Update on Hating Valentines Day
If you haven't read my blog I HATE VDAY read that before this.
On my lunch hour I was on the phone with DH. I asked him if we could do something for Vday on Friday, Saturday or Monday. He said Friday he has to go to bed early to be at work at midnight, Saturday he gets off work at noon and is picking SD up for an overnight then taking her out Sunday, and Monday he is working a double shift. I told him to forget it. I am going to give him the ring I got him, but I am leaving it on his pillow with a card. I am devastated and upset. I have thought maybe he had a surprise planned but when I was pouring my heart out over the phone to try to convince him to spend time with ME at least one night without Atilla, he said nothing. If there is something planned I will be really surprised. I decided while he is out with Atilla on Vday, I am going to work on my novel, see if I can get Chapter 15 finished...
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I feel your pain... I read
I feel your pain... I read the other post- seems messed up if you ask me. I've never understood the whol Valentine's day thing anyway... so we're snowed in together today, and I hear DH making plans to be out of town Saturday... He hangs up, and I remind him I have to be out of town Sunday for an event with SD, and he's like "so?" Men are clueless! And it can't be because he doesn't know, cuz SD has a pink and red chain link thingy hanging on the fridge, counting down the days...
"I HAD to pick the road less traveled..."
Ugh, I'm still APALLED that
Ugh, I'm still APALLED that he's spousifying Atilla and treating you like a child. There's no excuse for that. Valentines Day, cheesy and commercialized though it is, is for adults to celebrate the love that they have for each other, children have nothing to do with it. I always pick up a card & a box of those candy hearts for SD but that's it. BF will get her a little box of chocolates or a flower but mine's ALWAYS bigger.
Can I ask what you're going to say in the card? Are you going to act like everything's fine or let him know that what he's doing to you is crap?
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
Fading, I told my DH about
Fading,
I told my DH about your blog, and he thinks your DH is waaaaayyyyy out of line for the roses to BM, the 300 jewelry for SD, and nothing for you.
My DH has the disneyland dad thing bad with SD, but is recently starting to put his foot down and come to his senses.
I guess what I am saying is if MY dh says it's bad, it's bad. Just thought maybe you would like a males perspective on this.
I don't know how your relationship is normally, but this is absolutely NOT COOL.
DO you guys have a joint account where you can take money and buy yourself something really nice instead?
~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~
Fading, I read your blog -
Fading, I read your blog - that frickin' moron!!!
"Oh and he put an order in at the flowershop to have 1/2 dozen roses delivered to BM at work from Atilla for Vday."
You deserve better than that - I'd shove the ring up his a$$!! I see no reason the 3 of you can't go to Olive Garden together - besides, V-Day is for love and couples - not about treating the children and ignoring the spouses. Not to mention the amount of money he spent on a 5 yr. old!
I am so sorry - big HUGS.
I see what you are saying,
I see what you are saying, but she is getting completely shunned for SD on what is supposed to be a couples holiday. And he went all out for SD but zero for her. I am sure if he got SD a small box of chocolates and Fading a large box there probably wouldn't be an issue.
~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~
Im so sorry to hear what you
Im so sorry to hear what you are going through....Is this just bad timing? What about Olive Garden, Are you going to join DH and SD?
~Life's a Journey-So take a deep breath and enjoy the ride~
Fading - I am hesitant to
Fading - I am hesitant to write this because I don't want to get your hopes up... but do you think it's possible that your DH is playing a game on you? Telling you this is for SD when it's really for you? Would he really be so ignorant to get a 5 year old girl a necklace and diamond earrings???
I don't know. Either he is the dumbest sh*t on the block... or???
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
Same here...I think there's
Same here...I think there's something he planned for her. Its just too far out there doing what he's doing.
Wow is all i have to say.
Wow is all i have to say. Last year my BF got me flowers and some other things. One of the things that he got me was a box of chocs. He got his daughter a VDAY gift also. This is what I told him. VDAY is for LOVERS!!! Its part of the courting process in a relationship so if you want your daughter to be your lover or you are courting her then by all means get her something while i call the cops on you. I told him that i thought it was creepy that he bought his daughter a VDAY present. Dont really care who agrees with this its how i feel about it. She is his daughter not his lover therefore no VDAY present. What hit my BF is that i told him that his actions were creepy. Your hubby should be spending time with his lover (you) not his daughter.
