Welp I went to mini golf with SS8 and SO yesterday. As expected it took until after 8pm when we started at 5:45 pm leaving the house. So no way that we would've been done and back at the house on Thursday for our couples night. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SS8 was doing ok for the first few minutes there. Then he got an attitude and started walking off. We played with SS going first, then me, then SO. We told him quite a few times nicely that he needed to wait on us to move to the next hole. We explained that he needed to pay attention when other people were playing after probably 5 or so times of telling him nicely, he walked off where we couldn't see him and I took a page from the child psychologist and said "heyyyyy, we have told you more than a few times now that you need to stay with the group, get back over here" SO then added calmly. "stay with the group and you are not playing the next hole, you'll now be after me."

SS says "tell me when it's my turn" SO:"no i will not, you're going to pay attention" SS ended up accidentally hitting his ball down a ramp where it couldn't be reached to continue playing.
SO was pissed. He told SS when we got inside "i'm extremely disappointed in you" made him "get in the car!" SO then calmed himself down and I said "we don't need to let this ruin the rest of the night, lets model for him healthy communication and not yell"

"ss get out of the car"
SO starts speaking to him about this is supposed to be a family activity and he made a fun event a sad and stressful event. He asked him if he wanted to play all games by himself from now on? For the rest of his life just play everything alone? If not he better get with the program.
I took the child psychologist advice and explained the following
"SS we are a team, the three of us, and when one team member decides to leave then our family activities aren't gonna go as planned. Do you like when people cheer you on and have fun watching you putt? Well we do also, b/c that's the point of the outting, to have fun together as a family and participate together. What are we going to do differently to enjoy the rest of our night as a family?"
He looked like he was thinking for quite a while ... gave him some time and then I said "ok well what I want to see for the rest of the night is that the three of us participate together and have a good attitude. The rest of the night can be fun so let's make that happen." Then we did a team huddle with hands in the middle and all and a "go team" and went to dinner.
He behaved himself the rest of the night except for everything I touched SO he had to say "Dad, Dad... (random shit here)"

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA And COUPLES night is tonight. dun dun dun DAHHHHHH

coffee has kicked in. Glad SO got a taste of what I've been dealing with with SS - B/c i was totally relaxed and he was the one pissed at the kid this time. HA