If you do not get upset, offended, she cannot get a rise out of you, and you remain calm and have a sense of humor when she says those things, she will eventually stop. Of course her mother has everything to do with that. No seven year old comes up with that on her own. Also, if she says something you just can't play off, I find that standing up very calmly, looking down at the offending child and saying very calmly "That was very rude (mean/unkind/whatever), let's go tell daddy what you told me", that my ss6 starts apologizing very quickly and the behaviour stops pretty quickly (daddy's the disciplinarian in our family. if you go to daddy, youre in trouble). Of course you have to follow through and have the little convict (kidding) tell daddy themselves what they said to you and daddy has to act highly shocked and upset and follow through with a punishment. That shows the kids that daddy is backing you up. Which is good. Have strength. Eliminate any personal contact with bm. Buy some parenting books about seven year olds, if you can find some specifically about girls that's even better. Browse amazon's parenting section; they have some good stuff. It will give you a frame of reference for what normal seven year old girl behaviour is (obviously it's not being rude to adults). While you are purchasing those books, check out stepmonster, divorce poison, and no ones the bitch. Those three are really excellent blended family/stepmom books. There are many many more, too. (I'm a big fan of books). Take care of yourself - take bubble baths, keep up with your friends, do what makes you happy and relaxed. Being a stepmom is inherently stressful. Enjoy your new husband : ) .