Just looking for some general advice on relative "fairness" and what I should do in a sticky situation.

I have known this horse trainer for about 3-4 years.  I first kept a horse I purchased at her boarding barn.. paid faithfully each month and paid her to give me lessons and work with the horse.  Ulitmately I decided to sell that horse and she helped me sell him and I paid her a 10% commission.

Fast forward a year or so later.. I went back to her for a horse she had listed for sale.  Paid her asking price plus paid for 30 more days of training.. had about 5500 in the horse at that time.  Horse was young... but she said he was quiet and I rode him once at her place.. and then brought him home to my place..  Well.. as we knkow life gets in the way.. horse didn't seem totally quiet the first few days.. so I just worked with him on the ground etc.. but he wasn't as settled as he could have been.  I had hopes of finding someone to come help me at home (I was a few hours from her place now.. so that wasn't an option).. but found that difficult.. horse becomes a pasture ornament for about a year and a half.. (during which my DH and I both ended up with some health issues etc.. ).  

Finally got to the point where I told my DH we needed to sell him if we weren't going to be able to use him.  (side note.. had a neighbor that gave the horse a lot of treats.. which made him more nippy than he should have been.. long story hard to get this guy to stop doing it.. but felt getting the horse gone would be part of that solution).

So.. called this trainer.. hey.. can you sell him?  he hasn't been doing much of anything in a year or so.. so would need refresher.  

She said.. "yes.. I have a market for a horse like that.. can probably get you what you paid. I might buy him myself and rell or. shoot.. I may even want to keep him for myself or ride him through the summer and sell him as a hunt horse in the fal.. I will come get him tomorrow".

No outright talk of comission.. but I paid 10% prior.. and she made it seem like a quick sale was probably likely. or she would buy him and resell him.. or maybe keep him.  

She comes to get him and when she ties him in the trailer.. he spooked and ended up running around the property like a moron for over an hour.. not letting us catch him... yeah.. not his finest moment.. but the WORST thing he had ever done that I have ever seen... and I think it was that he wasn't used to the trailer and she just did it too quick and had him tied tight and he got scared.. then us trying to catch him.. and she got mad that I suggested using food in a bucket to lure him.. it was a bit of a crap show.. but we got him loaded.

Anyway.. I don't hound her for info.. figure I will give her time to asess him at her place and that she will let me know what she thinks when it's convenient to her..

About 3 week in she sends me a text.. he is settling in.. ground is frozen but she will try to ride him soon.

It's 3 weeks more.. I finally contact her to see how he is doing.  oh.. he is walk, trot cantering fine.. comes galloping to her in the field.. all good.  

another month.. and she says.. he is riding ok.. but not settling as much as she hoped.. (again.. it's literally weeks between me hearing feedback and nothing bad really)  Maybe she would send him to a sale?  She said she thought he could sell between 3 and 7K.. probably in the higher end.. basically.  

Then radio silence again..

Finally she says he sold.. but she "didn't know the sales math".. and then come to find out... SHE didn't take him to a sale.. she sent him to some sale out of state... so she had to pay to have him hauled there.. fee for the lady.. fees to the sale house etc.. AND the lady let him get sold for less than she thought he should have gotten.

She said she would be getting check from the sale barn the next week.. would let me know.

again.. I patiently wait for an update.. a bit irritated that she didn't give me full disclosure on what she was doing.. but hoped for the best.

Horse sold for 4300 she said (later said 4200.. so story changed a bit).. gave me a rundown of fees that totaled about 900 bucks.. so I asked what she thought was fair.. would 3K be fair.. she got kind of "well.. i'm losing my ass on this.. but that's fine)

over the next coupld MONTHS as I try to follow up on where my money is from the horse.. she starts giving me all sorts of extra things that went wrong.. he broke round pen panels.. broke a gate.. kicked a farm hand.. she had to send him out to another trainer to ride (which she never told me about.... which seems to be a pattern at this point).... she will just send some other horses to the kill auction (obv to make me feel bad about wanting to be paid for the horse I trusted her to sell for me.. a horse that she had sold to me and already made money on once before)..

She doesn't have stamps.. that goes on for weeks.. I offer to send her a self addressed envelope.. weeks again later and I still didn't have anything.. 

Anyway.. I finally got the envelope from her.. a signed blank check..........

I sent her a text... asking her if she wanted me to fill it out.. she said.. yes.. that I could write it for "whatever.. but she has already lost money.. even if I didn't take a dime for the horse)..a horse she supposedly sold for over 4K.. she made "nothing".. 

I wrote back that I thought we had agreed on $3K which was like 1300 less than the horse brought at auction.. and honestly and while I didn't say it to her,.. I felt that she didn't give me full disclosure on all of it.. I didn't think I should lose more because she never told me she was sending him OUT OF STATE.. I thought she was taking somewhere more local herself.. she made the decision to send him with someone.. and later tells me she sent him to a trainer (she is a trainer herself).. I didn't "OK" those extra costs.. and I'm sorry her panels got broken.. but as a horse trainer.. those kinds of things are par for the course.. sometimes a horse will break your equipment.. it's not like I had any choice in how she was handling him.. who knows what caused it all..  he never broke out of my pens or fences?

so she says if I write a check for $3K it will pretty  much wipe her out.. and she has lost apparently thousands on this horse.. which.. I'm not really 100% believing. and if it was that bad.. why didn't she tell me before?  

The worst she told me is he got nippy and that was due to the treats.. now she is saying he got "mean".. and honestly.. he was not much different in attitude than when I got him.. so I feel like she maybe wasn't totally honest when she sold him to begin with.

So.. sorry for the long saga.. this has been going on since early FEBRUARY.. I "think" the horse was sold in April (never provided any documentation ... just going by what she is saying to me).  She has been stringing the "check in the mail" game with me since May timeframe.

So.. do I write the check for $3k and hope it cashes... knowing I may never get another check from her again?

Do I write the check for some amount less.. 2500? 

Do I just let her off the hook and take no money?

I don't worry about working with her again.. after this experience.. no way.. but I am trying to be fair.. and it kind of pisses me off now she is expecting I'm going to reimburse her for trainer fees to someone else.. months after the fact when I was told nothign about it.. being asked to replace equipment when I hadn't heard a thing about that either till I started "hounding" her about pmt.. 

I feel like I'm just hearing a lot of stories.

And... I also am not interested in going to court over this... I would love to know more of the truth of what he really sold for.. but in the end.. I don't think it would get me far.. to go that route.. and honestly.. I just want to take my small amount of money.. whatever that is and put it behind me.

what would you guys do? what would you write the check for? or would you believe her full sob story and let her keep it all?

(just a side note.. my DH is out of work right now.. this money really would help us make ends meet)