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What are your thoughts - Padded bra situation

DoDar's picture

Hi

My SD10 arrives to spend the night with SO and myself and proudly shows me her new bra her BM bought for her.

Just for some background SD had been wearing crop tops and had one very plain cotton bra. She is starting to develop but is not really at the stage where she needs a proper bra yet.

The bra her BM bought for her is padded and moulded, to me it’s like a mini wonder bra and completely unnecessary and inappropriate. I was shocked when I saw it and disturbed that her mother would put her in such a "sexual" piece of underwear at such a young age.

Why the funny behaviour?

DoDar's picture

Last weekend was mine and SO weekend with the Skids. They arrived on Friday night and from the moment SS8 saw me he didn’t leave my side all weekend. He is normally a very loving child so a kiss and cuddle from him is not unusual but he clung to me like his life depended on it. He did not leave my side, sat on me or against me followed me where every I went constantly hugged and kissed me telling me he loved me. I went to the loo at one point and he looked in a complete panic that I was leaving the room and got up to come with me.

Something good to share

DoDar's picture

When I picked up the Skids last night my SD 10 gave me a little package that she had wrapped up. She told me it was for me. He BM was there at the time and you could see by her face that she was not happy that I was being given a present.

Anyway I waited until I got home to open it. When I did it was a little model of me she had made in her craft time at school. It was of my face and hair and she had made it and painted it. It was so lovely and I gave her a big hug and said thank you so much it was a lovely present and it was very nice of her to think of me and make it.

Is what I said really that bad - Advice please

DoDar's picture

OK to give you all some background, I pick up the skids on a Wednesday from school when their after school clubs have finished. Well yesterday the clubs were not on so I picked them up from their BMs SO house as this is where they live when with BM.

Anyway BM own mother had been ill for some time and we knew she had taken a turn for the worse and she passed away on Monday morning. Now her mother lives about 2.5 hours away so it was going to be a strain on her to sort everything out.

Will I ever get a thank you for my involvment?

DoDar's picture

Do stepkids ever grow up to realise what their step mums done for them or have been through to stay in their lives??

Do BMs every think my children have turned out good because of the step mums involvment??

Or are we fighting a losing battle for the rest of our lives where we give so much of ourselves but get nothing in return.

Just wondering what to expect as the years go by.

OMG there is hope

DoDar's picture

Had the most crappy evening with BM texting all sorts of made up lies to my other half about me. She was saying that the kids go back to her crying after they have been with me or us. What a load of bull. He even asked his daughter and she said she has never gone home crying and that she loves coming and being with us and that she loves me.

Do nice BMs exist? :?

DoDar's picture

Just a quick question to try and give me a ray of hope through all the crap and hard times I have had, and will continue to have with the BM.

Are any of you in a situation where you get along with the BM? Does she like you and respect you and did you have to work hard to get where you are with her today?

Thanks

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