Cover1W's Blog

The good and the bad

Good: both SDs flatly refused to help clear the dinner table last night. I said nothing to them after dinner but asked DP to make sure the table was cleared and cleaned. DP asked nicely and again and again. Then he flat out demanded and made sure as heck it happened. Good for him. I think he may have even called them spoiled (although he's not sure HOW they got that way...). So win on disengagement it keeps working.

1.75 days left

...of work. Then I have 7 days of NO WORK!
"Vacation!" - quotes because it will involve taking SDs with us.

The planning has been so far, so good.

They have their own roller-bags now, which DP bought, and they WILL be managing their own luggage. Neither DP nor I will haul it for them. At the store, once the bags were decided on, SD10 started walking away from her bag. "Um, SD10, where are you going? This is your bag, you are responsible for it starting right now." Nope, your bag, you keep track of it and haul it around.

SD12 shut Down!

....By DP himself!

:jawdrop:

So I installed a new toilet seat in the SDs bathroom last night.
SD12 was very impressed then said something about her dad not using "her" bathroom.

Background: Before we moved in we made it clear that SDs could not just use the master bath (located inside our bedroom suite) whenever they wanted. SD(12) then said WE could not use HERS then. LOL - nope, we shut that down whenever she's said it...

The Room...Cleaned

So it went really well.
DP was all over it!!!
He put on gloves and everything.
I didn't do much at all, just sort of moved things around a little, threw some stuff away. Was there for moral support as DP wanted me there - he did great!

The Room

I've been ignoring SD12s room for a LONG, LONG time. Since the summer.
DP has asked her who knows how many times to clean it, with a sweet "Yes Daddy!" answer and he's over the moon and never follows up. I remind him, he says he'll take care of it.

But it smells now.
And then she lied to my face about cleaning something up this weekend.

120 Degree Turn Around

OK, so all is better already.

SD12 will not be spending the night with a friend, so DP gets kudos for that.
She'll just get to spend the afternoon/dinner there.

The shopping trip is still on.

DP reimbursed me for a purchase for SD12, no complaining.

All Within 12 Hours

So all has been going well the last couple weeks after DP and I had a little argument about my disengagement (but he doesn't call it that, he calls it my lack of help, interest and bad attitude).

We spoke about undermining, ignoring, changing plans, wanting me to parent but then NOT wanting me to parent at the same time, cleaning issues, etc...

He's been much better. The house is staying cleaner, he's more aware of that. He's asking for help more rather than assuming.

Until yesterday when he did a full 180.

Monday!

Work front:
Well, bummer. I didn't get the new position position.
Someone from oustide swooped in at the last minute and got it (with the exact qualification I was a little weaker on dang it).

The good news is that department wants to use me because now they know I am good at it and want it, and I will use it as a negotiating point for a wage increase. With all the changes coming to our office in the next year you better believe they can't use me for my knowledge and senior level input without payment! I get to talk with our Director about it too.

Disengagement...argh

So as time goes on and I continue to NOT help DP is imploding.
Which I expected.
And which makes me even more disengaged.

VENTING!

SD now 10!

SD9 is now 10, her birthday party is at our place today.
I did NO planning.
Joy!

I agreed to make dessert (two giant chocolate chip cookies held together with a layer of the dreaded Nutella with Nutella designs on top) and breakfast for her (fluffy pancakes please) and the one friend staying over (again, yay! Only one!).

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