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Should BM share FAFSA info with DH?

lieutenant_dad's picture

I'm curious by others who have gone through this on your thoughts.

We were working with OSS this weekend to pay his enrollment fees for college this fall. For various reasons, BM has not completed the FAFSA form for OSS, so in our process of getting everything else situated, we looked into FAFSA to see if DH could do anything.

Looks like he can't, but apparently there are some questions that DH is supposed to answer on FAFSA? BM says there aren't, FAFSA says there are, and DH doesn't have access to any of it.

So how much should DH expect BM to share with him in regards to FAFSA? I know BM has to put her tax info, and I can understand not wanting to share that information with an ex. On the other hand, DH is going to be the one helping OSS fund college, so it seems odd that he is kept out of it.

Thoughts on this?


Felicity0224's picture

I'm curious about this as well since we'll be in the same boat with SD year after next. We already have planned to pay her tuition, because BM is worthless and doesn't believe in higher education. But reallllly don't want our info accessible to BM via the FAFSA. It's possible our personal finances will be separate by then if we divorce, but we'll still own three businesses together and I have no desire for BM to know how much we make. 

Disneyfan's picture

I didn't share any financial information with son's dad.  

BUT, other than $1000 his freshman year, I paid for everything not covered by Grant's and scholarships.  Since I wasn't asking him to help out financially, I didn't feel the need to share information.

If BM isn't willing to share the information with your husband,  then I say he keeps his wallet shut.  OR, tell the kid he will help with books, meal plan and/or housing if he lives off campus (not in mom's home).  Those things will be paid directly to the school, a landlord (not mom) or Amazon(textbooks).

lieutenant_dad's picture

Oh, OSS is going to school 90 minutes away, so he's living on campus. Any money will be paid directly to the school. Our concern is that BM won't get these things taken care of and screw OSS out of grants, scholarships (he has one that is relient on FAFSA being submitted per our state, or that's how I understand it), and loans (I think FAFSA is required to apply for student and parent loans?).

It has been a minute since I did FAFSA, and DH used his GI Bill, so neither of us are super versed and BM hasn't been much help. BM won't be helping financially, so I don't think she sees the urgency in this like DH does.

Plus, the less DH had to rely on BM, the better.

SMto2's picture

My understanding is the NCP's info is not included on the FAFSA. We did not give our info to BM for either SS. We completed it earlier this year for DS 18, as it's required for his merit-based scholarship even though he doesn't qualify for anything need-based. 

Dawn-Moderator's picture

so Dh did the FAFSA based on our household.

Bm was not involved with Ss's FAFSA at all.

She also didn't contribute one cent to his college costs.

SteppedOut's picture

I believe my son recieves an email outlining what was awarded/what is available to him. Can SS access his email? 

The NCP does not have to answer any questions. 

ITB2012's picture

XH and I talked about who should fill out the FAFSA stuff for our child based on finances and "who the kid lives with more" and determined it was appropriate for XH to do it. Other than knowing it was done and knowing what the results were, I did not ask for the information. It's not my business. We talked vaguely about our assests and debts and it was clear that XH was the appropriate person.

ndc's picture

Since BM is the parent with whom SS lives the most, none of your DH's info is required for FAFSA, only info for BM and her husband (if she has one) will be necessary.  If SS's school is one that requires Profile, yours and your DH's info will be required for that.  It sounds like SS knows where he'll be going; is it a FAFSA only school?  In either event, I don't think you need to see BM's information.  You do need to make sure that she has submitted everything she needs to, though, or SS won't be able to get anything (even federal loans) other than merit aid.  It sounds like BM is pretty useless and financially clueless, so your SS might have a tough time getting her to do what she needs to do.  Does your DH have any leverage with which to exert some pressure on BM?

lieutenant_dad's picture

Thanks folks. I had assumed DH didn't need to see it, but had read in thr FAQ there were questions about both parents, not just CP, so that was the confusing bit.

OSS is just going to have to stay on top of this, as is DH. DH doesn't really have any leverage to make her do it; she just needs to get it done sooner rather than later. And at this point, if she isn't going to help finance college (and she won't; I'm under no illusion to think she would or could), then the least she can do is get the FAFSA turned in so OSS isn't screwed. Even if he doesn't get anything at this point as far as grants, he needs to be able to take out loans.


ETA: Yes, I think BM would sabotage OSS's chances of going to college. Yes, I think she'd come up with some sort of excuse as to why FAFSA doesn't get filled out. She has facilitated OSS up to this point with college, but she has kept DH out of it despite needing him to pay for things. DH and I have both made it explicitly clear to OSS that he needs to inform DH of all things related to college and high school graduation. Our funding of anything is conditional on being informed. BM keeping things quiet unless directly prodded worries me that she's being shady. She could just be forgetful, but for someone not working to be a SAHM, I expect more from her on this front. If DH and I can figure this sh*t out working full-time, she can with 6-8 hours every weekday free from any responsibility.

ndc's picture

I'm not sure what type of aid OSS will be looking for, or whether BM's income will be low enough for him to qualify for a Pell grant. But if it becomes apparent that she won't complete the form, OSS should complete his section and contact his school's financial aid office to see if he can at least get an unsubsidized federal loan without her information. It's possible but not a given.