He did it to BM, why Wouldn't he do it to me?
So, I've dated my SO for a year and a half. Paid off his bills, bought him new appliances, amusement park vacations for the kids, comforted the children when BM didn't invite them to her wedding, made arrangements for them to meet their new half-sibling at the hospital because she wouldn't invite them to that either, bought them clothes, do all the laundry, all the dishes, feed the animals- regular SMslave stuff. You'd think he'd think I was great.
We first met at "his" bar. BM still lived in his house. We dated a few months, she moved out, I moved in. I thought everything was going well.
He calls me from his bar yesterday; he met a woman there. She's very "nice" and "cute", she reminds him of me. He invited her to move in.
I'm devastated.
He's going to the bar alone to talk to women?
He's inviting another woman to move in to our home?
He's inviting a Stranger that he just met, to live with his Children!?
He found me there when he was still living with BM. He found anothe woman there while living with me. I'm stupid - I know.
I also know that I shouldn't make decisions out of rage, but I'd like to call BM's custody lawyer and let her know how excited he is to bring home strangers that he meets at the bar to live with his kids. I do love those children, and I don't want him to expose them to some pedophile or theif because she's "cute" and he made a drunk-split decision to give her keys to the house.
Was he drunk when he called you
he doesn’t make executive decisions like this with un-vetted people.. its reckless
Well, they do say once a
Well, they do say once a cheater, always a cheater.
I'm not sure why you took on so much care and responsibility of the kids, but it seems it's time to let them (and him) go and move on. Lesson learned, hopefully.
He got what he wanted from
He got what he wanted from you, time to move on.
Maybe don't be so quick to make out with some handsome stranger in his van.
As far as the "regular SMslave stuff", that has never been a thing in my life. YOU chose to take all of that on. Lesson learned!
Yes, he was drunk. No, I don
Yes, he was drunk. No, I don't think he slept with her. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life from here, I'll sleep in the spare bedroom untill I'm not so angry. I was just so blinded by those little cartoon hearts in my eyes, and I always wanted babies, and he's very charming, and I'm gulable, etc.
After the screaming match we had last night that resulted in both of us leaving, and him acusing ME of cheating, I think he knows I don't aprove of him moving in another woman.
I'm hoping he sobers up and has a very magical explanation for disrespecting me, and wanting to put his children in danger.
Wait, I don't understand. He
Wait, I don't understand. He wants to move another woman into your home, and you stay there, too? Like sister wives? And you THINK he knows you don't approve of that? Oh, my DH would know I didn't approve, because he'd be watching me pack my stuff and GTFO.
He's accusing you of cheating because HE is cheating, it's projection. I'm not clear how he's putting his children in danger by moving her in, any more than he was by moving YOU in (not that you are a danger, but you were that strange woman then).
Please figure out why you would put up with this for 5 seconds.
And so what if he sobers up
And so what if he sobers up and has some sort of magical explanation?!
If you let that work, then he'll know that the line is even further down the beach, and he's just going to keep edging closer and closer to it.
Any response he gives you is a manipulation tactic. If you stay, you'll be a sister-wife. If you're not cool with that, pack your stuff and leave. He's found his next gullible victim.
I think he knows I don't
I think he knows I don't aprove of him moving in another woman
What do you mean, you THINK he knows? Is there a reason he would think that you would be okay with it?
This all sounds seriously messed up.
After the screaming match we
And just where did he go after the fight? Perhaps to "talk" to the cute, nice woman he wants to move in with him? I'm sure she lent a shoulder (and maybe more) as he cried about his abusive girlfriend who is cheating on him.
Oh honey, you really need to see the situation you're in for what it is. If he's telling you about a cute woman he wants to move in, screaming and accusing you of cheating, then storming off...he is going off to sleep with her or some other sympathetic woman he met at the bar.
As for the kids, they'll be fine. Imagine having two mommy's doing all the SM slave work. Heck, you may even grow to appreciate someone to share the burden. Remember Sister Wives, or better yet Charlie Sheen with his goddesses? So winning! Get checked for STD's and make him wear a condom if you do decide to sleep with him again.
He seems to be developing a
He seems to be developing a bit of a pattern you are better off out of this.
He doesn't respect you
He doesn't respect you because you don't respect a sugar momma/daddy, you just use them.
Per this post, you've made some huge mistakes with this low class individual. Learn from them, and get away from this sleezeball ASAP. Find your pride and self respect, and cut your losses.
It looks like a leopard can't
It looks like a leopard can't change his spots... I am assuming that when you say BM still lived there.. that you meant they were still married. That she moved out due to their relationship breaking up because of your dating her husband.
Yeah.. don't bother contacting her.. she might die of laughing at the karma bus running you flat.
But.. I wonder, when he says this to you.. does he mean for you to move out.. or is he trying for some sort of open relationship? I'm guessing not..
I guess it's a lesson in spotting red flags and the danger of dating people who are in relationships with other people already. I would be quickly gathering my things and making a quiet and dignified exit. I would lose his number.. let the new girl have him.
Time to pack up and leave
Time to pack up and leave while you still have a shred of self respect left.
This guy is a loser and a user. You've learned a hard lesson. In the future, don't pay off bills and buy appliances and vacations for boyfriends. Little good will come of that (except for him).
And don't date married men
And don't date married men you meet at the bar.
Listen Drunk or not
Listen drunk or not that is just plain weird! Another woman? and asking her to move in? For what???
My bags would have been packed and I would have been gone before he got home!
Did he move you in before BM moved out? It didn't sound like it from your post. That is really an odd disrespectful thing for him to say.
A major blessing in disguise
A major blessing in disguise
My ex husband, I'm remarried
My ex husband, I'm remarried now, had an affair. I came home from work early to find him in our bed w another woman. After I divorced him, many of my friends who didn't have time for me got in contact again to say they distanced themselves bcuz he was hitting on them. He stole a lot of $ from me, he took a lot of my energy, time, and resources. He was charming as they come, polished manners, well spoken, well educated. The charm and "good times" are all smoke and mirrors to keep you dangling on the hook. It seems real in the moment but it is not. I moved out n never looked back and have never regretted putting my self respect first.
Yep, he is playing par for
Yep, he is playing par for the course to his past behaviors. No surprise there.
Leave, and do call BM's lawyer. Shred this POS and have fund doing it.