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On this episode of "Will BM Eff OSS Over For College?"...

lieutenant_dad's picture

BM has STILL not filled out FAFSA. The excuse this time? OSS has been super busy with homework and hasn't had a chance to sit with her and do it.

YET, last week after school, they managed to go get senior pictures done. And she had them the previous weekend. If I remember correctly, FAFSA took like 30 minutes for me because I didn't have the financial stuff to input. Seems like a BS excuse to me, but whatever.

I do think I made BM's eyes pop out of her head, though. OSS has admissions day at his college at the end of the month, and BM didn't mention it to DH until Friday. Well, seems like something that the two people actually paying for the education should go to, yes? Apparently not since the plan was for BM to go with her new DH and both SSs. I've yet to figure out why YSS should have to go, but whatever.

So DH and I will also be going. Did I mention, too, that OSS is going to my alma mater? Yeah, I get that I'm not the parent, but MAYBE it's beneficial to take the only college grad "parent" with you, especially since they went to school there. And yes, it was also made ABUNDANTLY clear to OSS that his job is to inform us of these things, so he better get better at it.

Oh, did I also mention that BM told DH that OSS wants a fairly expensive birthday present, and thinks they should give it to him? I actually piped up on that one and effectively said "not with our money; he can try a cheaper version of it when WE take him on vacation". Don't think that pleased her, but don't really care, either.

Like, lady, the kid NEEDS things for college. A microwave and mini-fridge are on his 18th birthday list. How about you look at buying him some sheets or something?!

Oh wait, that's right, they don't have money and her husband "doesn't want her to work". *eyes roll down the f**king street*

DH is trying to give BM the benefit of the doubt (ugh), but my general thoughts are that BM wants to be in charge of all the "fun" end of school stuff and not bother with the ACTUAL crap that needs to get done.


ndc's picture

Oh boy, this is going to be a long, rocky road. 

It seems that OSS is more mature than BM. It's also HIS education and his future, so he's going to have to be responsible for it. He needs to nag BM to get the FAFSA done. He needs to keep your DH apprised of all dates. And he needs to 100% understand that if he doesn't get all that accomplished, there isn't a money tree available to him to save the day.  

BM was an idiot to get married right before her kid went to college. Now her DH's income and assets have to be included on FAFSA - one more layer of aggravation. Do you guys have any clue what he makes?  Has your DH told OSS how much he can give him for college and on what conditions? I would think yes, since that is necessary information for him in choosing a school he can afford.

Lieutenant, I hope this process starts going more smoothly for you, but with this BM it doesn't seem likely.

tog redux's picture

Yes, like the tux jacket, this falls on OSS, too.  He needs to be bugging his mother to fill it out, and doing whatever he can to fill it out on his own.  If not, then perhaps he can go cheaply to community college. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

I'm in agreeance with you all the OSS needs to light a fire under BM, too. But it also sucks for him that the thing he NEEDS he has to beg and plead for, while sh*t he barely cares about it taking the front on her brain. I think DH needs to step in, too, and light a fire under her.

He has worked VERY hard to get to go to college. He graduates high school with an Associate's Degree-equivalent. He has a full academic scholarship. DH and FIL both have money set aside in 529s for him (won't cover everything, though). It's just so f**king stupid on her part because all she has to do is fill out ONE DAMN FORM. One. Form. That's literally it!

And yes, she was a f**king idiot for getting married right before OSS went to college, and I think he's upset by that, too. He went from being able to get Pell grants to nada. Not that I liked the idea of him getting that kind of assistance because of how much DH makes, but it's still the idea that the ONE THING she could "give" him monetarily was also taken away due to her selfishness.

I hear all of you, I really do. I just feel bad for the kid. He is doing his part, and now he has to essentially do her part, too. 

tog redux's picture

It's too bad - and yes, DH should bug her too. But it's probably past time for your OSS to admit to himself who his mother is, and protect himself accordingly.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I think I filled out my FAFSA by myself in virtually no time at all.  She's really trying to cripple SS isn't she?..