My poor husband had surgery just over a month ago and has been cooped up in our house ever since. It hasn't been fun for him, especially as he is limited in mobility for the time being. I've noticed that he's been a bit touchy about several things in the last few weeks - which I think is completely understandable. It's a bit of a pain, but understandable.

Last week my son called me from his father's house and asked if his dad could take him and his stepbrother at dad's house to a comic store today (my weekend) for a few hours - this comic book store gives out free comic books to kids for every A on their report card, and he had a whole bunch of A's. His girlfriend is going as well, because she had three A's on her report card and he wants to score a few more free comics No problem, happy if his dad wants to take him.

Yesterday was my son's birthday party, and SS15 who lives with us, as well as BS's stepbrother who lives with his dad were at the party (BS always invites both step brothers to his birthday parties) so nothing unusual there. However, this morning as BS was getting ready to go out with his dad, my DH suddenly says "Is SS15 going?"

I said, "No, I don't think he was invited."

Silence.

He continues about his business, but I can tell that he's seething a little bit. Okay, now I consider - do I want to pursue this or leave it alone...

Me "Why did you ask if SS15 would be invited? Is there a reason you would think that SS15 would be invited to go with BS and his dad?"

DH "Just common courtesy! His stepbrother was here yesterday at the party and now he's going with them to the comic book store. If I was picking up DS from his dad's house to take him somewhere, I would invite his stepbrother to join us!"

Aha. I thought this might be the case. Despite that this isn't exactly truthful on his part (in seven years we have never once taken DS's stepbrother out with us) I see that he is offended that my son is going out with his dad and stepbrother to get comic books and his son wasn't invited.

DH's feelings are of course valid, though I would say misplaced. For some reason he wants to blame my ex-husband for his son being excluded - but the truth of the matter is that SS15 himself is more likely the reason he wasn't invited. SS15 has never once invited BS to any birthday parties or any activities that he does with his mother. Never once in now more than seven years. That's the precedent he has set, and BS has never complained about this; it just seems to be accepted that it is the way it is.

Nonetheless, it was amusing (in an ironic way) to hear my husband so annoyed that his son is being excluded - and I seriously had to consider how to respond.

So I said "It's okay that you feel that way. BS arranged this with me last week, when he was with his dad. They didn't just make the plans in front of SS and then exclude him."

And then I paused and debated the necessity of my next sentence. DH was still grumbling so I decided to continue, "And you need to remember, SS15 has never once called on BS to join him for any outing or party. Ever."

It was a risk on my part, he could have kept moping and being grumpy. Actually, I figured that he might. But I was pleasantly surprised that he got over it quickly - I guess he just needed to hear the truth to put it back into perspective! Thank goodness lol.