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Wow sh*t just hit the fan.

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Sat, 05/08/2021 - 5:28pm

So SIL was messaging SD on her tablet and I saw that she told SD that it was unfair that she had to do chores when she's not here very much. And she was pumping her for information about what we're doing today. I messaged SIL back and told her that it is not up to her what SD does at our house. She then messaged back that I was petty and vindictive and taking things out on sweet SD. Then I blocked her and DH called SIL and flipped out on her and then on his parents. Supposedly his parents don't know a lot of what SIL has been pulling, but SIL tried to blame her parents so who knows. 

This must tie in somehow?

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Sat, 05/08/2021 - 3:02pm

So apparently a couple weeks before BMs random flip out where she declared SD couldn't come here anymore, her and SD had been fighting so badly that she enlisted GBM to talk to SD. GBM tried to have a discussion with SD about open communication with her mom and being nice to her and not telling BM that she doesn't care about things. SD said she didn't want to discuss anything at all with either of them. Another time SD apparently just randomly hung up the phone on GBM.

The final decision

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Mon, 05/03/2021 - 9:08am

Well, DH has decided to hand everything over to BM completely. I'm waiting for medical assistance to call me back about taking her off insurance. Also waiting for BM to respond about if she will be going to school in her city next year since it appears she doesn't want to.

If she tries to worm out of making it permanent now I'm going to flip out.

ETA:

So her mom is not happy at all that she's going to be with her fulltime and is throwing a fit about her going to school in her city. She clearly didn't think it was going to be permanent.

Two things I've learned from steplife

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Sun, 05/02/2021 - 9:22pm

1. How important boundaries are (and what they are). Still working on effectively implementing them.

2. To live my life for myself and not other people. And by that I mean they're judgments. Also still working on effectively implementing this one, but a big part of it is instead of changing my life/values for other people, changing the people I interact with and the degree to which I interact with them.

Inlaws and BM feel like threats

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Tue, 04/27/2021 - 2:03pm

So I've just had the epiphany that the reason I can't just move on from things that the inlaws and BM do is that they feel like threats that I need to always be on the lookout for. Threats to our stability, my marriage and kids, and happiness. BM, SD and MIL would all be thrilled if DH and I were to divorce so they can both try to be number one again. MIL has made it clear that SD is her number one priority, and it doesn't matter how it affects my kids. Same with SIL.

3rd message from BM about food stamps

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Tue, 04/20/2021 - 2:28pm

So BM sent another text to both DH and myself after I already told her that I'm not part of her custody situation so I can't help her. This time with a picture attached of the letter from social services. Which says she needs verification of SD living with her from DH. Specifically says DH. It does not say an email and I don't think an email is going to be good enough verification of what SDs living situation is. Usually they want mail addressed to them or a custody order. None of which she has because DUE TO HER choices SDs residential address has always been ours.

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