Holy shit! My parent's didn't ever spend that much on me for birthdays or valentine's day. We were always around $25 for birthday presents and usually just got a little treat for vday, st patricks day, etc.

And what the hell is up with sending BM flowers? That's not cool at all. Have her make her a card but to send flowers? That's RIDICULOUS.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

Uh, I think you are reacting normally. Is he dating you or Atilla, lol? Valentine's Day is meant for couples, not for parents and children. My parents never did a damn thing for us for Valentine's Day, I remember my Mom getting flowers and her and my Dad going out. DH and I have been through 3 Valentine's Days, and Im good with not giving/getting gifts, but last year when DH and I were having problems and I got a card and SS got a DVD, box full of candies, and a game, I was pissed!!! No wonder these children feel so damn entitled these days. They come before everyone!!! There is also no way in hell my DH would put money towards a gift from SS to BM. I would be freaking livid. I think your DH is going a little overboard for her.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Doesn't it piss you off when you're working your ass off and have no extra money for anything fun yet BF complains that he doesn't have any money but he's always bringing home new golf clubs, shoes, etc. Plus he's going on a trip in 2 weeks. But yet there's no money for a ring for me. Selfish.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

I would be livid! He wouldn't get that ring for vday. I would start forgetting to be nice to him. What a jerk!!! My father always got me a little box of chocolates for v-day. Now he gets a small box for his only granddaughter. My dh will likely get Creature some candy, but diamond earrings???? I think if dh ever spent that much on anything for Creature (at this point since she is 5), I'd have a coronary. Absolutely not! I would take $500 out of the "down payment" fund and treat yourself. Screw him. Wow AND he is taking her to dinner and leaving you home. I hope he isn't expecting any "intimate" time for V-day because I'd tell him to go to hell!

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

Oooh the flowers to the mom would drive me insane!!

We have had SD for the past two VDays. In my family, my mom always made it abotu a day of all kinds of love. SO last year I made it an all day family holiday. We had heart shaped pancakes, heart shaped burgers...SD and my niece did a treasure hunt...they decorated cookies and made a heart cake. It was pretty awesome. BF and I celebrated the weekend after when she was gone. It is not the DAY that I care about...it is the time alone (plus he got me a weekend away as a gift).

This year we are doing a day trip with the girls. So our time together is a different weekend again.

So...tell him you want a YOU day...for you two. Does not have to be on the 14th.

But frankly, spending that on a 5 yr old is ridiculous. But the FLOWERS I would kill him for.

Ouch! Is he trying to be an A-hole to you? I would be very hurt. You see he's perfectby capable making someone feel special but he's doing it all wrong. He needs to honor both of you. Maybe he has a surprise for you? This just sounds so lop-sided.

Personally, I'd leave for that V-day weekend. Whether or not he has something planned for you, I'd make plans to be gone. As for his ring. I wouldn't give it to him. Not until he honors you like he should. What an ass....I'm sorry.

OMG! I thought my DH was clueless!

Honestly, I know this sounds terrible but I appreciate my DH so much more right now because of this!

DH would never in a million years buy SD something that expensive for Vday! Hell, I don't think he gets her anything but a rose or maybe a card. That's your day, as a couple.

I would be livid. Honestly, who does that?!

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

Wow.. where to start here.... I think he is absolutely nuts for buying a 5 year old diamond anything... czs are just fine.. she will never, ever know the difference... same goes for the dinner out for Valentines... seriously? I mena wow it is Olive garden and all LOL not a fancy, expensive or even romantic place to go.. so that part is ok I guess.. but again.. she doesn't know the difference.. Frankly he is setting her up for a whole lot of disappointment as she gets older... times are too tough these days to waste money like that. A little box of candies.. sure.. a little $.99 Hallmark cool..
Moving on to you picking up all the slack... I say hell to the no on that... any extra money he might have, he needs to put towards your future.. not ear rings for a 5 year old... I wouldn't pick up a single cent extra this pay period. I have found personally that the more we SPs do on the downlow, the lazier and more complacent the real parents get. IE I used to just do the grocery shopping.. I would buy all the things the skids wanted and stock the house full... then I realized I was going broke on these skids... they got used to it and did not appreciate it... Now.. DH comes with me everytime.. he sees how much things cost, I make him aware of the terrible waste these skids just tooss away etc... it's all different now.
Finally ROSES FOR THE EX... OMG I couldn't stomach it for a second.. I would kick his ass to the curb in a heartbeat. That is entirely disrespectful of you and your marriage... unacceptable, period.

