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new to here but i have a story i need to be heard

burnt cinders's picture

Well I will start from the begining I met my wife on a internet dating site she accutraly lived about 2 hours from me but she is a sweetheart and that was evident from the begining was one of the first things that atracted me to her so we dated and it did not take to long to know that she was the one for me and her daughter was alittle high strung but she was fairly well behaived around me things moved pretty fast but we my now wife and I felt that we were both each others one for them we had a few dates by ourself and then my wifes mom wouldn't watch my now sd any more when we went out so our dates were with her in tow after a few times going out with my sd it was vary evident that there was far more going on then just being high strung alls my wifes comments were pretty benign " she's a handful" "she's ornry" that kind of stuff but as time went on she let here guard down and quit putting on a show, well we went out to eat we got there 11/2 hours before the resturant closed sd was being what I thought was particuly mouthy with her mother ...boy was I in for it. Anyhow she was just mouthing about everything ordering her food saying things about the patrons in the resturant and being rude to everyone the waitress included all the while she would do or say something and look at me judging my reaction but leaving me sparring me from her bad behavour (that was short lived) but my wife didn't say much which I couldn't believe as she spoke of herself as she wouldn't take shit from anyone (this behavior from my wife is and was after further time spent was obviously a large contributor to sd behavoir lack of discpline spoiling her letting sd walk all over her sets the stage for her mind set as today she is a bulldozer and will try to bully push and walk over just about anyone)but she is letting this little girl be so rude and just downright rotten on top of that she had and still has 5 years later a overwelming sense of entitlement she was extremly demanding my eyes got opened wide open this was part of the package the more I saw of this the more it looked as if my wife had been worn down and that would make a lot of sense the way this child was behaving well she kept this up and all the while barely making it thru her dinner being preoccupied with her attention getting and her obvious enjoyment of being disrespectful to everyone well it came time to close and she was not yet thru her meal having it for over a hour (that is not a typical situation with her at home she will clean her plate and ask for seconds within a few mins) my wife had been trying to get her to speed up eating then she told her that she would just have to take the rest to go she refused yelling and being extremly rude and mouthy ( I sooooo wanted to say something if I would have even thought of pulling a 30 second stint of that type of behavior when I was a kid well I doubt I would have again and I'm sure I would have remembered that afterwards I did not disrespect my mom and dad even as a teen I did not I doubt I would have servived the instance). So with a constant battle during this time she finally finished her supper and there was ice cream that came with the meal and she demanded it this is 30 mins after close I wanted to say that's for people who act appropriately and don't force the resturant to stay open far beyond closing she started yelling where's my ice cream they brought it and the waitress told her when she brought the ice cream "if I would have acted like that when I was a kid I would have got my butt paddled" yeah I know it was inappropriate and she was stepping way over her bounds but really can you blame her ? This pissed my wife off and sd kept up her behavior as if what she said went in one ear and right out the other or at least that's how she acted at the moment so 20 mins later she finally finished the ice cream and we left as soon as we got outside my wife kinda flipped out saying can you believe what she said she had no right to say that then she declaired we are not eating there again and only after the waitress had parted ways did we go back I just wanted to say I didn't blame her one bit but I held my tounge on the way home sd started yelling and screaming at my wife I could only hold out for a while and then I had had enough I said " you will not speak to your mother like that you will not treat anyone like that in my car after you have been taken out for dinner no more or I will not take you out for dinner again she was instantly quiet suprizingly my wife seemed releived (she was this would wane back and forth where she wanted to be stood up for and saying I. Didn't need to say anything it all depended on her mood it took me awhile to pick up on this ) well at the time she was staying with her parents while her dad rebuilt a farm house so we got to their house and in front of sd my wife told her mother about what happened with the waitress leaving out the parts of the story of sd and he horrible behavior then this blew me away she(sd) chimed in and almost got tearful the lady was mean to me I couldn't believe the whole situation this was a toned down prelude to what was to come I will post more later tonight or tomarrow

zebra.wings's picture

oh good luck. sadly I see this spirling worse. talk to my fiance' I'm sure he feels like he shouldh ave run away lol my two boys are little monsters and instigated by their older stepbrother...its chaos. if she's being a shit now, she will be even more of a shit later..

the_evil_one's picture

It doesn't get better. I'm dealing with a 17 year old version of this shit, the more you try to solve the problem the more your wife will back the daughter up. It's a stupid little loop single parents force you into. You must act like you are ready to help raise the kids, but you will not be trusted with final decision on anything, you will be overruled and you will be the evil step parent for even being around....but you better not be unhappy about it or you'll hurt precious' feelings.

herewegoagain's picture

Your wife might be worn out but sadly, she created that little monster by being "too nice"...my DH is also "too nice" and it is me who sets boundaries and rules in this house...we even have a few neighbors who have commented on the fact that he is TOO nice and I have to do the parenting...I'm worn out from doing it...good luck...it really doesn't get better as far as I know...sigh

On the bright side, being that you are a man, you won't get the "gold digger, you take away from my daddy and thus from me" attitude to top it off...

