Did you date other people during any breaks with SO?
My SO and I have broken up a good four or five times. Probably more. I've ventured out into the dating world during these breakups and let me tell ya, it ain't pretty out there.
During one break up, I went to party. It was more like a outdoor barbeque kinda party. I brought my kids. My middle child really took to this guy named Keith. He was my old friend from high school's boss. At the end of the party, he asked for my phone number and she vouched for him so I gave it to him. He asked me on a date for St. Patrick's Day and I allowed him to pick me up from my home and drive me. (something I will never ever do again) We went to Beef O Brady's. His choice.
On our very first date, he revealed to me
1) That he was bipolar
2) That he had to take meds from being bipolar which caused him to suffer from erectile dysfunction
3) He was a man in his mid to late 30;s working at our local college in a supervisory capacity and he knocked up a teenage girl working in the college bookstore and has a son about age 5.
4) Teenage girl got him on the hook for a lot of child support. SO much so that his home is being foreclosed upon and that he lives with his mother
At this point, the waitress has come around and I was like "I really need to go" and he was not getting the hint so I was like "Waitress! I'm going to need a few more of those green beers." To numb the pain of the date. But not get intoxicated to leave myself vulnerable.
Then he starts telling me this amazing story of an exgirlfriend. They are in a bar. She disappears. He goes to look for her. Finds her in the back alley of bar with a gentleman patron inflagrnte delicto upon her knees. He goes back in the bar. They fight. They make up. They leave the bar and are walking to his car. He hears footsteps behind them. It;s that guy. He gets in the front seat of the car. She gets in the car and lo and behold mr. bar patron gets in the back seat too and they ask him to drive them to a hotel and HE DOES!!! and then he's so disgusted with himself he said he put a gun to his head later that night.
Why he thought such a story would make him appear masculine and attractive to me, I don't know. But at this point he gets out of his side of the booth and slides on my side and tries to put the moves on me. When I rebuff him he says, "What? You don't like public displays of affection?"
I yell "Waitress! Check please!" She brings it to us. I take out my wallet to pay my half and he says "Oh? You've got this? waitress, she's got the whole thing."
UM NO>
Then we get to the car. His grandma's car, I guess. He tries again to put the moves on me. UGH. and for days afterwards he kept trying to call asking what he had done wrong.
I spent a year and half single after my divorce not dating anyone at all. I'd say that I am pretty girl. But this is what I would get a lot from men. I would be about my business at work, at church, social events and men would approach me and say, "You are such a pretty girl. It's really too bad you have so many kids." and "I'd date you if you didn't have any kids." I had a man hand me his phone # once while I was at my desk and he saw me flipping through my Toys R Us ad and said, "What are you looking at that for?" and I said, "Because I have three kids age 2, 4 , and 6" and he took his phone number back! Ahole. I get really meany and nasty to people who do that to me. Like I never asked them out. I never hit on them. I never showed them any romantic interest but they feel the need to reject me when I didn't even ask them out. It got to the point where I'd lose my grace and manners and say, "and I'd date you if you weren't so damn ugly."
I have more horror stories of first dates during breakups with SO. That was just the worst one. I'm 39. The good ones are taken. The ones at my age are divorced with children so can I blame them for not wanting to date me because I'm divorced with children when I know very well from experience with SO what its like to date a man divorced with children? And you know what else? I get hit on all the time by married men. Its really very skivvy. I never ever was hit on like this by married men until I got divorced and its like they think I must be desperate or something.
- NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's blog
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Comments
DH and I broke up for like a
DH and I broke up for like a week once. I had a guy after me before him and I were together. I had dinner with the guy, friendly, he tried to get me back to his place. NOPE!
This guy detailed out his ex and all her alchol, drug problems. That he was in the military and had 2 boys to raise, asked me to have dinner at his house.
I have to say I think I put up with alot because the OTHER CHOICES are so NASTY!
No but he dated someone
No but he dated someone during our little hiatus.
DH and I have been together
DH and I have been together since we first started dating. We have never broken up or taken a break. We have been together for 4 years. Married for a year and half.
I would think being on/off so many times, especially as an adult and with kids involved would be a good sign that you guys probably should be off and stay off.
That guy you went on the St Pattys date with- WOW! Sounds like a hot mess.