Eh, I don't think it's
Eh, I don't think it's creepy that he got his daughter something for valentine's day.
My parents used to buy us cards and candy. And my DH gets his daughter a single rose.
Now, what FADING's Dh is doing is just downright creepy.
~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~
my mom always got us
my mom always got us gifts...still does. and i got something for SD and my niece. God, last year I made my brother a mug when we did pottery! lol. I see the day about being about love...not just for lovers. if it was just that, trust me Hallmark would not have made allt he specific cards i bought for this weekend!
my bf got the cutest engraved snowglobe for SD. it is awesome and she will love it! he will get me something too...always does something lovely.
why begrudge a dad saying i love you to a kid?
Like i said. I view vday as
Like i said. I view vday as a day for lovers therefore i think its creepy when parent buy thier kids anumals with hearts that say i love you and heart shaped boxes of choc. Here is the Def of vday
Saint Valentine's Day[1] (commonly shortened to Valentine's Day[1][2][3]) is an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.[
Did anyone catch the love and affections between intimate companions???????????????
Again just my view oh and websters.
seems like if you begrudge a
seems like if you begrudge a kids gift when you get one yourself, you are just irrationally jealous of a child.
Youre right ... Im
Youre right ... Im irriationally jealous of a man getting a gift for a child when its a holliday for two people who are in love. I guess you are going to ingnore what VDAY actaully stands for because you dont agree with my view on it. Thats fine. Bring on the firing squad. Let me just say again. Its a day celebrated by two intimite companions. When I hear the word intimite i think sexual so yes i have a problem with guys buying gifts for their daughters on a sexually based holliday.
You know, my guess is that
You know, my guess is that LMR wouldn't be bothered by him getting a small gift for his child if he had ALSO gotten an appropriate gift for HER -- and for GOD'S SAKE no gift for the BM!!!
I don't know -- frankly, the 1/2 dozen roses for BM and nothing for you would make me so freaking angry that I would move out. Granted, there are still some days before the holiday, but I would wait and see what happens. If the holiday really comes and goes without anything appropriate, I would tell him I'm done and leave. That's just too much to take.
Now, I say that even though I'm in a relationship where we don't celebrate Valentine's Day at all. Honestly, it will be amazing if we even say "Happy Valentine's Day" to each other. BUT: we are both totally fine with that, and he for SURE does not give anyone else gifts for the holiday. CHRIST!!!!
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
I don't think this is that
I don't think this is that serious of an issue.
Not everyone sees Valentine's Day the same way.
We can agree on that. And we can all agree that Fading's DH is out of line. Let's leave it at what we CAN agree on.
~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~
hmm.... For him to try so
hmm.... For him to try so hard to prove how special the day is to SD to the extreme of including BM in it and not his wife would be counterproductive. He'd being cancelling out all the work he's doing if he doesn't have something planned for you.
I'm forever the optomist. I still think he has secret plans for you. I'll be very sad for you if he doesn't.
That evening when he comes
That evening when he comes home from his special day out with his little girl and wants to get all close to you to celebrate Valentine's day in private, tell him to go sleep with his date. Ugh!! Friggin' Moron!!! And to top it all by buying BM roses "from" their little spawn. Hon, I would sell that ring, get a room in a very high end hotel, get a massage, order yourself a filet from the room service menu and tip the bellboy VERY well.
______________________________________
Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
So, when he comes home..
So, when he comes home.. and wants to have S*X I would tell him he should have thought about it before taking a 5 yr old out on a date instead of his ACTUAL wife. I would be f n pissed about the dinner plans w/o you.
I am sorry. I dont know how you are staying w/him. I dont normally advice people to divorce, but christ.. she is ONLY 5. It can only get worse from here on out. If he wants to wine and dine a 5 yr old.. then he would be sleeping on the couch, and I would be chucking that ring at his god damn head. NO JOKE!
