TryingSoHard's Blog
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner! (or Ex-Wife Invited to Thanksgiving... AGAIN)
Hi everyone,
First, a little background, since I haven't posted in a while. My fiancé has been divorced twice. The first divorce was after fourteen years of marriage (basically arranged by his parents when he was twenty-one). He left the marriage twice before finally divorcing her for good. The second divorce was a three-year horrendous and abusive shotgun marriage.
"Family" Event tonight. How to deal?
I haven't posted in a while. I've missed you all!
SD has a big event coming up. Naturally, her dad wants to be there and so do I. We've all but cut ties to SO's family because of their repeatedly unkind behavior toward me and because of their obvious and insulting preference for BM over their own son and over me. Example: In laws spent Christmas at BM's (she lives in the same town we do and the in-laws live hours away) and instructed the kids to lie to us about it (just one example of many).
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SD Spent the Night in Jail
...for drug possession.
I knew this would happen.
Of course, BM bailed her out. Just opened her little wallet right up and cleaned up after SD, just like every other time SD screwed up. And no, it was not cheap.
Since SD doesn't live here anymore, I don't have to deal with this crap. It's awesome.
Yes, friends, I only lock my FRONT door now.
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BM will do anything to talk to SO, even insult him and me.
When BM has gone a few days without talking to SO, she makes up an excuse... usually a really dumb one. Today she tried to start an argument with him via text message. Her criticisms are ridiculous. Examples:
1) "SD just needs you to be a dad to her."
Be a dad? How? Could you be more specific? No; this is just something you like to say, BM. It doesn't really mean anything.
2) "SO, you need to grow up."
Explain? How should SO "grow up"? By going back to you and living in misery for the rest of his life? That's really what you mean, isn't it?
A Very Happy New Year. My Prayers have been answered.
I haven't posted in a while, because things went from awful to worse...
... to much, much better.
SO finally kicked SD out of the house. Enough is enough. She couldn't follow one rule the entire time she was here. She's high every day. SO gets a call from SD's school EVERY DAY saying she's absent. She steals, throws tantrums, breaks things. Enough. I felt unsafe and angry and anxious all the time.
He asked her to leave and he changed the lock. Freedom!
As I suspected, BM is invited to the In-Laws for Christmas
SD is giving SO a hard time because he's not going to Christmas at his family's house. They've invited BM and still expect him to show up, like they are still "one big happy family." He will get the guilt trip for not showing up to Christmas, as if he doesn't have a good reason not to go. This is also partly another attempt to drive me away. But they're driving their own son away in the process.
Older Stepkids Threatening to "Move Out."
SD, who lives off of us, occasionally says things like, "I'm going to move out."
We're not sure what this means. I feel like she may just be saying it to get a reaction out of SO. He's supposed to say, "No, SD! Don't move out! Continue to grace us with your divine presence!"
SD is of age and can legally move, but has NO IDEA how to take care of herself. She literally thinks money grows on trees. BM is her personal ATM machine and cleans up all of the messes SD creates.
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I Feel like a Prisoner in my Own Home
SO and I were looking forward to having a nice relaxing evening at home without the tyranny of SD. We watched a movie and hung out in bed and fell gently to sleep. SD was supposedly spending the night with friends, which usually means we don't have to see her all night or the following day.
But no! Surprise! We heard her come in the front door around 5 AM. We thought someone had broken into the house, so SO went to see what was going on. There stood SD.
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Long overdue update on Thanksgiving BM drama
Sorry for being remiss! We've been out of town, and things have been going so well I haven't had to worry about this a whole lot lately, thankfully.
Thanksgiving turned out pretty awful. We actually didn't end up going to SO's aunt's place (see my last few blogs if you're interested). SO ended up working late, so we were off the hook. But his two teenagers drove there together.
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I swear if the In Laws pull any crap with me today I'm never going back.
I have never been treated like this in my whole life. They are conniving, self righteous and mean. If we go to Thanksgiving dinner and BM is there, I'm never going to agree to see them again.
Sorry for the multiple posts. I'm just crawling out of my skin here. I don't know why people have to be so deceptive. This prolonged attachment between BM and SO's family is only hurting her. She can never have a real relationship as long as she spends every free minute and holiday with her EX HUSBAND's family!
Meanwhile, SO feels totally alienated and so do I.