Am I over thinking this whole thing?
Hey all, I'll try to give the short version. I have a history of over thinking and over complicating things and this situation is starting to freak me out because of it to the point where I'm becoming unhappy being in the dark about things. Please let me know if I'm out of line and should be more patient or my feelings are valid here.
My mil passed away suddenly on feb 1. I offered us all to move in with him shortly after because we are there with him every single night with fil so he isn't lonely. Me, DH, 2sds, and DS will have upstairs and we will build a room onto the office downstairs so he can have his own space.
Our plan was to buy the house from him so that we feel like it's ours and not moving home, and so the inheritance can be split fairly. All he would do is pay rent to us.
FIL said there's only 5 years left on the loan (130,000), and we could just pay the rest and assuming you take care of me then the house is yours. Now, the build is going to cost 46,000 and he might use her life insurance for it. It's like geez what will we pay for??? I feel like money = power in this situation and it won't feel like our home unless we are paying our fair share.
Our plans were to buy a house of our own, do with it as we please and if we don't pay much then how can we feel comfortable to move all our crap in to the living area and take his decor down to put some of our things up?
I'm freaked out because we don't talk about any of it really. What kind of ownership we will have in the house... I know now he wants to avoid refinancing at all costs... So he'd better agree to put both of our names on the deed. This should avoid complications with his brothers after he dies but also just because we want to freaking own a home. I want to know how all of this is going to go down, establish clear guidelines, rules for the home,etc. I'm very detailed. My Dh and his dad are the same person!!! Now I'm realizing im going to live with two of my DH and it's making me nervous as fuck.
I'm freaking out that he's telling everyone, when I don't even know what I'm getting into in regard to ownership. What if I dont agree with the terms? What if I want to back out because of it and own my own home?
Would that make me a bad person. He's 69, still moving, not sick, he could live a long time. Technically two cancers that have never been active but this depression could make him sick which is why I offered.
I didn't offer just so I could have no say in anything.
DH isnt doing anything. He argues with me when I talk about this as if I don't know what I'm talking about or over thinking the situation and the answers will come but fil is telling everyone and talking to contractors so I think now is the time to figure it out, don't u think??