burnt cinders's picture

Ok first off I didn't make it clear in the last post, but that was almost 5 years ago not to long after my wife and I met. So now you have a understanding of the time line I will pick up where I left off yesterday. So yeah she pulled the whole poor me, the lady was mean act and her gm was instantly pissed about the whole situation. Well to put into prespective she can do no wrong in her gm's eyes she also said well we will not eat there and she was half tempted to call the owner ... she went off on the whole tyraid and I look over at sd and she was beaming you wouldn't believe it. The next morning (yes I stayed the night as I didn't have to work I was off for the weekend and dw asked me if I could watch her as she had to work her long shift like 24 hours her mom couldn't. Well this would quickly become standard practice we moved in together and became the ready made babysitter that will come more into light later on and I will get to that) I came down and sd and gm were having breakfeast and who do you think they were talking about? Me, ok so I didn't know what to do but then she said that I was mean and yelled at her and she thought I was mean to mama" that was it. I went down the rest of the stairs making sure they heard me I came into the kitchen and they were quiet and I said" I heard what you said and you need to tell the rest of the story and I want you to tell me how at all I was mean to your mom?" She couldn't believe I was calling her out she was speachless her gm was also mad I said this in a calm and polite manner mind you, she said nothing. So I filled in the blanks and I started from the resturant on and I outed all she had done she was mad she started saying "I did not " over and over trying to drowned me out as I was talking, thing is her gm did act at all surprized this will make sense later on and then she (gm) said well she's only 6, I was then speachless so once again I got my eyes opened. I then gathered my thoughts pulled myself out of being stunned and asked sd again " please explain how I was mean to your mother she just looked at the table and I asked again she then said "idk" once again her gm had a pissed off look on her face. She didn't like me calling her on her bs. I got up and went back to the br and call my wife told her what happened and she just said that's how my mother is and sd does that a lot . I said why do you guys let her act that way? Here it comes folks the ever beat to death more like beat to hell and back so many times for all these children that lack discipline and get spoiled with things and let them do what ever they want act how ever they want treat other people, animals(oh yes she did terrible things and still does when she can get away with it to pets this also I will get to later) her and others property here it comes "well she has adha and odd" the most over used excuss for the latest gen poorly behaived children at that time I was nieve to this and I accturally felt bad for. Being so upset with her and her behavior it was like she couldn't help it ,ok well I didn't know that and I asked dw why she didn't tell me from the get go and she said she didn't want to scare me off. Ok ok well yeah that wasn't right but it happened so I. Decided to do some research on both of those conditions I did quite a bit and the more I. Read. And observed over the next couple of months it was evident that there was a lot more going on a lot of it was all the enabling done by dw and gm. She was devious and so sneaky and here is the thing around certin people or say we were at a gas station(this happened) she was yelling and being extreamly disrespectful to both dw and I and a sheriff deputy pulls up next to us and she saw him and shut up and sat back it was like someone flicked a switch huh... same thing with her ggp's... funny how she can just put herself in check in the company of the right people ADHA?ODD? KIND OF ODD HUH...well putting this aside her behavior sometimes there are glimpses of hope or so I thought she told me that she that someone was being mean and bulling some of her classmates and she said she stood up to that person well that person turned out to be her! We found out she was bulling at school great right this was acturaly a few months after she told me that that we found out she was doing this. At this point my wife and I knew that we were right for each other and we both were vary much in love and we decided to get married (I know hind sight is always 20/20 and that this was far to fast and I should have eveluated the situation w the sd but I didn't and I thought that was just going to be a chalange in with the two of us that we could be united and hopefully get sd on the right track and get her tought about respect and obediance and here's. A thought, do onto others as you would want done onto you! Wow was I waaaayyy off as to what was going to happen . Anyhow we moved in together in the newly rebuilt house (I started helping her dad after the second date and put in long hours on my days off also watching sd on those days) oh yes I quit a great job and moved over 2 hours from my family freinds and my home town anyhow just pointing out I took large steps to move down here is what I'm saying I took a second shift job that I absolutly hated but it was the only thing arround at the time so I took it, dw then decided to go back to school for nursing so here I was thrown into being the one with sd all the time I then found a 1 st shift job so we wouldn't have to depend on her parents to watch her as they were not happy about this so I was taking care of sd for the most part dw was working weird hours and then going to school and was not at home much well this is the point in the story where it really starts to get bad. She turned up the shit-o-metter way up she ramped up the stuff she was doing she started going between her gm and I lying saying all kinds of stuff saying I was talking about gp and gm and saying bad things and being mean to her and she big shocker here didn't want me to marry mama and it just got worse and worse from there she was as defiant as she most possibly cand and calling names and telling me she hated me and hoped her mom didn't marry me and she hoped I died the progressed in to" you know I can take a knife and kill you when you sleep" this is from a child that brags and laughs about when she had a guinny pig she squezed it until it could sqweek anymore and peed its self and then a few days after that died. And I had cought her tourturing the dog and cat holding them by a leg and swinging them around like a lasso so when she said that it freaked me out I didn't want to wake up and find her stabbing me or what ever so up went the knives. That pissed her off yep it pissed her off. Well I have to go I will post more later

lexaprotakemeaway's picture

Holy shit. I don't think I really need to hear anymore. You need to get the hell out of that situation, and fast. Leave her and her sociopathic kid, and wish her luck finding some other schmuck to con into the next effin marriage!!!!