Would you hang a Father's Day picture that bm made?
Bm gave a poem with their footprints on it, framed to dh from the girls and the girls want to hang it. The girls said their mom did everything, painted, she hand wrote it everything. Every time We walk by it, we will think of her. Bm hates me by the way and we recently had a fight and it's no surprise she is trying to piss me off.
The poem is "walk a little slower daddy" I wonder if it means something.
It's so frustrating. He offered to put it in their room. Then I offered to put it in the hall but that is right in the view where I see when I lay in bed watching tv on the left, so I can't win. She's everywhere I go.
Would you allow it?
Exactly - in THEIR room only.
Exactly - in THEIR room only.
Yup. Only in their room.
Yup. Only in their room. Nowhere else!
Oh man. I don't know. I
Oh man. I don't know. I would be torn on this one. I wouldn't want to hurt the girls' feelings, however, I would not want anything produced by BM hanging in my home. Does he have an office he can hang it in at work so you don't have to see it?
Oh, I love this idea! Does
Oh, I love this idea! Does he even have a "pretend office" he can claim he's taking it to hang it there?
Dude he works in management
Dude he works in management in retail. No office hahah. No office at home either.
Yes, a pretend office. He
Yes, a pretend office. He can say he is taking it to work so he can see it all day long.
Ooh tough one. BM would never
Ooh tough one. BM would never do this and I know DH would toss it if she did. I would put it in their room or something. If DH didn't toss it.
Girls room. Or Dad takes it
Girls room. Or Dad takes it to office. He can keep it in a drawer there and put it on his desk if girls show up to office for any reason.
Also, dream up your own
Also, dream up your own sickly sweet project you can make and send it back with girls for mom's house. Make sure you drill it in to girl's heads about you doing it. Maybe even sign it.
Maybe mom will figure out not to do it again.
oooh, yes....it's not too
oooh, yes....it's not too soon to think about the holidays, is it? Trace their hands and turn them into turkeys then frame that shit and send it on over...and make sure it's obvious that YOU did it.
The kids don't get to dictate
The kids don't get to dictate how you decorate your home. It either goes in their room OR it doesn't go up. I'd be bitchy enough to put it up then say it "fell" while they were away and the "frame broke" so it's "down for now" (Translation, of course, is "I smashed that shit when you weren't here and I'm only hanging on to it until you forget about it then it's going in the trash where it belongs") If the kids made it themselves, sure, hang the stupid thing up until you can get away with removng it...but when it's a BM art project? Screw that.
I actually daydreamed about
I actually daydreamed about this. Lol!
Wow a lot of ppl think their
Wow a lot of ppl think their room. I was worried the girls would be offended their gift put in their room would be an insult since we have empty walls. Should he talk to them about it? Explain it? Should he talk to bm?
I would not explain it to the
I would not explain it to the girls. They sound too young. They will just feel rejected.
He may, on the other hand, want to start talking at random moments about how much it means to him when THEY PERSONALLY choose or create the gift with their OWN hands.
Put it in their room boldly and cheerfully as if this is of course the natural place to put it where they can proud of it/reminded how much daddy loves them/blablabla. Just think of some rhetoric like that, it'll be fine, if even necessary at all. If asked why not daddy's room (I don't see them bringing it up but just in case) say this item is about you having a great father so it goes in your room! DH is not my father so it doesn't go in my room.
Retail? He can still take it there. Keep it in his locker or under the counter or break room. One day the break room bulletin board gets cleaned. Ooops! Ah, well, look forward to your gift next year that came from YOUR hands!
With her wedding dress?? OMG,
With her wedding dress?? OMG, that abomination would have been at Good Will ASAP.
What a fucking nightmare!
What a fucking nightmare!
You are nicer than me.
You are nicer than me. Whenever BM and child bring a present for my DH it goes in a box in the closet and I always tell him to tell her to stop.
I think this is a good idea!
I think this is a good idea! It can prob go in a box with their keep sakes like art work from school
I wish he would set
I wish he would set boundaries. I beg him to, but he doesn't because he says "it's pointless to try, because she won't listen, it won't change anything" because she will continue to do what she does.
But I'm so affected by each and every incident.
He is missing the point and
He is missing the point and YOU need to make it clear this is a none-negotiable...its not about getting her to listen or change, ofcourse she wont listen or change ffs so its pointless to try that (in fact it can actually gleefully encourage their meddling if they know its going down like a turd in your bath). What he needs to understand is HE needs to change his own acceptance, management of the ex. So instead of sweeping it under the carpet, esp if something bm is doing is designed to offend, intercede in your home while sticking one to you and perhaps dh, he should acknowledge her inappropriateness to you privately (so you dont feel marooned on a desert island invested with sharks) and really nicely encourage the girls to make these things themselves, while silently losing bms helpful gift and or get you to repay the favour in kind }:)
Fuck no I wouldn't hang it. H
Fuck no I wouldn't hang it. H x sent pictures of his daughter and her sister, same pictures of a day they all took ( I saw on sd Facebook) which was their memories. Those pictures are still In h truck, slammed all wrinkled in glove compartment. It's appreciated if they made it of a memory of us, not their BM because she doesn't run in our circle. Now I'm not gonna be too petty so they do have a blanket and a pillow I. The room that came from their BM house. I try to pick and choose my battles. In time you can let it can play it off and let it fall and break lol
Thank you all. After 6 years
Thank you all. After 6 years I'm so done.
Bm wins. I'm telling dh today that either he takes control or I'm leaving him. I can't do this anymore. He's controlled by her still and I'm suffering.
I keep thinking it will
I keep thinking it will change, after every conversation we have about it over the years, we fight and make up and love each other but love isn't enough. I learned that from my first husband.
I can't be miserable right? 9 more years until youngest is 18 and then who knows there could be adult SD issues and bm issues. My son and future kids will be older and know what's going on
I just told him and the
I just told him and the conversation didn't go over so well. Hefuckin threw the picture on the ground (it didn't break tho that shit is legit) and told me if I leave him he's keeping the apartment. Asshole
Sorry you're going through
Sorry you're going through this, counseling.advocate. Make yourself happy. Life is too short.
If the picture didn't break
If the picture didn't break then put it up and break it..lol it's just a thing , material. Your feelings and the way he is going about it is a scar on Your heart that can't be repaired, only patched. He is choosing another womans feelings over you. Kids will adjust! F no he can't have the apartment, not without a fight. He needs to figure out how he is going to make you happy by placing boundaries. Like I said, kids will adjust.
I would give it to the
I would give it to the children. They can decide where to put it. I don't want the children's reminders in my space.
They can keep it in their rooms or in a keepsake box.