A lot of the posts that I have read in the last five days or so, have been by stepparents who have been pushed beyond their limits and are filled with animosity towards their stepchildren and their significant others. The dominant theme has revolved around disengagement. Men and women who have suddenly realized that they care more about raising their stepchildren than their biological parents. Stepparents who are tired of watching their husbands and wives place children on pedestals, yet fail to launch these children successfully into society. Spouses who no longer respect one another.

I was just responding to a poster's comment that said 50-50 splits are the worst thing you can do to a kid, which prompted me to write this particular blog.

Seriously, who decided the 50-50 splits are bad for children? Now, I know there's no magical arrangement that fits for every situation. There are far too many factors to consider when determining custody arrangements to say "one-size-fits-all".

However, I think the sweeping statement that 50-50 splits just messes kids up is just as bad as stating every birth mom should always have full custody of the children.

It has been a little over a week since I solemnly promised myself to not care about my SS15's education. Even though I am university educated, run my own successful business, and manage another's finances... My struggling to get a "C" SS told me that he knew perfectly well how to study for his exams and would be doing it his way thank you very much. (well, actually, he wasn't quite so articulate but you get my point...)

After the first seven seconds of stunned silence on my part, a lightning bolt of realization hit me.

"Let him!"

I've been stretching myself, really determined to be a better, happier person. And that includes NOT commenting on every damn thing that I disagree with or that drives me nuts. I'm trying to stay in a place that doesn't judge. Doesn't care, doesn't criticize.
Oh. My. God. It's hard.

But I'm seeing the stress leave me. I'm being much, much firmer with my husband about my lessened role with his son. And my bio son 14 has noticed my efforts and is offering support. So far, win win!