Jcksjj's Blog
MIL wants to stop by
So MIL just messaged DH and said they were invited to SILs and asked if they could stop by and bring the kids their presents here.
My answer would be a big F no, but of course DH is being a wimp about keeping to his boundaries he set. This isnt going to be some miracle where they magically decide they care and are going stop being a bunch of assholes. Most likely SD and BM are at SILs. So they'll get to have their cake and eat it too.
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Third month of no shows
This weekend was the 3rd weekend SD didn't show up. At this point I think its safe to assume that she's not going to any time soon.
It feels a little...weird. Just because it's not normal for a kid to have zero contact with a dad that was previously very involved. But honestly, this is the most peaceful my adult life has ever been and the most content I've felt. No drama with SD, no contact from BM, very little contact from the inlaws. DH and I very rarely end up arguing now also. It's nice.
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The hoovering
MIL and FIL have been stepping up the guilt tripping texts lately and attempts to get a reaction out of DH. Posting things on Facebook (dh still has FIL on there). Luckily DH isn't even blinking at them.
But is this going to go on forever?
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BM already broke up with her internet boyfriend
I've been with DH for nearly 6 years. In that time, BM has now had 4 failed relationships. Whenever she's single she loses her mind. As she's getting older and it's getting harder for her to find someone and she gets significantly less attention, it's even worse than before when she's single. And it wasn't much better while she was actually with this guy since he was hardly ever actually around because he lived halfway across the country.
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Someone told me we should take custody of SD
Someone told me today we should try to take SD back now and essentially "fix her" while she's still really little (I dont consider a 5th grader really little). So we don't end up having to take her back in when she's older with more issues because "dh couldn't ever refuse to take his own kid."
Ummm...I already spent (wasted) several years of my life attempting to correct her poor behavior and I'm done. It didn't change anything and I still ended up being her scapegoat.
No. No, no, no no no.
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Something to be thankful for
SD was a no show again this morning. What a relief. I hate having someone in my home nitpicking and searching for reasons that we're not good enough and/or to get us in trouble with her mommy and aunt.
I'm assuming 2 no shows means she has no intention of coming over again anytime soon, but BM has not actually said anything again. I'm guessing she's waiting for DH to break down and beg and cry.
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One of my good friends is now a BM
To complicate things she's also my brother's ex/nephews mom.
Shes in the wanting to have her cake and eat it too stage. She's dating someone else, but still wants to be fully a part of our family and is constantly inviting my brother to do things with her.
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It's supposed to be SD week
This weekend is supposed to be an SD weekend. I wonder what the chances of her getting dropped off are after the no show last time? I'm guessing she's not going to be here, but I could see it going either way.
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And today MIL texts DH
All it said was "I love you and miss you. Hope all is well."
Still no apologies, admissions of wrongdoing. Just guilt tripping and "look at me being the bigger person."
Also notably absent is any mention of the kids - which is a far cry from when SD lived here and then any message would be asking about her.
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Yay we're invited to Thanksgiving!
FIL messaged DH this morning that our family is invited to Thanksgiving and they need to know if we're coming asap.
No way in hell will I ever be going there without some sort of apology or acknowledgement of wrongdoing and a genuine attempt to change. They really think eventually this will all just be water under the bridge.
How much you want to bet when we say no they invite BM instead? Or the whole thing is a set up to get SD and DH to work things out.
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