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Hello I am new here and I need some help or just someone to listen and give support or understanding. I have a stepson and at times I feel like I am the only one who cares and it is so fusterating. DH pretty much only talks to him if he has too, otherwise he just lets him do whatever he wants, so he ends up playing video games and watching TV all day long, and when he visits BM she sleeps all day or is on the computer (she does not have a job), so she lets him do whatever he wants too (this is what he tells me). I feel like I am the only one who gives him structure.
The mediator hasn't filed her report yet but DH and BM have agreed to start the new 50/50 custody arrangement Sept. 1. It is just in time as SS and SD are increasingly frustrated with not being here very often, which feels good. Next Saturday DH and kids and I are leaving for a two week vacation and the visitation change will start right when we get back. We will have the kids every Wednesday and Thursday and every other Fri-Sat-Sun (a standard 2-2-5 schedule), and DH and BM have worked out all of the holidays and submitted the form to the mediator.
Of course I find this site the day before my two SDs go back home. I have been reading everyone's blogs and I feel like I'm not alone anymore. It is hard to find friends who understand because usually your girlfriends only understand the BM side of it from having their own kids. No one else I know is a stepmom. My husband and I have been married now for 5 years and he has two daughters, 12 and 9. It was a particularly difficult summer for me, and probably them. We spent the summer in a small apartment so there was no space for me/them to get away from eachother when needed.
My fiance has been calling for the past 4 days to talk to his son and there is no answer at the EW house. He has left a message each time and still there has been no call back to us. He was refused his visitation weekend last weekend and we reported a complaint of parent alienation to the attorney generals office about it so there would be something in the file. I have gone over the custody papers like you wouldn't believe looking for something that we can back ourselves with on this phone thing.
I married a wonderful man 2 years ago, that I have known for 30 years or more. When we married I had two children and he has two children,he has custody two. So, we Blended....No one told me that this was going to be tough! Like, the lady who was talking about her Evil SD. I have one that is the about the same way.
I tried to post this before but I don't know where it went, so I am going to try again. I have been married to my husband for 8 years we have been together for 10, he has been divorced from bm for 14 years. They have a 15 almost 16 year daughter together. The thing is,is that bm thinks she can tells us what to do and when to do it. We bought a new car about a month ago and sd comes over and sees it noone says anything about it and then we get this "hate letter" from bm in the mail a week later.
These are KIDS, living in difficult situations that they doesn't understand and can't control and very likely HATE. Why is it such a suprise that these kids act out and misbehave when they are allowed to VISIT their other parent? Not to make this a personal attack on anyone, but I do find it disappointing and disturbing that so many step parents and bio-parents give up on these kids because they're a pain in the ass. I know some of the kids have legitimately diagnosed mental/emotional disorders, which makes the challenge feel enormous, but they're still KIDS.
Once again....if you have stumbled onto this site and found this blog, it won't make a lot of sense because I've done it in sections.
*sigh* OK.
I have decided to start a list. This is easier, and most of you have the basic idea of how things started for her and for me, and how we ended up together because of a mutual love of her dad.
SO (he becomes my husband later) and I bought a house. We all moved in. This was in the year...oh, I guess it was June of 2001?
well i have been talking to as many people as i can in regards to the issues with my step daughter and heard some great ideas.
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