counselor on and off to try and help me figure out, not so much how to deal with the situation I'm in, but how I got into it in the first place....
Anyway, one of the things I have a tendency to do, which based on some of the blogs I've been reading, I'm not the only one....is to do too much or feel guilty about not doing enough to the point of exhaustion.
This isn't really a step issue, but a divorced dealing with my own ex and the kids issues. Its a bit long to explain, but I could sure use some good advice.
I don't know where else to turn you guys! I'm so frustrated I've almost been brought to tears twice.
First, I'm sorry I haven't posted the last couple of days ... Thursday is date night and today I was just busy working, but I will get to everyone's stuff tonight, I promise.
This is long, and for that I apologize. I just have so much to angst and no where to vent.
First, I have to ask all the step-moms out there and girlfriends who are in the step-mom role: has something so awful happened with your SK(s) and your BF/DH reaction to it (or, in my case, lack thereof) that you are so incredulous and ashamed you didn't do anything about it and that you don't tell a single soul? Besides venting here? That is the situation I am in.
The last post I posted said how wonderful everything was going here. Well, the beginning of this week marks the worst days of being a step parent thus far. Bear with me because I am still trying to wrap my mind around this myself.
OK folks, bear with me. Much rage, small keyboard, horrible, evil, manipulative BM!
She has no sense of boundaries whatsoever! Although there are several years of history that set me up for the heightened annoyance but in the last 24 hours, she has:
Hello I am new here and I need some help or just someone to listen and give support or understanding. I have a stepson and at times I feel like I am the only one who cares and it is so fusterating. DH pretty much only talks to him if he has too, otherwise he just lets him do whatever he wants, so he ends up playing video games and watching TV all day long, and when he visits BM she sleeps all day or is on the computer (she does not have a job), so she lets him do whatever he wants too (this is what he tells me). I feel like I am the only one who gives him structure.
The mediator hasn't filed her report yet but DH and BM have agreed to start the new 50/50 custody arrangement Sept. 1. It is just in time as SS and SD are increasingly frustrated with not being here very often, which feels good. Next Saturday DH and kids and I are leaving for a two week vacation and the visitation change will start right when we get back. We will have the kids every Wednesday and Thursday and every other Fri-Sat-Sun (a standard 2-2-5 schedule), and DH and BM have worked out all of the holidays and submitted the form to the mediator.
Of course I find this site the day before my two SDs go back home. I have been reading everyone's blogs and I feel like I'm not alone anymore. It is hard to find friends who understand because usually your girlfriends only understand the BM side of it from having their own kids. No one else I know is a stepmom. My husband and I have been married now for 5 years and he has two daughters, 12 and 9. It was a particularly difficult summer for me, and probably them. We spent the summer in a small apartment so there was no space for me/them to get away from eachother when needed.
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