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NOW BM wants to help with college...

lieutenant_dad's picture

*rubs temples* Not sure why I didn't see this coming, but I didn't.

We are one week away from OSS moving to college. For those of you who have moved kids into college, especially this year through COVID, tell me what you were doing one week prior? Because I'm hoping you aren't just NOW asking the kid what they need for school.

THAT'S RIGHT! DH and I have spent the last 6 months getting OSS prepped for school. Constant questions about paperwork and financial aid since there wasn't an orientation where this all got covered. Making him aware of his funds for college and figuring out how much he'll need (proud moment here: he got his entire first year covered, books included!). Getting him a bank account set up and teaching him how to deposit the grad gift money he got. Taking him shopping for the things he needs for college. Getting him ready to take his driving test (COVID has really screwed up him getting license). Find him a place to get a COVID test. Taking him to the university to get his dorm room set up.

Ya know, ALL THE BASIC STUFF parents have to do to get their kid ready to go.

What has BM done? She filled at FAFSA - after MONTHS of prodding her to do it. And that's it. Literally it. No cash to OSS, no talks with how she'll help him with school, no checking in with him about paperwork. Jack all of fracking NOTHING.

That is, until this weekend when she asks OSS what else he needs for his dorm room. Nothing, OSS tells her. She apparently starts having a bit of mommy guilt panic and starts rambling off crap OSS had already said no to TWO MONTHS AGO WHEN WE TOOK HIM SHOPPING.

SWEET LORD BM, you're two months too late to be USEFUL. Congrats, you're taking away DH getting to drop off OSS at college. I hope it stabs you directly in the heart when you see his dorm room is already set up and another woman GOT TO DO WHAT YOU F**KING DIDN'T BOTHER TO TRY AND DO!

AND, DH is going up the weekend OSS is there anyway to drop off his car and make sure he has his books and anything else that BM can't be bothered to pay for so OSS takes off on the right foot.

Jesus lady, this has been MONTHS of working with OSS to get him to this point. You swooping in at the last minute trying to figure out how to be relevant isn't exactly helpful. Plus, you've been UNEMPLOYED most of the summer - how have you NOT had time to do these things when DH and I are BOTH working?!

DH, OSS, and I have known and acknowledged since the beginning that BM wasn't going to be useful. I think it has hurt OSS that his mom hasn't been the female voice in all of this. But, he has even admitted that college was something they weren't talking about. Getting him prepped for life isn't something they were talking about. He has been worried about flying the nest, and the person he SHOULD be able to talk to has been too self-absorbed to even notice OR want to talk about it OR modify her behavior so that she IS the one he wants to talk to about it.

The thing she COULD do is take OSS to get his COVID test this weekend. Who wants to bet when DH checks in with OSS today to find out if he got it that he says BM didn't take him (mind you, the clinic is literally less than 10 minutes from her place)? The odds are NOT in BM's favor.


SteppedOut's picture

But I am sure she will post pictures all over social media making it look like she was part of it all! 

MissK03's picture

This will be my future but, BM won't even fill out FAFSA.

The kids first day of school this year falls on a morning SO isn't home. During normally school stuff I have to make sure all 3 skids are out, get myself ready, dogs out and feed, and be out of the door by 7 3 days without SO home. SO goes to work early and the last few years school started on his day off. He texts BM a picture of the kids on their first day and ya know, later that day (because I'm nosy and look) it's her cover story on Facebook. 

I am thinking about saying oops I accidentally deleted the pic of them this year because it will be my job to do it. Sorry! 

JRI's picture

This reminded me of planning SD's wedding.  I did the entire thing, BM did zero.  That included touring reception sites, interacting with the new inlaws who were helping, shopping for wedding dress, throwing a shower (officially hosted by DD, bridesmaid), shopping for bridesmaid dresses, ordering and sending out invitations, food, flowers, booze, on and on.  All while working full time, having 5 kids here and attending night school.  BM did show up for the wedding and acted as Mother of the Bride.


Aunt Agatha's picture

If you switch skids genders, we are living almost the same thing!

After all the hubbub and (started pre-Covid) unemployed BM not being able to help provide much of anything, she of course had a hissy fit and insisted she take SD to the university.  Even staying the night (not necessary) so they can explore the college town which you know - pandemic and the campus is closed to non-students. 

I feel for you Lt. Dad!

Aunt Agatha's picture

Nothing to see here

shamds's picture

i’m a divorced single mum of an adult child is real hard us a fulltime job?? Thats why she couldn’t do anything till now... that and the fact she wants to take the credit for everything!!

don’t be surprised the day she drops him off and takes a selfie or wefie with caption:

”i helped my baby move in to college today... my baby is finally growing up”