You are here

Jcksjj's Blog

Just FYI

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Sat, 10/16/2021 - 1:57pm

Just an FYI to everyone since I didn't know this until today - you can make it so that only your friends on here can send you private messages. 

In case anyone else's eyes are exhausted from rolling to the back of their heads from looneys.

It's amazing

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Mon, 10/04/2021 - 2:45pm

It's amazing that it's been almost a year (I think) since the strictly 50/50 schedule and my anxiety still skyrockets sometimes on the Mondays that SD was supposed to be here after school. I'm not even thinking about it, but I guess my subconscious still knows.

Something to keep working on, I guess.

ETA: I just looked back through my text history and this week last year was literally the last full week we had with SD.

Another PAS question

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 12:15pm

Should we call out bad behaviors from SD that are encouraged by BM and SIL? Things like gossiping about us, etc. Or keep quiet about it?

Also, next time SD comes here - would it be better to tell her at the door no ipad from BMs, or just make it so she can't use it (shut off wifi, or go to the park where there's no wifi)?

What do we tell the other kids

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Tue, 09/21/2021 - 10:58am

So my biggest questions right now regarding the whole situation with SD and PAS are:

1. How will this end up playing out in the long run?

2. What do we tell the younger kids?

Obviously no one really knows the answer to number 1. But as far as question 2, I can't really find any info about PAS regarding siblings. I'm sure DS3.5 will be asking soon as he already asks where she is once in awhile (even though SD doesn't even respond to him when he says hi).

SD was here an hour and a half

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Sat, 09/18/2021 - 10:35am

SD showed up. Ran down to her room immediately. DH went down to talk to her for a bit. Then he told her he needed her iPad, because aren't going to allow her to use electronics unsupervised in our home. SD ran into the bathroom with it, locked the door and called her mom. Her mom shows up right as we go downstairs. Her mom tells her to go outside and she starts screaming and bawling that she can't because we're at the door. So I tell her that her mom is outside so she can go out to her car.

I'm losing patience with DHs guilt.

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Wed, 09/15/2021 - 8:37pm

DH is still getting mopey with his guilt regarding SD sometimes. That he could have done more when she was younger, blah blah. Idk what more he could have done honestly and I think the guilt is disproportionate to his actions. I'm losing patience in dealing with it. Regardless of what happened 8, 9 10 years ago we are where we are and SD is a mini of BM. I know that sounds cold and it kind of is but...I really am just wishing he could get over it.

Apparently everything is fine now?

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Wed, 09/15/2021 - 6:31pm

So I've written plenty over the last 9 months of BM and SD complaining about how we/our home isn't good enough and so forth. Last month SD didn't come over at all. I messaged BM to check if SD was still coming this weekend and if so what time and wow what a 180. Perfectly friendly and agreeable, SD can be there any time, etc.

Uhhh....okay. 

ETA: it could be because she thinks we're going to the inlaws. ...

Using kids to perpetuate abusive behavior

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Mon, 09/13/2021 - 10:40am

Most of my relationship with DH I've questioned if BM was alienating SD or if SDs reaction to DH and myself was just a natural response to the situation. Over the past year it's become glaringly obvious that yes, it was alienation and it sounds like it started before DH even left BM (only BM knew the correct way to handle SD and criticized anything DH did, SD only ever wanted BM, etc). 

When tiktok parents for you

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Thu, 09/09/2021 - 11:19am

I've posted about SDs tiktok posts a few times and how insanely inappropriate they are. And that BM follows her on it and doesn't care apparently what she posts. 

Well, now SDs account is banned for multiple community guidelines violations. I'm sure she will just make another account. But it's kind of interesting that the platform itself cares more about what a 10 year old posts then her mom.

Pages