You are here

Hastings's Blog

Funeral update

Hastings's picture

Submitted by Hastings on Sat, 01/06/2024 - 8:42am

Just to update, we ended up not taking SS13 to my grandmother's funeral. He was better, but still coughing a lot so DH decided it was best to leave him in school.

1) Last thing you want in a solemn service is loud coughing fits.

2) The internment was short, but involved being outside in windy, 33-degree weather with sleet. Not ideal for someone just getting over the flu.

Family Funeral and Skid

Hastings's picture

Submitted by Hastings on Tue, 01/02/2024 - 10:30am

My beloved grandmother passed away early Sunday morning at age 93. She and I were always incredibly close, but at the same time, she had deteriorated significantly both physically and mentally, so I had time to prepare. It was time. She was ready and had been, really, since my grandfather's death 10 years ago.

Naturally, funerals bring up a lot of emotions and complications. For us, the question has come up about SS13. Do we bring him?

Poor widdle prince

Hastings's picture

Submitted by Hastings on Sun, 12/17/2023 - 8:41pm

Usually SS12 (nearly 13) is with us noon Sunday until noon the next Sunday, but there's the occasional adjustment to accommodate trips or to make holidays fall correctly. They usually make it up somehow. Last month, BM got him a day early for their Thanksgiving trip to Disney. So, this time, he's with us an extra night.

Christmas stress and angst - right on cue

Hastings's picture

Submitted by Hastings on Wed, 12/06/2023 - 9:36am

Things have gradually gotten better with DH. He's more willing to stand his ground when it comes to SS12 breaking rules, lying, etc. He's also become more practical when it comes to SS and his growing preference for BM.

But this time of year is tough. He's starting to lapse back into the "have we done enough gift-wise for SS? BM and her parents are going to spend thousands of dollars on him for Christmas and his birthday and I'm sick of them always winning."

Sometimes I just want to throw something at him

Hastings's picture

Submitted by Hastings on Thu, 11/30/2023 - 10:37am

I don't have a lot of experience with almost-teen boys, so this may be normal behavior. Regardless, it's starting to really piss me off.

SS12 (almost 13) likes to make sarcastic, mean comments about people -- not ones he's with, necessarily. He'll talk poorly about the school bus driver, how she's just old and mean and they all hate her. (From the sounds of it, she enforces rules and won't let them behave like hooligans. She's not a dragon lady.) DH tries to head him off a bit, reinforcing that regardless of what he thinks, he needs to behave and be polite to people.

And so it ends (and begins)

Hastings's picture

Submitted by Hastings on Sun, 11/26/2023 - 10:00am

Well, it was nice while it lasted. A week with minimal work and no SS12. But now it's back to real life. BM is dropping him off later this afternoon. DH is already getting moody because he's got a list of stuff he's going to have to address. (Last weekend he found clean and dirty clothing stuffed in a bathroom cabinet, empty drink cans hidden in a dresser drawer along with food wrappers, endless junk under the bed when he'd been told to clean it out.)

Kids choose — insight from my therapist

Hastings's picture

Submitted by Hastings on Mon, 11/20/2023 - 8:06am

This should probably have been obvious, but it kind of helped me to have it spelled out.

I share stuff about our SS frustrations with my therapist (I struggled with some things a few years ago and find monthly "maintenance") helpful. Last time, she said kids can and should adjust to different rules at different places. It shouldn't be something, particularly for a kid who's nearly 13, that's too much to ask.

Undermined again

Hastings's picture

Submitted by Hastings on Sat, 10/21/2023 - 11:51am

For some reason, all the kids at SS12's school get free lunch and breakfast (this is a very nice part of town, so it's hard to believe a big percentage of kids there are eligible -- which is the threshold for everyone to get it free -- but, whatever). SS eats a school lunch every day. While the lunch is free, there is other stuff you can purchase through your school dining account -- cookies, chips, special drinks, frozen yogurt, etc. DH keeps the account funded.

Pages