I am sorry but the flowers to the ex wife are probably the thing that most upset me. I really think you need to explain to him (maybe a letter) how inappropriate his actions are. it demeans YOU.

WOW!!!! I dont know what to say but dont stress out. You know he is doing it out of love for his daughter and nothing more. I do think you should go to Olive Garden with them. Dont cut your self sort. You are his family too. So go and enjoy yourself and make a memory. Take lots of pictures and all.
About the ring I think you should give it to him. Remember you bought becuase you love your husband not because he was going to buy you something. What you need to start doing is showing him what you like and how you like it - Men are little boys that need to be taught.
I feel you should have your romantic dinner with your hubby, it doesnt have to be on the 14th. do it the weekend before or when ever you guys have time druing to week. Thats what I do.
I have always made it a point to spend holidays with the kids. I make it special for them and I know that daddy Appreciates it too.

Please dont stay at home that day include yourself even if he doesnt invite you just go!....

~Life's a Journey-So take a deep breath and enjoy the ride~

it is SO unhealthy to teach these young girls about love this way. how can he not see that? my BF actually took SD with him to help pick my diamond earrings...she helped convince him to get bigger ones. when she said she wanted some...he told her one day to make sure she got a BF who bought her the bigger earrings too!

not enough Vodka yet my dearest Crayon.....JK

tell your mom she is wrong! blended families are not about that! what exactly is BLENDED about that situation. I am so hitting her too now.

pawn the ring.

stop doing housework.

tell him you plan on getting a boyfriend on the side...after all he has his side action...and you have to get gifts somewhere!

omg!!!! the whole thing about sending flowers to the bm... that is a no, no! who does that? i would be furious! i'm so sorry fadin.. what a ass he is.. showing your daughter how much you love her is one thing but what does that have to do with the bm.... sending her flowers.. for what? for anything you should be the one receiving flowers. he got nothing to do with her... he with you.

Without reading all the comments, I would say for sure something wrong is going on here. I can understand him wanting to take out his daughter as a special treat. My wife and I switch off kids for private alone time. But an expensive gift like that? Let me just say that years ago my ex (Before she was my ex), bought a $2000 Emerald set "for" our daughter. She said it was going to be an heirloom for her, but was planning on using it herself. Needless to say I took her to the store and made her return it.
Well there is no reason for your husband to be buying anything, let alone flowers on "V-Day" for his ex. I am thinking the jewelry he has bought his daughter may end up in the hands of BM. Maybe not but watch it.
This is another example of men thinking to much of the BM's and putting their current wife second. Get a clue guys, there is a reason your not married to that bitch anymore. Love the one your with and never stop.

"Love is harmony and harmony is the vibration of the music that binds the universe."

Funny...BF just texted to let me know he is stopping at the mall on the way home to get SD's vday gift. A snowglobe (she collects) for $20!! So...um. Well , he is having it engraved. But since he already booked our evening for vday, I think it is all good:)

ThisThere must be something in the Stars...( no lie, and zero clue) ????? is so fucked up...and I thought mine was? ugh

Diamond earrings fit adults too - I would say, Thank you Dear!!! and keep them yourself! A 5 year old will lose these in no time flat.

He should be up Kaka Creek until he figures it out! and there is no way I would attend a 'special dinner' with him and SD! I think he needs to turn over his paycheck to you every week if he is going to do such ridiculous things with it.