When SO and I first got
When SO and I first got together he wouldn't commit and actually told me that if BM wanted him back he would go. We stopped seeing each other for about 6 months.
During that time, I dated one guy for a month. SO and I call him the crying guy
I took crying guy to meet my best friends (guy and girl that are a couple). He got really drunk. When we got back to his place he started actually crying real tears holding on to me saying he didn't want to lose me. :jawdrop:
I cooked him dinner at his house and looked at his dog while I was eating. He told me never to look at his dog while I ate at his house. :?
Two weeks later we went to dinner. We both ordered Maui sandwiches and I order fries with mine. He asked for a fry. I gave him one. Then he said "You have all those fries at least you can do is share" I told him I don't have a problem at all sharing but if he wanted fries you can order some and no way was I going to be spoken to like that. After dinner we walked to the beach and saw a C-130 fly over. He kept calling it a coast guard plane and I corrected him because I was an Air Traffic Controller. That was my air space and I knew exactly what plane and call sign it was. But he won't stop. He kept arguing with me about it.
I never spoke to him again after that. I now know what he was 40 and never married.
Wow!!!!!!!!!!! Crying guy is
Wow!!!!!!!!!!! Crying guy is up there with St. Patty's day guy. He is.
Here's something that will
Here's something that will make you laugh. I have dated very casually a bit in the past few months. Here is what happened with one guy I met who I knew for literally a week:
1) He asked me to be his girlfriend and said he was in love with me.
He is 30.
2) He asked me if he could move in to my place because he lost his job and "we were together all the time anyways" (??? - we weren't! - knew him a week!)
3) His rent was $400 that he couldn't pay, and after I said no to his idea of him moving in, he asked to borrow it. You have NO ONE else to borrow money from than the woman you JUST met??
4) He asked me out to pizza and beers, when the bill came I went to split it and he yelled at me and got super pissed saying that I knew he didn't have any money. But he asked ME out!
5) Yelled at me for not taking a walk around the block with him
6) Told me to not talk about my mother because she "died like 20 years ago"
7) After three unsuccessful attempts to cut contact, he told me I left a void in his heart and life, that I am a cold-hearted wench, and I deserved to be cheated on.
IT'S HARD OUT HERE FOR A SINGLE LADY
I can't believe you let him
I can't believe you let him go. He sound like a peach.
OMG!!!!!!!! You know he's
OMG!!!!!!!! You know he's somebody's stepkid looking to mooch!
I cannot date during breakups
I cannot date during breakups unless I know they'll be permanent; it usually takes me 1 or 2 years to realize that, unfortunately. I mourn so bad that i cannot "see" other guys.
I wouldn't feel like dating
I wouldn't feel like dating during a breakup (which is in fact where I am right now) but have definitely dated some losers during my post divorce single days.
One guy was a bodybuilder, so nice pecs etc., but he had this weird habit of stealing knives and forks from restaurants.
it really ticked me off at first, and I used to grab them and take them back. I thought at first he was just being goofy to push my buttons. However, when it escalated to thefts from shops I dumped his waddling arse pronto. Never so glad to see the back end of that one. He stills comes back hoovering for attention on linkedin sometimes, but I finally figured out how to block him. He also had a fuckbuddy who lived next door in his apartment building, who "tolerated" his girlfriends but believed she was the love of his life.. Hopefully they'll end up together.
I did try the dating sites
I did try the dating sites for a short while about four years ago. Went through a few painful "first dates" with random guys. The worst one was a fellow I met briefly on a park bench who asked if I'd like to go dogging with him. Erm, no thanks. When I went home, I did what all sensible people should do PRIOR to meeting up with an internet stranger...and simply googled his dating site username. He was a huge pervert, I even found videos of him in flagrant delecto. He tried texting me after our only meeting, and I politely answered "i'll take a pass on further dates thanks". Idiot texted back, why? And my answer: Erm, I googled your username. Nuff said.
I tried internet dating once.
I tried internet dating once. I had my little profile up. I clicked on my very first message. It said, "Will you shave my butt and backhairs for $100. This is no joke." and I deleted my profile and that was my one adventure in dating sites
Not sure if I should or
Not sure if I should :jawdrop: or just laugh out loud, so I went for the second! Hilarious!! (sorry...)