You are here

Real Smooth, Ex-Lax...

Fading's picture

Well, if only there was a laxative that would help expell all the shit in your life...

Skidmark thinks she's purdyyyy clever! Silly kid, tricks are for prostitutes. Saturday night, Skidmark goes to spend the night with her cousins (SIL's kids). Good, I'm happy with that. I don't have to look at her so all good.

But the happiness would not last forever...

1AM. Skidmark calls. She wants DH to come sleep with her because she's scared. DH tells her no, she is to go to sleep. She starts whining and crying and....WHAM! You hear a thud and from a distance you can hear SIL and her DH saying "What the hell?" SD comes back on the phone and says SIL's DH HIT HER. Rofl.

What actually happen is this:
Skidmark was upset because Daddy wasn't doing exactly what she asked for. So she cries and whines. This doesn't change Daddy's mind, so she whacks her head on the wall. DH talks to SIL and her DH, they text a picture of SD and by now their kids were awake, their kids say SD did it to herself. SD finally admitted she did it but only because "Daddy should be sleeping with me and not Fading".

DH handled it well. SIL said she will take Skidmark back to BM right then (about 2AM at this point). 2:30AM BM calls, she's pissed because now Skidmark is at home crying because she didn't get to see him. He tells BM what happened...

Good ole BioNazi, forever incapable of grasping logic and basics, says there is no way Skidmark would have smacked her own head, FADING must have done it. Well since I don't live with SIL, and have proof I was at home on the computer until about 3-4AM, I must be able to be in two places at once! DH had the phone on speaker so I could hear MizzNastie2012(her assumed screen name?) so I had to ask BM if she believed in magic. This confused the shit out of her. I told her that I'd have to be a Charmed One if I can put myself in two places at once! I could HEAR her seething and foaming on the other end, rofl.

So moral of the story is:

Fading has magical powers. Beware.

Comments

StickAFork's picture

LOL!

Fading's picture

She's still super mad at me for her hubby being attracted to me...Yepp, I know what you're thinking...Bitches be cray cray. I just think it's super amazing that I have teleporting powers I was unaware of until now.

Fading's picture

This is what I am assuming...I have yet to know and understand the extent of my powers.

RedWingsFan's picture

OMG! If I were SIL, I'd have told Skid to shut the hell up and go to sleep...and never allow her to spend the night again!

And BM - what a fucking moron! Smile

Lalena75's picture

This proves the "I'm gonna reach through this phone and smack you upside the head" theory my parents always threatened me with now I know I was a very lucky child that my parents restrained themselves lol.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

Skidmark! LOL.

I used to call the youngest shitstain. He would crap his pants on purpose for attention. Biggrin