BM flowers = boot to the ass too. I am sorry honey. Me and DH won't do anything (that you pay for!) because we are broke but at least we are BOTH not getting anything - please do not give yours a gift!
_________________________________________________________
“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham

My dh probably will only give me a card. We both think vday is a ridiculous idea. One day a year to dote on someone you're supposed to love. He treats me right everyday. But he also won't spend $ on Creature and certainly not on Wingnut.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

start spitting in his food.

OH MY GOD!! You have to be kidding me. Total jerk for getting you nothing and leaving you home alone with chick flicks while his 5 year old daughter lives it up with him. I know we all put up with a lot from the skids, BMs and DHs, but this one takes the cake. My DH went out of his way to trade weekends so we could have vday weekend together (that's why he has the kids tonight), and he would never buy something like that for his daughter even at 16. At christmas he wouldn't even buy her the $300 laptop she wanted because he couldn't afford it.

I totally feel for you Fading and I hope it works out. I agree with taking money from the house down payment fund and you getting something nice for yourself. It may set you back a bit, but you're totally worth it and you deserve it!

OMG I'm so glad I have BOYS! So sorry Fading. This just sucks. Your DH needs a smack upside the head. What an idiot! If I had a girl and she got something more than me for vday from dear ole daddy? I'd sure as hell be planning a very special weekend WITHOUT DH the following weekend and helping myself to a nice gift!

He is off his rocker..

OMG. I would have told him to return the earrings. and sending flowers to his ex from their kid?!?!?! WTF!

I feel your pain. Our first Vday together, FH took me on a "romantical" date to.....*drumroll please*
Denny's. (yes, denny's.)
Then we went to Wal Mart (because he had to get something for Tortoise, I think) and we walked in and I saw some flowers and said, "Oh those are pretty" and FH said, "Well, why don't you get some. They're reduced in price"..... *eyeroll*
Our second Vday, we went out to a nice dinner at Macaroni Grill like a week after Vday (because he was on his 4 day trip to his parents house) and the only reason we went there is because MY parents got us a gift card to there for Vday!
Last Vday? We went to a local seafood place, which was really good. He did try last year.....
This year? He'll be back up at his parents house on his 4 day off weekend and I'll be home ALONE.
Yay....not.
Good thing I work 5am-2pm saturday. I'm getting as much guinness I can afford and getting shitfaced as soon as I step in the door from work on saturday.
Since I don't have to work sunday, I can sleep off the hangover.
FH is such a dumb ass sometimes.

All this crap about VDay - what a realization for what's really happening - and your DH's behavior has many of our hearts  racing and SCREAMING for YOU to RUN for the fricking Hills!!  The SD is only 5 yrs old - I'm sorry - you might be in for a long ride thru HELL  - or you could consider the possibilities for a happy life - without stepchildren and a man who will always put them before you...  Good Luck and God Bless!!  We all wish you the BEST!!

Any version of this story where you end up copping the swag would be glorious. Even if you take it in revenge. 

Such as going to Claire's and switching the diamonds for $10 earring copycats. Wear the diamonds. Tell Atilla that you have matching earrings. 

He plly will never get a wife as nice as you ever again in his life so you figured why not get yourself something nice to show yourself you love yourself for VDAY?  He is an Dumbass!

Edit: I forgot about the flowers he sent! That's it now I'm plotting. Something about DH taking cab home after dinner and having the locks changed and eating ice cream naked! Mmm life is great! DH can go to a motel room for VDAY!

Best flavor for revenge: anything with the word devil in it

All this crap about VDay - what a realization for what's really happening - and your DH's behavior has many of our hearts  racing and SCREAMING for YOU to RUN for the fricking Hills!!  The SD is only 5 yrs old - I'm sorry - you might be in for a long ride thru HELL  - or you could consider the possibilities for a happy life - without stepchildren and a man who will always put them before you...  Good Luck and God Bless!!  We all wish you the BEST!!