I always knew that my husband struggled with "raising" his children, which is ironic because he is usually excellent with dishing out discipline. What I have discovered, though, is that he's fine with instant discipline for actions but he will not follow through when discipline takes work. He doesn't want to do the hard work.
His BPD diagnosed daughter, who is about to turn 18 and has been living with her boyfriend for the last year, allowed me to see the first cracks in his parenting abilities, and now his son who is almost 16 has revealed the remaining cracks.

I've been angry for a week. Since my DH told me that SD 17 was moving out of her mom's now too.

I've been pissed that (in my opinion - though based on history) her mom is pushing her to go since she wasn't able to get CS from us.

I'm pissed because, what the hell was the point of SD leaving here and causing US pain only to turn around and leave her mom's a few months later?

My poor husband had surgery just over a month ago and has been cooped up in our house ever since. It hasn't been fun for him, especially as he is limited in mobility for the time being. I've noticed that he's been a bit touchy about several things in the last few weeks - which I think is completely understandable. It's a bit of a pain, but understandable.

Yesterday, as we were running errands, he asks me out of the blue "So how long are we going to let the kids live with us?"

After a dinner out with friends who have their 22 yr old still at home, and his sister who has her 25 yr old plus their 22 yr old son AND his girlfriend living with them, he was wondering when to tell our kids to take a hike. All those kids mentioned are done school and hanging around. They have enabling parents (whom we love!) but they are enablers nonetheless.