What I would do, is go ahead, order a nice big flower arrangement and send it to yourself.. signed.. YOU KNOW WHO!! so you know that even if this man cant show you it.. you can show yourself that you love yourself!! Then, I would go out and buy myself SOMETHING NICE! And then I would proceed to order in a DELICIOUS MEAL (not sure that you would want to be in a restaurant w/lovey dovey people) and proceed to drink and have a great time w/o him.
Do you have any single GF that want to celebrate the day BLACK Day w/them? doing anti VDay things?
SCREW HIM is what I am saying. you can do better.. you deserve better!
I thought about the fact
I thought about the fact that maybe it was a joke and the jewelry was for me but then I saw the card he put it with and it is for SD. I'm not asking for much, even if was just sitting on the couch cuddling watching a movie and eating subway, I'd be grateful. I'm still trying to decide what to put in the card, but i will let him know how upset I am that he would rather showering Atilla in gifts and such than just spend an evening with me. I am still going to give him the ring regardless because I kind of feel like playing the guilt card and seeing what he does with it.
~*Fading*~
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•..(,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»
"I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
frustrated I do have 1 gf
frustrated I do have 1 gf who is a hater of Vday just in general. But unfortunately she is in Tokyo for a semester
I figured it would be the perfect time to catch up on my writing so that one day I might be able to buy myself a new car every time he upsets me. DH is usually really sweet and kind but more recently he's gotten into this 'Atilla will never get it from her mother' and 'Atilla doesn't get to do this much' kick. I have found that making him sleep on the couch isn't nearly as bad as sleeping with him and when he goes to snog with me just completely turn away.
~*Fading*~
::*(\_(\
*: (=’:’ ):*
•..(,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»
"I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
I think that you can do
I think that you can do better than him. OMG.. I told my dh your story last night.. and he just looked at me like it was a joke and there was a punch line coming. He couldnt believe any of it.. said the guy was dumb as a rock for not appreciating the one that stands by you..
In the card, I would put, thanks for thinking of others before me. I guess its more important to wine and dine people OTHER THAN your WIFE. F U. Happy F N Valentine's Day.
Are you freaking kidding
Are you freaking kidding me???? What is his problem. 1/2 dozen roses to BM!!! Oh, I don't even know what to say about that one. It sounds like he just doesn't get it. Next time he goes to you for some nookie... then tell him that perhaps he would be better served going to BM, since he still wants to impress her. Oh my gosh, it isn't even my man, and it makes me angry. If I were you, I would walk away now. Let him play disney-dad with some other woman, cause I will tell you one thing, with his little antics, he won't be able to keep one!
I completely agree!!! He
I completely agree!!! He should have sent you 1/2 dozen roses from his daughter. WTF? On Valentine's day he sends his ex some flowers... I would honestly be thinking that there is obviously an emotional connection from him to her. It sounds like he is trying to lavish princess to impress her as well. Because really, is a 5 year old going to be truly happy with jewlery? No, a normal five year old would be happy with a new doll or toy instead!
I am sorry, but something is weird about the entire situation all around. Getting a five year old jewelery??? Sending BM flowers, that she knows are not from his daughter, but from her loving father. I would throw that fish back, because you deserve better than that!
Yeah, the diamonds for a 5
Yeah, the diamonds for a 5 year-old are SOOOO completely insane, I would be wondering what the F is wrong with him. MAYBE a pair of diamond chip studs for a 16 year-old's BIRTHDAY, but a V-day gift for a kid who probably can't even read yet?
Seriously, like I said above, I would dump his sorry a** for this one -- the diamonds for the daughter are insane, but the flowers for the BM is completely over the top -- but the CROWNING GLORY is that you get jack. I would be throwing his stuff out the front door after his a**.
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
Hey Fading, Just wondering
Hey Fading,
Just wondering what happened on Valentine's Day.
Hope it was at least tolerable.... Hugs to you.
Fading - I was wondering the
Fading - I was wondering the same thing. How are you doing?
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
If my FH got BM roses and
If my FH got BM roses and not be I would KILL him. He is not allowed to spend a penny on her! NO WAYYY!! I mean my Vday sucked, but it was not as bad as yours. I am so sorry you are being treated like you are NOTHING! You need rethink your WHOLE situation! He is overstepping his boundaries!