It was around a year or so ago that I first ran desperate and crying to strangers on the internet about how utterly frustrating and difficult it was to be a stepmother. Thank God for all my online stepmother cohorts. Without them I would probably still be wallowing in confusion and guilt and misguided expectations.

My SD12 called on a whim last night and wanted to spend the night, even though both my DH and I had to work today. She said her mom would pick her up "early". My DH wanted her to stay so she stayed. I had a migraine all night. (This is following a horrible Christmas day where she showed up with presents for everybody in the house except me and pouted all day long because my baby granddaughters were present and naturally became the center of attention.)

I read the book Fascinating Womanhood a few years ago and put a lot of it in practice with my previous marriage. Things greatly improved, but my ex had some mental issues so our marriage ended anyway. I really did change, though, since a lot of the principles in the book I brought with me when I met my new husband... I rarely ever nag, I appreciate him for who he is, I openly respect and admire him, I mostly follow his lead in our marriage, etc. I think this is why he ended up marrying me when he was such a slippery, sought-after, mega-confirmed bachelor.

Ever since I've known DH, SD12's "chore" has been the clean the dog poo off the front porch, where the dogs stay during the day while we are at work. Now SD12 says that I have done something to the dogs to make them poop more, because they never pooped that much before.

Seriously??? It's almost enough to make you laugh what stepkids can find to blame on stepparents.