It's 2024 and too many people believe that "stepmom" equals "servant/doormat". SMDH

I've read that post too! 
they told her to stay in her lane and wished she was dead but were mad she didn't cook them breakfast next morning. Entitlement! Ha And the pregnant one planned for SM to be a full time nanny. Oh really??? 

It's a special kind of "no man's land" when you're a stepparent in a situation where the saintly mom has died. People are so rude and cruel.

Would not be me . I could not live like that. Good luck in her new life. Thank her lucky stars she away from that dysfunctional life

I was a bit surprised at how supportive the posts were towards a SM!  

I mean.. honestly.. this was a very cringe situation.. what woman wants to be constantly reminded that she only got her role due to the death of another person?  I totally get that kids would have some ongoing grief over the loss of their mother.. and the MIL being the dead woman's mother.. also has her own grief.. and her words were really very thoughtless considering how this other person has been so gracious over the years at not demanding her daughter's memory be squashed.. though it seemed like I have to agree having a birthday party.. celebrating milestones for someone who is dead.. is not particularly healthy behavior.. and maybe it's no surprise the kids were messed up by it.

I do think that maybe the wife and her "family" should try to an extent to seek counseling.. people say things that they may not even actually mean.. and I'm guessing they lashed out because they thought their grandmother (link to mom) was being attacked.. they are kids.. and they should know better.. but people say dumb things.. and generally people aren't emotionally cutting people off over one fight.

but if she is done.. she is done... hope she has an amazing stepfree life..

The reply by YomiKuzuki is pure gold. *clapping*

I can't get past the idea of having a birthday party for someone who died over 10 years ago. IMO, there are some serious unresolved issues there...

A birthday party for dead wife.

Celebrating dead wife on mothers day and christmas.

A 16 year old gettting pregnant.

Getting mad at SM Ann because shes not wanting to apologise for her feeling upset at being told her skids wish it was her that was dead and they were just pretending to like her so they could have her continue to doormat for them.

I am SUPER glad that Ann packed the kids and left. Hopefully she has a REALLY great lawyer too, she sounds smart.

I replied on that one. And told him I hope he/they treats his next partner better. 

for me the biggest cruelty was this:

A crying Rose said that she wished it was ann dead instead of her mom and she’s sick of pretending to like her so she can stop trying to play pretend she’s their mom

I wonder how the first wife would feel if she knew that her mother, sister, husband and daughters were treating Ann this way.  If she was a decent person she would be angry with all of them.  I wouldn't want birthday parties thrown for me if I was dead.  No one could take my place in my children's lives or my mother's life, there's only one me after all.  But, if I died and my husband remarried, and his wife treated my children kindly, being a mother figure to them, that's the best outcome.  Why couldn't my kids find room in their hearts to love her too?  She wouldn't be replacing me, but she would be filling a void that needed filling. I'd come back and haunt my mother if she tried to poison my kids against her.  

I still miss my dad.  Always will.  I got closer to my uncle.  He hasn't replaced my dad at all, but has been there to give fatherly advice when I needed it.  I think Dad would be fine with that as he'd rather his own brother be able to guide me vs someone who may not be as good of an influence.  

Good God this man needs to come with a warning label. 

Celebrating the saintly dead ex's birthday? Mother's Day and Christmas revolving around her too? Overbearing mother-in-law? AND a teen stepkid with a baby on the way with no means of supporting herself?

Sounds like a sh- show in hell. 

Step life is the fu@king twilight zone ...

Stepmoms are today's Cinderella. I hope Ann finds a real prince. 

THIS is why I refuse to be "mom" 2.0 ... most the times these kids n ex wives resent the energy and effort step moms put in to try and improve the quality of their life. 
 

most of these single dads (not the wise sane ones) are looking for nothing more than glorified FREE nanny/uber driver/maid/chef/therapist/etc for their offspring PLUS they expect seggs on demand

Where do I opt-out?

You will constantly be competing with the ex-wife and in this situation the ex is deceased and he has this woman competing with a ghost. 
 

Thats nuts for reddit...Usually most ppl will respond in favor of the children and the bioparents dead or alive

It really is a first because that site paints stepparents as menial slaves required to give their income and serve/help the ex and the children

Well played SM. Well played.  

Too bad she polluted her gene pool with this guy.

I hope she nails him for a crap ton of CS and makes it difficult for him to continue to provide for the progeny of the failed coupling between him and his deceased womb donor.  Particularly the toxic teen breeder with the disappeared baby daddy.  No doubt her STBXH will support his GKid and his breeder daugther for who knows how long.

She needs to take the house as well. Sell it and buy one for herself and her boys in another State to drive home the point that SpermDaddy screwed the pooch by siding with his toxic daugthers and his former ILs. That also drives long distance visitation which minimizes the amount of exposure time her boys will have with the shallow and polluted end of their gene pool.

The support that SM is apparently getting in the comments is heartening.

daughter in this Reddit, is livid at this disphit, his nasty spawn with his dead wife, and with the dead wife's shallow and polluted gene pool family.

She (DW)  is the orphan who became a teen mom at 16.  Her StepDad was at the hospital when she was born.  He and my MIL married when my DW was 2mos old.  She did tell him a couple of times when she was in her difficult teens that he was not her dad.  She tears up when she recounts those times.  She worshipped her dad.  She is his person.  Even my MIL told my DW recently that my bride was her dad's person.  MIL and FIL have 4 kids. My DW, BIL1, BIL2, and SIL.  Though she is not his genetically, she is the child of his heart and she was the one he was closest with by far.

When she got pregnant, it was him that comforted her, told her that she would get through it, told her she was keeping and raising the baby, and was her main support.

DW: "He has a duty to protect this wife in this situation.  His former ILs, his daughters, and his former ILs were gaining up on his wife and he did nothing.  Ann chose those girls.  Like my dad chose me and you chose (SS).  Ann is better off, and her boys are better off now that she has left.  Poor mama, and the boys.  I feel bad for them."

After she said the above, she teared up and "I miss my dad."  We lost my FIL 6 years ago this coming summer.  DW's BioDad/MIL's first DH was killed in a vehicle accident a few days before MIL learned that she was pregnant with DW. So my FIL was not only StepDad, he had Unicorn mythical deceased BioDad to deal with as my DW was growing up.

Unfortunately the Reddit is no longer open for comment. I was going in loaded for bear.

DW: "What people forget is that the kids grow up and move on with their lives. You have to remember that and be with the person you can make a life with and be with after the kids.  It goes by so fast.  You miss the kids. But then you have each other, you have today, and you have the future."

No doubt it is even more important in blended family marriages. And much harder.  Particularly when the person who brings the kid baggage to the new marriage does not keep those kids in their place and ensure that they behave. 

That so many STalkers do not have quality partners, their partners do not hold their baggage kids to standards, and the drama goes on well into Skid adulthood, infuriates me.

There are ways that you can still honor the deceased person without insulting the new person.  A friend of mine for college died when her son was very small.  Dad remarried and the family do acknowledge her death and bday every year but in a quiet way full of thoughts and rememberance.  On her bday they cook and eat one of our national dishes in her honor.  But Dad would not support his son being mean to SM,

If the link above does not show the original post, you can find it reposted here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1aujemg/aita_for_abus...