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A Moment of Silence Please

Fading's picture

At 7:00 this morning, a body was found by my home. It was a child (no age given yet, we are assuming teen) who had hung themselves from a tree. The body was found in a wooded area known to the local kids as a hang out. Another child (a boy in his teens) found the body. This isn’t the first suicide in my little community. Five years ago, a man down the road held his family hostage, only later to shoot himself. The family still lives in the house. The two isn’t even all of them. Several have occurred on my block alone in the last couple years, many involving teens.
Now I don’t know all the stories, I just know that I find myself surrounded by horrible deaths. Regardless, after this morning, pay attention to your kids. Ask them about their day. Be open for them to talk to you about anything and everything. Have a ‘safe’ room in your house where they can talk to you about anything without having a screaming and yelling match. I’ve only been out of school for about 7 years, kids these days are dealing with things even I had no clue about.
Kids need you to be there for them. Whether they want to talk about the pressures of sex, the pain of bullying, how upset they are after Mom & Dad fight… I’m usually not the first one to jump up and say that I’d be there for SD, but if it came down to her problem vs. her life, I’d be there. No child should feel their only way ‘out’ is death.
I never thought in a million years that this would happen this close to home, let alone in my backyard…or that I would see a child in that position. My day was changed at 7AM after seeing a sneaker on the foot of a child, hanging 2-3 feet off the ground. I don’t know if I know this kid or not yet, but regardless it brings me to tears.
Listen to kids, they’ll tell you a lot if you are just open to them. Pay attention to their actions, so that maybe if that kid is feeling this is their way out, you can stop it before you find yourself staring at the sneakers of a dead child wondering what the hell could I have done?

I find myself wondering if the dogs barking last night were trying to tell someone...If the reason that I was up until 12:30 wandering around the house was because I felt something wasn't right...If I would've stared out the living room window like I usually do on nights I can't sleep, would I have seen this child? Been able to holler out "what are you doing? I'm calling the cops!" would that have stopped it? I feel guilt for what may be a total stranger... I don't know why, but I do. All I can say now though is that my thoughts are with the child's family and friends, and with the poor boy who happened upon the body.

Comments

Fading's picture

I understand, but this happened basically in my backyard. So had I looked out the window, I likely would have seen him/her. I already do a lot of work with anti-bullying and suicide prevention (local, national and international)...None of that makes this hurt any better. Just spoke to my brother in law and he is just thankful it wasn't his son. There hasn't been any more information released...It'll be hard going home and looking into my backyard knowing a kid died back there. This type of thing never really bother me this much, it made me sad, but not frantic like I am now...Then again it never happened in my backyard before. I even took my dogs out 15 minutes before the cops arrived...You'd think I'd have seen something but I was so focused on being cold and getting inside, I must've overlooked.

DaizyDuke's picture

So sad. I can't imagine what a child must be going through to feel that suicide is the only way to get peace. We had a terrible, terrible thing happen in my community aboaut 6 or 7 years ago in that a bunch of kids formed a suicide pact and one by one within a period of 2 months or so killed themselves. One hung himself on school property where I work, another drove his car into the side of another school at about 80 mph which caused the car to explode and the third shot himself at his home. It was just awful and the community leaders and school officials were deseperatley trying to figure out who was involved in the pact to try to stop it, but darn it, when these teenagers have it in their head to do something like this, I don't think there is whole lot you can do to prevent it. You might be able to delay, but most likely not prevent, so don't feel guilty.

will say a prayer for this boys family and the poor boy who found him.

StepX2's picture

Absolutely not anything you could have done. I'm very sorry you are going through this, it is very traumatic, but there really isn't anything you could have done.
I agree with Foxie that you don't need to be beating yourself up over this but rather take heed and concentrate on what you can do to help those that are still here, especially if this child turns out to be someone that your kids knew.
Prayers to you. (((hugs)))

misSTEP's picture

A very small community less than an hour away had something happen yesterday. A teen brought a gun to school and shot himself in front of his classmates.

He survived but I can't even imagine the nightmares those kids are going to have.

tweetybird74's picture

How sad. This is the second story today that I have read of a young person taking their own life. The other was a 15 yr old girl in Canada whom could no longer deal with the tourment the bullys at school were causing her. I am not sure what led this young person to hang themselves. But Fading there is not much you could have done. Lets just hope that this childs nightmares are not over!

unsure99's picture

My prayers are with the family and community. I've always said that as a parent suicide would be the hardest thing to go through.