Single Fathers
I was just wondering if they are any single fathers active on her.
My husband was a single father for a little over a year. He greatly struggled, but would never admit to it. He said it was so strange that women never looked at him twice, but as soon as he became a single father, he had women hitting him up constantly. They pitied him yet also fancied him. He received such praise whenever he was out alone with his children - told he was so strong, so brave, look at you raising these children all by yourself. It made him feel awkward, because no one really praises single mothers the same way. He's also received an enormous amount of praise for being a father with sole custody of his children. People will marvel at him and act like he's some kind of superhero, which he hates with a passion. He gently reminds him that if he had truly been single, it might not have happened as quickly. It is rare, but he doesn't deserve to be put on some kind of pedestal. And even now - after we've been together for nearly a decade - his old friends will rave about him raising those children alone, how hard, how brave and strong you were. And he just shakes his head. He wasn't even a single father for that long, he says. He was just doing what needed to be done at the time. He's told me repeatedly he doesn't know how single mothers turn it, because society always seems to shame them and turn their back on them, but he was praised constantly.
All a dad has to do is keep
All a dad has to do is keep the kids alive and he's "amazing" lol. I think a lot of posters here fell for that illusion, and look how happy of a bunch this is!
I kind of look at it this way - what kind of judgement does he have if he had not one but multiple children with an unfit mother? Or worse, several unfit mothers?! Not every case is that way, sometimes the mother has died or changed after the kids were born. Still, though, the "amazing dad" type is often fool's gold and a recipe for drama.
I agree with your statement!
I agree with your statement! They do the bare minimum and are praised. It's strange, also, because he said no one hardly asked where the BM was. But if the situation was reversed, he was sure total strangers would ask "Well, where's the father?" Such a double standard.
My husband was a single dad after the divorce in 2009
As biomum told courts she didn't want 3 kids, too much work but she did want maximum cs and cash money assets from hubby but do fuc* all!!
ss was 11 at the time and judge asked him who he wanted to live with and he said dad. Biomum refused to take him at visitation. She spent aftermath harassing coworkers of hubby and his family with bullshit nonsense about hubby.
after the divorce hubby was set up by mutual friends with 2 girls, both were actively cheating, having affairs, one claimed she had not enough money to buy diapers/milk etc and because my husband is well off, he gave some money only to find out she took her affair guy on a holiday fully funded by my husband
gf #2 when hubby got admitted to hospital, he had asked his elder brother park his car at hospital. The gf told the brother she would bring it to my husband, she didn't and took off with it and went no contact for days. Hubby told her she had 1 hr to deliver it to him in hospital or he'd report her with theft of his car and she'd be going to jail. This gf also having an affair behind my husbands back. She rocks up to hospital carpark with his car begging to be his gf again and she was so sorry. He told her to go to hell.
having a kid did nothing for him in ladies dept, all the previous girls were gold digging whores
That is terrible! So sorry
That is terrible! So sorry for such a bad experience.
DH told me that most of the girls that flirted with him while he was a single father just wanted to sleep with him. They didn't want an actual relationship, didn't want an actual date, just a quick romp in his bed every now and again. Not one even wanted to spend time with his children and some didn't even acknowledge the kids, even though they sung his praises for being a single father?
Hubby’s ex gf after divorce
Basically treated him like a sugar daddy.
Each one of the 2 that he brought to meet his parents or went out with him dressed modestly and conservatively, put on the fake show for his family. for the first ex, one of my husbands friends had a late night dinner meeting, sees a girl come out of a nightclub dressed very skanky and with another man and realised it was her
Now my husband is a senior banker in Asia, they can get fired or reprimanded if there is a bad image or scandal in their personal life etc. They're held to a higher standard. His friend meets up the next day and just says I don't want to cause any issues but you need to know it was her and she was with another man, she's definitely cheating on you.
my husband confronted her and she claimed it wasn't her and it must be someone else. My husband calls his friend and tells him next time you see this, call him no matter what time. Friend sees her again at a nightclub, my husband came at 3am and ended the relationship, she had no remorse for the cheating
after that my sil tried to set him up, he refused every single one and said he'd never date an asian woman in their country, they're all the same. He wanted to marry a caucasian western woman. His dad told him not to talk bullshit. Barely several weeks later a mutual friend introduced us. Its a funny story in the family coz they never thought it would happen
I dont see that current
I dont see that current society shames single mothers. It's not the 1960's. Around here they get free or discounted services when they do the poor single mother plead for help on social media. They feel sorry for them.
My DH gets flirted with without children in tow because he has pretty eyes. I'm a late in life mother so most people think our daughter is our granddaughter so we have not experienced the over stepping mothering stranger yet.
I believe the shame isn't in
I believe the shame isn't in your face, but it's still there. In my town, single mothers are looked down on. But single fathers are on a pedestal and nothing can make them fall. It's kind of ridiculous.
My DH is always getting flirted with whenever we go out because of his eyes and he just has one of those very charasmatic personalities - he is definitely a people person. It's like I suddenly become invisible. I have a very young face, so people have thought SD and SS were my siblings, or a few times they thought I was the teenage babysitter!
Well, around here it isn't
Well, around here it isn't shameful nor should it be. 62% of babies are born to single mothers in France ...
Lol. I had that issue much
Lol. I had that issue much of my life. My parents had me at 19&21 (Mom and Dad) and my mom and I got the scowling look until I was in my 30s of them thinking I was her BF rather than her son. I used a fairly loud voice when we were getting the hairy eyeball to make sure those with issues clearly understood that she is my mother.
I looked younger than my age when DW and I married. I was 30 and she was 18. We met the last semester of my 11yr Undergrad career and her first semester out HS. We are 11.5 year apart.
She and our son (My SS-29 who asked me to adopt him 7 years ago) have the same problem my mom and I had. She had SS when she was 16.
As for single dads being Cannonised while single moms are Demonized... Sady that seems to be the prevelant position that occurs. My amazing single teen mom bride is a Saint. The Spermidiot is a POS who should be the prison bicycle. Fortunately in his case, his POS status is broadly known and he is no longer quite as dangerous to the young teen potential womb donors that he once was.
I guess it's different in my
I guess it's different in my state. There is a ton of resources for single mothers to use or take advantage of here. Our state is supportive of mothers being unemployed "to stay home with children". They don't have to spend their own money to support their kids. (Yes, my eyes just did a triple roll).
My gripe is our society defaults that all mothers are good mothers. And the kids are best being home with them 24/7. They forget the mentally ill, addicts, selfish, and abusive come in the female form too. If a nut job woman kills a man it must of been the man's fault. If a negligent mother causes her child's death, don't charge her she's been through enough. The last 2 sentences refer to crimes committed by single mothers in my area and there was some public outcry they shouldn't be held accountable for their crimes.