OT: I consider myself an orphan now
It's not step parenting related but I've mentioned it many times before about my horrible mother, the animal hoarder. Well she was sucidially depressed many times this year. Many times I had to send the police over there and myself and she wouldn't answer the door. She would be blackout drunk and her 35 animals which were 20 yorkies, 10 parrots, and 5 chickens were without food and water. They were more animals at times. Over and over I would have to get her sober, clean up the home of animal feces and urine , and take care of 35 animals. I warned her and I warned her and I warned her again and again and again. In March, I told her I was giving her the opportunity to sell or rehome the animals herself but if she fell off the wagon and I found them in those conditions that I would give every single animal away to a proper home.
So in May 11, she was once again black out drunk and hallucinating and crapping herelf and the bed. The animals didn't have food and water again. So I gave back all the animals that she had contracts with that they would return to their original owners. I gave the chickens away on a buy nothing group. I gave the parrots to different friends of hers that had parrot experience.
I got my mother in Detox where she was for three weeks. She is in rehab. She got her phone back last night and what does she do??? She messaged the people I rehomed her dogs to saying she is leaving rehab and wants her dogs back. Her sister and brothers are harrassing me. and I'm done. I'm done with the woman. It's been a lifetime of abuse and horror.
I've implemented the boundaries I learned here and I put them up for my mother. I said I'm not codepedent and I am not an enabler and I refuse to be a party to animal abuse and hoarding. I said I would do anything for her if she choose a life of health and sobriety and one dog and one dog only but she didn't choose that.
Surprisingly I have bonded with SD23 whose mother is North Korea. Her mother is a lot like my mother and we are leaning on each other.
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Humane Society
You sound like you won't be in this position again, but if you were, could the Humane Society help? I often see their ad where they are rescuing neglected animals.
I'm sorry you're going thru this, how hard it must be.
Hugs! Been there done that
Hugs! Been there done that and had to go NC with my mother. She was batshit!
You did a very healthy thing for yourself. You chose you.
As an animal lover, I thank you for saving those superior beings. That sounds like a ton of work.
Is your mum getting the dogs back or do the new owners know to not give them back?
NOT SURE
i KNOW the rescue isn't going to give any back. IT was a lot of animals and they went to a lot of different people. I hope no one returns any of them to her but I can't say for certaintly that it won't happen but I hope it won't happen.
Does your county have an
Does your county have an Adult Protection/Elder Care agency? They may have resources to help your mom.
I know it's hard because she
I know it's hard because she's your mother but living in filth is really not doing her any good. I would report her to the humane society/local government.
https://arff.org/report-abuse
Perhaps a neighbor could alert you if they notice animal hoarding starting up again and you could pass the message along to the local law enforcement. You can report anonymously. I understand it's not your job to clean up her mess, I just feel so bad for those animals. I can't imagine the horrible life they must have.
Those poor animals! Thank
Those poor animals! Thank you for saving them!
Good. For. YOU!
Girl, you have grown SO much over the years! And the healthier you've gotten, the more clearly you see the big picture of how negatively your mother has affected your life. I admire you so much for having the strength and clarity to save those animals and give your mom a chance to save herself. You're doing what you must to protect yourself and your daughters, too.
Severe addicts like your mom ought to be in rehab for a very long time, not a few weeks or months. But it is what it is.
Come what may, you know you've done what you could for your mom. The rest is up to her.
Call animal control. What she is doing is abusive to the animals
and she needs to be prosecuted for that and COd to not ever have an animal in her "care" again.
Do not only step away, apply the fullest consequences available under the law.
Put her ass in prison. Save the animals.